It's freakishly official

Allan is a freak. Yeah, I know, that has most of you yawning and saying "Tell me something I DON'T know", right? Right.

But this time, I have solid evidence.

In recent weeks Allan, plagued with hip trouble, sought out a doctor and paid a visit to a rheumatologist, who diagnosed back troubles and stressed proper posture and ergonomics and the like. Just to be certain, x-rays were ordered. Allan dutifully had them done and then paid the doc another visit to discuss the results.

Thence came the unusual discovery: Allan was the proud owner of 6 lumbar vertebrae. Most modern, normal humans have 5. Yup, you read that right. Not only does he possess an extra vertebra (which goes a long way toward explaining why he's so giant despite not *looking* that tall), but it was early man (i.e. Homo erectus, one of the earliest of them all) that commonly had 6 lumbar vertebrae.

So... further proof that not only is Allan a freak, but he's moving BACKWARD along the evolutionary chain!

Since the x-rays are in electronic format, we ought to see about obtaining a copy of it, so I can post the picture here. Then we can all gather around like in the olden days of the circus, gawking at the freak show that took center stage...

Here We Come A Wassailing

Ever hear of that song? I've *heard* of the title, but never knew what it actually meant (it means caroling). And I'd heard of carolers going door-to-door but never really understood where it stemmed from.

Well, this year my son's school, which is affiliated with the local Orthodox church, decided to try caroling as a fundraiser, just as in the Orthodox tradition. And I learned something new.

The way it works is simple: during the 12 days of Christmas (from Christmas Day on Dec 25 to Epiphany on Jan 6), carolers go door-to-door, sing for the host home, get invited in for drinks and a snack, chit chat a bit, and then receive their donation before departing. In our case, since the fundraiser is specifically for the school, we organize it a bit more-- targeting priority homes (mostly those of school parents and church board members), giving a more detailed spiel explaining what the caroling/fundraising is for, and scheduling appearances. So far, the fundraising has been a smashing success-- and we still have a week to go!

Last night provided another opportunity to carol at a Christmas party hosted by one of the senior staff of the Orthodox church. Since we could always use more singers, I invited friends from our church (a non-denominational Protestant church) to come sing. After all, we'd been practicing Christmas carols for our own church's choir for the past few months, and figured it would be fun to have a few more opportunities to actually perform what we've learned.

We had a lot of fun and got to meet lots of new people. Small world, too, as one of the Orthodox church members recognized one of my friends (who is the choir director at *our* church) as her kids' music teacher at a neighboring private school! And one of the school parents runs the business that supplies our company (among others) with our coffee and water dispensing machines. This city of 90K is not that big, after all.

Anyway... if you're reading this and are in/around Santa Barbara and like to sing, feel free to come join us in caroling :-) It'll be lots of fun, and you don't even have to be a good singer (case in point: Allan sings with us!)

One last funny to close out the post: remember my post about Allan being called "Ms. Kwee"? Well, when Allan and I attended our first caroling session on Saturday, the headmaster of the school inadvertently introduced him as "Todd". Which is understandable, as he sees Todd far more than he sees Allan. But, as an old high school classmate pointed out, that combination of misnomers just goes to prove that Allan will someday need lots of help remembering who he is ;-) No wonder he puts on his nametag upside down every Sunday :-)

When gingerbread men turn...

Every other Monday, the Tech Group (which is more or less the entire Engineering Department) has a meeting, mostly to catch up on HR stuff (like awards and introducing new hires), and listening to presentations on a variety of tech-related topics currently of interest.

This past Monday, however, we held gingerbread decorating instead of an actual meeting. Only a handful of us showed up. The majority, I think, were out on vacation :-) The rest were simply not inclined for such shenanigans ;-)

Anyway, we trooped downstairs and found a table laden with gingerbread men, cans of icing, toppings, and frosting. And while there was a huge plateful of whole gingerbread men, there were also 2 boxes to the side containing broken pieces.

It was this box that I began rummaging through. At first I thought I might try a Frankenstein-like creation-- gluing together obviously mismatched body parts with icing. But then I discovered a headless, legless gingerbread man (his body in one box, his head in another) and my imagination kicked into overdrive. Especially when I discovered that one of the cans of icing was red in color...

This is what I came up with:



But it needed more of a crime-scene feel to it, I mused. So I grabbed a marker and drew a chalk outline. Then, drawing inspiration from bloody scenes I'd seen in newspapers and television shows, I added a smear in what would've been the right place for a fatal bullet hole. Missing from this photo is the last finishing touch: I cut a yellow post-it note into strips, taped the strips together end-to-end to create a long, thin "caution tape" strip and then wrote "CAUTION DO NOT ENTER" repeatedly across it... just like real yellow police tape! :-) I then used it to cordon off the crime scene :-D It actually worked, for my plate trio sat in the corner of the table, well away from the other, normal creations!

Click on image for larger, gorier details ;-)



Yeah... Helly has a morbid imagination. That doesn't actually surprise any of you, does it? I guess I was making up for my lack of doing anything gory on Halloween ;-) Some people said the cookiecide scene reminded them of Shrek. My husband grew wary of going home with me that night, and insisted on sleeping with one eye open. Never mind that some of those ideas came from him! :-P

So... cookies, anyone? *maniacal grin* >:-D

Our religion needs a name

A couple weeks ago, we heard an interesting sermon in church about the difference between faith and religion. And I would have to agree-- true Christianity is about faith, not the rituals that define a typical religion. But that is for another, more serious discussion.

Now, I have a confession to make: I may have my faith, but I also belong to a bona fide religion with its stringent sets of rules, the breaking of which would cause a member to be booted in shame and disgrace.

It doesn't have a name yet. It consists of a few core tenets, such as:

1. Thou shalt not run for the sake of running
2. Thou shalt not hike
3. Thou shalt not keep cats as pets, for they are the devil incarnate

Our religion enables us to provide a simple answer when people ask us if we run or hike. We merely say "No, it's against our religion". Interestingly enough, we've actually garnered a few followers using this method! Hey, everyone is welcome! All that we ask is that you adhere to the core tenets and all is well :-)

Now, just as many other religions out there, we're starting to feel a potential schism. It runs mainly along the lines of food. For example, I firmly believe that to mix mint with anything else (like chocolate!) is a desecration of all that is holy and mintly. Mint must be enjoyed in its pure and unadulterated form! Allan, however, dares to defile it by eating it with chocolate and other sweet goods. Sacrilege!!

Anyway... shaky as the side rules may be, we're still holding strong on the core guidelines.

But in the interest of uniquely identifying ourselves amongst the hordes of other cults and religions out there, we need a name. One friend has dubbed herself a follower of "Allan and Helly's religion". (She found it handy to throw at her husband when he invited her to go hiking with him). It's descriptive, but a bit generic and a bit long.

So... any ideas? What should we call ourselves?

Sunday afternoon funny

This little gem is currently reflected on mine and Allan's Facebook statuses, but since some of my readers aren't (active) on FB, I thought I'd share it here, too.

Sunday afternoon, we're shopping at Vons (Safeway for those of you outside of Southern California). Like most supermarkets, it has a rewards card entitling you to discounts. Allan and I both have one, but since his has long been inactive, we just use mine. To save on carrying multiple cards in my wallet, we simply key in my phone number at checkout, and watch the numbers roll off the prices. Easy peasy. Right?

Yesterday was no different-- I minded Todd while Allan paid for groceries. As he reached for the receipt, he was greeted with "Have a nice day, Ms. Kwee!"

Apparently my name popped up as the owner of the rewards card after I punched in my phone number. If the cashier had simply addressed him as "Mr. Kwee", it would've been funny enough. It HAS happened in the past, though usually by people who haven't actually SEEN Allan (i.e. mail/telephone correspondence) and seen that he doesn't look remotely Asian. Still, stranger names have happened, and it's obvious we're a family, so "Mr. Kwee" would not have been too much of a stretch.

But "Ms. Kwee"? When the obviously MALE customer is standing right there in front of you? Well! Too funny! Although I suppose if it hadn't been for this gaffe, I wouldn't have an amusing story to tell, and more ammo with which to poke fun at Allan! :-D

Or should I say... "Ms. Kwee" :-D

(this does jive well with the assertion that he's the woman and I'm the man in the relationship, but that's for another blog entry...)

When giving gets dangerous

Okay. I'm all for charity. We all have our pet causes. We all have issues we feel passionate about and would donate to, and even if not, we typically don't mind giving a dollar to a cause when asked here and there, such as at the store register or walking along the street. No pressure, typically, and it only takes a few seconds out of my day to either say "no thank you" or fork over a buck or a few coins.

Then there was today.

Do you remember my blog entry about poverty in Indonesia, whereby I described a poor woman in the middle of the road, one arm holding her hungry baby and the other outstretched for a few coins? Dangerous situation to be in. One moment of inattention by a hurried driver, and she could be history.

Now picture that same situation. But set in the United States. And instead of poor, hungry, homeless people, it's strong, healthy firemen. Not just one. But several. Canvassing the many corners of one of the biggest and busiest intersections in Santa Barbara. Traipsing from car to car and holding out boots, begging for donations to the MDA (Muscular Dystrophy Association). And not just walking up and down the sidewalk, oh no. They were determined to reach maximum drivers by walking in the middle of the street lanes! Last I heard, that constitutes jaywalking, and is illegal here.

Don't get me wrong-- as I said before, I am all for charity, and laud the fire department for its efforts in promoting the cause and getting people to donate. I support charities that work hard and honestly and funnel our hard-earned money to the right places.

What I do not condone, however, is breaking the law to do it. Not to mention everything else:
1) by walking down the middle of a very busy street, the firemen are putting themselves at unnecessary risk for getting mowed down by a car. Yes, they usually wait until the light is red, but don't always extricate themselves in time for the light to turn green.

2) It holds up traffic. It's one thing to beg drivers who are already stopped and waiting for a red light, but the drivers who don't have to stop and only have to yield (i.e. those turning right) are another story. Some will actually stop when they should not, in order to pass money out their windows. And what did that lead to?

3) Traffic congestion: When I got off the exit that leads to the intersection, I was shocked at how full the off ramp was! By the time I inched to the front and made my turn, I saw that traffic was backed up so much, we couldn't actually move! Thoughtless/careless drivers making the left turn out of that offramp wound up blocking the road, and others trying to go straight in the opposite direction couldn't move. Oh, and this backup? Was all the way INTO the freeway offramp, not just the street. Meaning it stretched back nearly a mile. And had the potential for spilling that congestion into the freeway itself, which causes more potential problems and accidents.

4) What if there had been a REAL emergency requiring an ambulance to go through that congestion? Fat chance of getting through as quickly as it should under normal circumstances!

Seriously, guys. I understand the MDA is an important cause to you, and I respect that. But I cannot respect going out of your way to break the law, endanger yourselves and potentially others, and at the very least, inconveniencing many drivers along the way. Where do you think the police were during all this? Nowhere to be seen, unsurprisingly. If it had been demonstrators taking one step out of line, the cops would have been all over them. If a homeless panhandler was daring enough to jet back and forth amongst traffic, he'd no doubt be slapped with a jaywalking charge. And all for good reason-- that kind of behavior is reckless and potentially dangerous.

And you know, if you're so hung up on your cause that you're willing to put your neck on the line to support it (i.e. getting hit by a car), that's certainly your prerogative. But please don't risk the safety of the rest of us while you're at it. There are laws there for a reason. You, of all organizations/people, should know that better than anyone. Don't think that just because you're a revered and respected organization, you're above the law. And for the drivers that also disregard traffic laws and common courtesy: if you really want to give that badly, you can always visit the MDA website and donate there. Or look up their number in the phone book. Or heck, call the fire department and to get MDA contact info!

Blah. That's the end of my rant for today. I think I could give Nick a run for his money in the rant department. Maybe it's his fault, his rant mode from yesterday rubbed off on me ;-)

Mondays

What is it about Mondays that people dread so much? Aside from signaling the end of the weekend, which is probably the most obvious answer ;-P But really-- why do Mondays get such a bad rap?

I logged into Facebook to find several friend statuses all in a row, and all to the effect of "I don't do Mondays". Two of them made reference to the Bangles' famous "Manic Monday" song. Others expressed bleariness at the early hour. All brought to mind images of Garfield, loathe to get out of bed in the morning, especially Monday morning. Which, to be fair, was how I was this morning-- but then again, that's how I am EVERY morning, regardless of the day.

Monday's much-lamented arrival brings to mind scenes from "Office Space" and the annoying "someone's got a case of the Mondays!" co-worker. As if it were an awful, contagious disease.

Me? As I said above, I just don't do mornings, period. But aside from that, I actually like Mondays to a degree. I like that it's the beginning of a brand new week, a fresh start with the entire week at my feet, full of possibilities and accomplishments. I like that I'm somewhat refreshed after a restful (well, as restful as a 4-year-old will allow!) weekend, and not dragging like I am on Thursday and Friday. As much as I hate mornings, by comparison it is far easier to get up on Monday morning than on Friday morning, by which point the week's weariness has caught up. But most of all, I like that I am getting back into a routine. You know me-- I crave order and routine and abhor spontaneity and chaos. Monday signals the start of another week of regular, set schedules. I thrive in that.

And to the Bangles, I would say: if anything, it's Fridays that are manic due to the rush of trying to get things done before the weekend. Well... early morning hours aside, of course ;-)

Don't get me wrong-- I look forward to Friday's end and the weekend as much as the next person. But Mondays... just aren't that horrendous and dreadful to me.

So how are you? How is/was your Monday?

Furry Caterpillar

After being rudely awakened by one of those recorded spam phone calls this morning, the family and I trooped down to the clubhouse of our apartment complex to enjoy some free breakfast. We ate cheese, fruit and pastries in the warm sun of the pool patio. While Todd played in the adjacent playground, I suddenly spied something small and brown crawling VERY fast along the ground! I crowded in for a closer look, wondering what it was-- a centipede? Todd provided the answer: "A caterpillar!" I watched in fascination as he crawled rapidly across the playground and disappeared into the bushes. He was brown and furry and looked like a little cactus, but the cutest part of all was his big, black buggy eyes! He looked just like the star of the famous children's book, "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" (except he was dark brown instead of green):



Cuter still? The way his head moved around as he took in the surroundings, figuring out the best way to navigate over the grass (no small obstacle course for such a tiny creature!) He looked just like a little dog, sniffing his way around as he explored the giant world around him.

Then... I decided I wanted to take a closer look at this little critter, so I got a leaf and placed it in his way, forcing him to crawl on it. I lifted it, examined the bug, and then-- he slipped and fell OFF the leaf and onto the grass, where he lay perfectly still! I only hope he was playing dead (like roly polys do) and wasn't really knocked out by the fall! Grass is soft, but who knows what it feels like to a little insect. I felt bad. Poor little guy! I hope he's okay. Allan has decided not to let me mess around with nature anymore. He has a point. We humans are notorious for upsetting the balance of nature-- from interrupting a tiny caterpillar's journey and dropping him, to polluting the oceans and destroying wildlife homes. What a shame. Animals are such fascinating creatures.

I hope the little caterpillar finally got up and made his way to wherever he was going. He was the cutest insect I'd ever seen, especially when taking on his dog-like antics. And I still think he's cuter now than when he will morph into a butterfly later on. Butterflies are cool and pretty, but they are not "awwwww!" cute :-D

Been ages...

... since I've posted here, and no wonder! Things have been going at full speed since I last wrote.

It started with our church's Thanksgiving potluck dinner. Allan turned a vegetable dish into his faux-risotto masterpiece-- cooking a bunch of different veggies and then adding a touch of rice and cream to it. Delicious! :-9 The evening was filled with fun and laughter as we played games and enjoyed good food with good company. At our table was the former CFO of our company, back when it was still a small startup. Small world!

The next day I delved into a short week at work, but it turned out to be one of the longest, as my only 2 colleagues in my sub-group were both out on vacation at the same time, so I was more or less filling in 3 shoes. Fortunately no major problems arose :-) Still, it was an interesting challenge, and a good gauge to see how much I'd learned this past year. Could I handle being on my own for a few days? Well, so far so good :-)

I was more than ready for Thanksgiving Thursday to roll around and just RELAX during the 4-day weekend. We did our usual-- celebrating at my sister-in-law's house with all of Allan's family. Todd apparently observed Aunt Debbie bustling about in the kitchen with nary a sight of Uncle Ron about, for when Uncle Ron tried to kid him about being the one to do all the work, Todd set him straight: "Uncle Ron didn't do anything! Aunt Debbie did everything!"

As much as I enjoyed the break, I was definitely looking forward to going back to work and resuming our daily routine again. You know me-- I crave order and routine, and thrive in it. So Monday began as it always does... except this time I found Todd a karate class! I'd been making phone calls a couple weeks ago, never finding anything suitable-- most of the kiddie lessons were during work hours, or else they were really far away (far away from an SB perspective, that is :-P). On a whim, I called one place whose website I hadn't previously been able to access-- and what do you know, they are located right NEXT DOOR to Todd's after-school care program, and starts at a reasonable hour! We visited and Todd did remarkably well, attempting to participate as much as he could, and even raising his hand and volunteering for a demonstration at the end! Here's to more successful lessons in the future!

Talking to my mother-in-law during Thanksgiving made me realize that I forgot to update everyone on the washer/dryer situation. It FINALLY got stacked! I actually printed out 3 pages of calendars to jot down notes on when I called and when things happened. I should blog it one day, just so you can see how crazily it stretches out over 3 whole months. But in a nutshell: we ordered the set on Sep 14, it arrived and was installed on Sep 26, and that's when the stacking adventures began. When did it finally get stacked? Nov 8. That's right-- nearly 2 months after we initially ordered it!

I got a treat in the mail yesterday-- thank you, Kendra, for the lovely card and the cute turtle bola necklace! I love them! And I'm sorry for ruining your careful handiwork by undoing the bow on the card :-( The picture of the Muppet threw me off, I kept thinking it was a real card instead of cardboard support, and the fact that I wrestled for ages to get all the bows undone didn't alert me that MAYBE they should've stayed tied up? Silly me!

One last note-- does anyone know what the going rate for a babysitter is? Our holiday party is coming up in a week, and we're thinking of hiring Todd's primary caregiver at day care to watch him while we're out. He (the caregiver) is okay with the idea, but we haven't finalized details. Obviously he's trained/experienced since he *works* at an after-school facility, which would warrant higher pay than the teenager next door... and I'm aware rates would fluctuate wildly from the rural backwoods to the busy big city, but... what do you think constitutes a fair rate?

This and that

I've been quite remiss in my blogging, haven't I! It's been crazy busy here, and I feel as though I barely have time to stop and catch my breath. Now the holidays are approaching and it's going to get even madder for a while, as it always does. I realized I haven't provided many personal updates. Not that there's much to tell!

Todd got his first report card as we had our first parent-teacher conference this week. He's doing fine, gets along well with his classmates, and is starting to come out of his shell a little more.

Gas prices have been dropping nicely-- I hear it's below $2 in some parts of LA. I've never seen prices dip so fast! One station I keep my eye on frequently was changing their sign almost every day this past couple weeks! Let's hope it soon translates to lower prices in the stores, too.

I've joined the choir at church and have been having fun practicing Christmas carols with our little group. Sometimes I'm the only tenor, as the other two guys will occasionally prefer bass, depending on the song. Despite our small size, though, I think we sound pretty decent singing a capella. This year we're also trying something a little ambitious-- the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah. My head has been filled with Christmas tunes a little earlier this year!

This weekend promises to be a busy one-- along with the usual chores/errands, we've got a (surprise) party to attend on Saturday, and then Thanksgiving potluck with our church on Sunday. Allan shall be hard at work in the kitchen, preparing our dishes :-)

Next weekend brings the usual festivities and seeing our families in LA as we celebrate Thanksgiving at Ron and Debbie's. Then a holiday party at work, and preparations for Christmas!

Christmas shopping is never an easy task, but this year, with all my online perusals, I discovered a website that makes your shopping easier. It's called Kaboodle, and you can enter the URL of just about any shopping website and it will extract key information and keep it in a list for you. It's been great for organizing potential gifts from a variety of stores.

One store in particular garnered lots of browsing by me last night: Lush! I would never have heard of it had it not been for Jenna sending me some of their soap a year ago. I spied some interesting gift sets there. So... thanks, Jenna, for introducing me to some really unique bath items!

Back to the grind... end of year means annual eval time at work, and all the fun paperwork that entails!

Is it time to move yet?

I think it is no secret that I ABHOR wind. Every year in fall the Santa Anas whip through southern California, leaving me feeling dry, staticky, dusty and miserable. Give me rain or snow any day over wind! But really, the worst of it is that the combination of gusty winds and the dry desert climate of So Cal makes the perfect recipe for wild fires.

Last summer, the Zaca Fire (which broke out about 40 miles north of where we live) burned for nearly 2 months. It was one of the longest-burning fires in So Cal. Ash would still be blowing in months later.

Then this past summer, there was the Gap Fire, which was REALLY close to home-- I could see the mountains behind work ablaze! The sun was not to be seen behind the haze of smoke. Air wasn't fun to breathe, either. We lost power intermittently for several days, including at work. The car wash service that comes to our company every Friday was swamped the following week, with people bringing their ash-covered cars in to be cleaned.

Fast forward to my parents' home last month, where we were getting ready for our trip to Indonesia. Allan and Todd arrived Sunday afternoon to see us off, spend the night, and then hit Disneyland the next day. My parents and I departed Sunday night, and Allan told me the story of the rest: being rousted at 6am the next morning by rescue personnel who were evacuating the area. Fortunately, my parents' house and the rest of the neighborhood survived intact-- despite the fire burning along hills that were only a couple hundred feet away! We returned home to the sight of blackened hills and black ash EVERYWHERE. That was the Marek Fire. If you scroll down the pictures and look at the map view with all the dots, my parents' home is a little below the "o" in "San Fernando". Talk about close call!

And then... there was last night. The Tea Fire broke out in Montecito, which is less than 20 miles south of where we live. Far enough away, but too close for comfort, esp given the heavy winds. We had no TV, but we could peek out our kitchen window and see the faraway hills burning. In fact, we only initially learned about it by reading local friends' Facebook statuses! Wonderful thing, this here Interwebs ;-) Pray for winds to die down today so the risk of the fire spreading way out of control is minimized.

So yeah. I'm sick of winds. I'm sick of fires, ash and smoky air. Are we ready to move yet? ;-P

Veteran's Day ruminations

Today is Veteran's Day, and I'm at work. I got to reminiscing a bit about my Army days, especially as I was organizing my online photo albums last night. And I thought today would be a perfect day to re-write one of my old blog posts from nearly 3 years ago, when some friends asked me about my time in the military. The original entry took the form of a FAQ, I've decided to re-write it in more of a story format:

My story begins with a hint of curiosity more than anything else. My senior year in high school, I made friends with some of the JROTC cadets, and they kept persuading me to try it out. Since I was about to graduate, I figured I'd give it a spin when I started college. The following year, I enrolled in the UCLA Army ROTC progam, and things just sort of blossomed from there.

I don't know how many of you have read Colin Powell's autobiography, but in it, he says that he felt rather aimless in college, when the cadets in uniform on campus caught his eye. He decided to try it out, and found that it was not only something he enjoyed, but excelled at.

Well, it's pretty much the same thing with me. I found it was something I really enjoyed and became good at. But more than that, all that military and leadership training really helped bring me out of my shell.

After finishing my 4 years of ROTC, I received my commission into the U.S. Army Signal Corps, and after a few months of Officer's Basic Course at Ft. Gordon, GA, I spent the remainder of my 4 years of active duty stationed in Mannheim, Germany. (My subsequent 4 years were spent in the IRR-- Individual Ready Reserve).

It was an experience like no other. The military possesses a unique culture. The importance of teamwork and effective team-building was brought home to me every single day, since that's a large part of what makes our armed forces so great. The camaraderie and close bonds formed between you and the people in your unit, the immense pride in the work you do, the limitless opportunities for self-development and self-improvement-- all are things you rarely find anywhere else, and things I cherish.

It was also a great opportunity to go back to my birth country and see old family friends, as well as tour the rest of nearby Europe.

As I mentioned, I've always been very much an introvert, and still am-- but am more outgoing and sociable because of my military experience. But beyond merely the social aspect, I also gained skills that have proven useful anywhere, including a civilian career. Like planning, organizing, public speaking, training/teaching, and being adaptable to sudden changes.

It is also thanks to the jobs I held that I began to discover where my strengths and interests lie. The job I enjoyed most was that of the battalion Adjutant, which is akin to Human Resources in the civilian world. Some of you know that I mapped out our last family vacation on Excel spreadsheets. That is how much I love planning and organizing little details like that. I also discovered how much I enjoyed the training aspect of every Army officer's job, something that was reinforced during my subsequent years as a teaching assistant at UCSB.

On a lighter note, it is also thanks to the military that I now refuse to participate in any form of hiking or camping or anything that involves the raw outdoors. Mother Nature and I simply do not get along. And I firmly believe that the term "run for fun" is the ultimate of oxymorons. Eight years of "camping" and running miles at oh-dark-thirty is enough to get such crazy activities out of my system for the rest of my life ;-)

So here I am. No more waking up at the crack of dawn. No more digging my car out of snow on wintry German days. No more pulling my hair up every morning. No more 10-12 hour days. No more 3:30am alert calls and no more overnight staff duty. No more uniforms. No more morning formation. In a way, though, I miss the daily, predictable routine.

It's a world apart from combat boots to scruffy sneakers.

Happy Veteran's Day.

Political Friday Five

It's Friday and with the country still caught up in a post-election euphoria (or dismay if you're amongst the 48% "minority" in California), I thought it appropriate to post an election/politics-themed Friday Five.

Now, you all know me and know that I don't, as a rule, do politics. So the questions below are rather light-hearted in nature, although if any of them spark interesting discussions, that would be cool, too :-) Thanks to Deuce and Allan for being the inspiration behind a couple of the questions. And yes, I realize #5 is a sort of cop-out, but I really do want to hear from you!

Here goes:

1. Where we you when the Tuesday's historic election results were announced?
2. Who did you vote for the first time you were eligible to vote?
3. Do you have any political stances you feel strongly about?
4. What's your favorite (or least favorite) politician quote?
5. Submit your thought-provoking election/politics-related question here. What's on your mind these days? What wacky question would you like to pose?

1. We have no TV (well we have a television but no cable service) in our apartment, so Allan and I spent the evening refreshing our web browsers on various news sites. About the time the polls on the West Coast were closing, though, was Todd's bedtime. I was in the midst of snuggling with the little man, doing our usual nighttime routine, when Allan snuck into the bedroom and whispered "He won". It made me realize just how effective seeing other people (i.e. on TV) affects our own reactions. We saw/heard no cheers of jubilation, so we experienced our own quiet elation in the privacy of our own home.

2. I turned in 18 in 1995, so I wasn't eligible to vote until the 1996 election-- the three-way showdown between Clinton, Dole and Perot. I voted for Clinton.

3. Remember how I once blogged about my sadness at seeing live animals at an Asian supermarket? It got worse once I actually visited an Asian country. I won't go into the details here (save it for another entry-- I know, I'm always saying that!) but you can imagine how awful I felt for the poor trapped live animals. I find the treatment of animals and the blatant disregard for their welfare deplorable, whether it's inhumane farm conditions or neglecting your pets. Just as deplorable is human beings' treatment of other human beings, whether it's outright torture or ignoring the starving masses. It is something I will never understand, something I feel very strongly about, and something that touches my cold cold heart like no other issue. Animal rights and human rights.

4. I don't know of a whole lot of (in)famous politician quotes, but I do remember my favorite from the Simpsons. This is the one where the aliens Kang and Kodos invade earth and take over the bodies of Dole and Clinton during the campaign:

My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom. -- Kodos (as Clinton) gives a speech, "Treehouse of Horror VII"

5. I've supplied #3. 1 and 2 were from Deuce and 4 was from Allan. What's next? :-)

Rich vs Poor in a Third World Country

I logged onto Facebook this morning and was greeted with a slew of friend statuses that reflected today's election: some were neutral and merely encouraging us to go and vote, but many more made their stances clear. The plethora of donated statuses for Obama and No on Prop 8, as well as the proliferation of friends with "Hussein" as their middle name was quite a phenomenon to behold (OK, enough of the "p"s). Me? I cast my vote last week, mailing it in on Thursday. No long lines to deal with today :-D I have voted :-)

Now, everyone knows that to keep things civilized at a gathering, one of the key topics about which to avoid discussion is politics. But as election day drew nearer, it was inevitable no matter where you went. It was interesting to hear everyone's take on why they were voting the way they were. There were a few nutcases out there, but by and large most people stuck to the rational way of doing things: comparing each candidate's policies on various issues and determining whether they agreed with it or not.

Obviously, foremost on everyone's minds right now is the economy. I'm not going to launch a discussion of one candidate's ideas for reform over the other's, but thinking about our economic woes made me think of how other countries are faring. Particularly countries like Indonesia.

One of the most eye-opening experiences during my trip was driving through the streets of Surabaya, one of the largest cities. Like many big cities, it was crowded and polluted. Traffic was insane-- but I could write a whole separate blog entry on that... suffice it to say that there's no point in having traffic laws, as anyone who remotely adheres to them will not survive any length of commute. It was not unusual to see small piles of trash burning on the side of remoter roads. I was surprised to see men sitting along the riverbanks fishing, as I wondered how anything could live in that murky water. Though I've seen my share of dirty and polluted cities in the US, this was different somehow. And I think the difference stemmed largely from the juxtaposition of rich+new with old+poor.

Everywhere I went, I marveled at how shiny new shopping malls could rise into the air and then, literally (and you know that is not a term I use loosely) next to the building would be a dilapidated shack with a weary shopkeeper peddling his goods. Clean and modern buildings surrounded by slum. Every house that was remotely decent was fenced in by iron gates. There was no division of "poor neighborhood" vs. "rich neighborhood", unlike here, where the ghetto tends to be isolated away from 5th Avenue (and vice versa), not interspersed with it. The street dividers and the riverbanks (despite the dirty water) were lined with well-kept trees and plants, yet they were dotted every so often with makeshift homes made out of rusty corrugated metal and clotheslines strung between trees. Some folks weren't even that lucky, and simply slept on the ground.

More heartbreaking still was the sight of beggars by the side of the road. A haggard woman holding her baby in one arm and stretching her other arm out for a few coins (which aren't even worth pennies to us)-- in the middle of the road, not the side, where she's exposed to maximum traffic. A man with crutches and a lame leg, unable to find work anywhere. Saddest of all was a small child not much bigger than Todd, going around from car to car as we were stopped at a red light, hands clasped together in the universal "please" beg, eyes searching hopefully for a heart not yet hardened by years of sights like this. I wanted to cry.

The smallest bill denomination in Indonesia is 1000 Rupiah. Anything smaller than that is in coin form. We shocked our friends/family when we'd roll down the window and give someone a 1000-Rupiah bill. I'm sure the beggars were shocked as well. They are used to getting coins. But the thing is... 1000 Rupiah is worth only 10 cents to us. Can you imagine tossing a beggar in the United States a mere quarter? You'd probably get cussed at. The poor in Indonesia, on the other hand, are so downtrodden, they are exceedingly grateful for anything you might be able to toss their way.

It is no secret that there's a sizable gap between the rich and the poor. But in Indonesia that gap seems infinitely wider. Let's not even talk about rich, the gap between the *middle class* and the poor is nearly incomprehensible at times.

In contrast, our own panhandlers look fat and rich by comparison. Yes, they have it hard, and I don't mean to downplay the plight of the American poor and homeless, but they have so many more resources at their disposal. There are soup kitchens and homeless shelters and government welfare. There are far more well-meaning upper-and-middle-class people with good hearts trying to do something about it-- donating to charity, volunteering their time, doing something other than just driving by and ignoring it. True, these measures are far from perfect, but it's *something*, and it's far more than the homeless in Indonesia could ever imagine.

As I wind this down I get the feeling that none of this will truly come as a surprise to any of you. I am certain you've read similar accounts elsewhere about other countries. I have, too, in years past. But there's nothing quite like seeing it up front to really drive home the disparity between rich and poor in a country where the government doesn't have its people's best interests at heart. There's nothing quite like seeing it vividly in front of you to break your heart and make you truly appreciate all you have. For all the moaning we do about things going downhill in our (modern, developed, Western civilized) countries, we have a lot to be grateful for. And I hope that my heart will never cease to break at sad plights like the ones I've seen (and I know I haven't seen the worst of it!), and I hope yours never will, either.

Happy Halloween (and Friday Five)

Wow, October's almost over. This year has flown by fast. I'm sitting at my desk wearing a puffy orange jacket with Allan's orange tank top over it. On the tank top are black pieces of paper cut out in the shape of a jack-o-lantern, complete with a π-symbol nose and a headband with stem and leaves... and "3.14159" written on each leaf. Yup, I decided to go with my Pumpkin Pi(e) costume. Allan donned the gifts I brought him from Indonesia-- Hawaiian shirt and long sarong, even his new wallet matches! It was hilarious to see him shuffle along, unable to take the long strides he normally does due to the confines of the wrapped sarong :-D

Pictures forthcoming-- check back for updates!
EDIT: As usual, I'm way too lazy to crop and edit and upload a photo, but I've posted them (at long last!) to Myspace and Facebook. I think all of my readers have an account on one or the other (or both), so you should be able to view the pics there :-)

In the meantime, here's today's Halloween-themed Friday Five:

1. What is your favorite scary movie?
2. What is your favorite Halloween treat?
3. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events?
4. How did you celebrate this time of year when you were a child?
5. How about now/this year?

1. I don't, as a rule, like horror films, but I did enjoy "The Ring". And if they count, all those "Scary Movie" spoofs were pretty funny!

2. Tootsie Rolls!

3. Not really. See #1. I don't really like having my heart leap out of its chest... in a situation I knowingly placed myself in! I leave those for the brave of heart :)

4. My mom would make me a costume (or I'd whip one together based on my own weird imagination-- one time I dressed up as a "clown magician"-- I wore a starry cape, put red circles on my cheeks and nose with my mom's lipstick, and carried around a magic wand and a mini pumpkin) and I'd go trick-or-treating with my friends around the neighborhood. Pretty simple, pretty standard :-)

5. Let's see-- Todd gets a harvest party at school today, Allan and I are simply wearing our costumes to work (I hear there's candy around here!) and our apartment complex is holding a Halloween pizza party this evening, where all 3 of us will go, have fun, and return home in time to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. And then... we feast on our candy goodies :-9

How about you?

Costume Suggestions

Friday is Halloween. Perfect opportunity for Allan to dress up in the Hawaiian shirt and sarong I got him from Indonesia. Yup-- gettin' my man to wear a skirt ;-) Anyway-- I still need to come up with something for myself. Something simple, something I can create from my ordinary wardrobe. I don't believe in the concept of shelling out dough for a whole getup I can only wear one time during the year, and not even every year at that.

But I need ideas. A few years ago I took a cue from Denzel Washington's character in Philadelphia and wore my suit with paper printouts of a law taped all over it-- I was a "lawsuit". Something along those lines is what I'm going for again this year.

I came across a website with some tongue-in-cheek suggestions. I've culled some of my favorites:

# CD Burner
Just tie a computer CD around your neck and carry a lighter. When someone asks what you are, hold the lighter up to the CD.

# Snackbar
Attach open bags of snacks to you (chips, pretzels, cheese puffs, nuts, etc.). Your friends will love it! They will be snacking on you all night long.

# Stick in the Mud
Wear all brown and attach a stick to your chest.

# Web Pages
Glue pages from a book onto a black sweatshirt and sweatpants. Add spider webbing to your hair. Voila! Instant internet!
(very similar to the lawsuit idea, not bad)

# Nerd
Attach Nerd candy boxes all over yourself.
(two birds with one stone-- I could then take the unopened boxes off and give them away to the Trick-or-Treaters that night)

# Generic Costume
Wear all white. Draw a large UPC code on your chest and write "COSTUME" above it.

# Pumpkin Pi(e)
Cut a pumpkin shape out of orange construction paper. Write the number 3.1415926 on it. Attach it to your shirt.
(this has a geeky aspect I know many of my co-workers will appreciate)

# Ceiling Fan
Write "Go Ceilings!" on the front of your shirt. Add other gear if you want (pom poms, big foam finger, etc.) And don't forget to cheer!

# Static Cling
Wear any kind of mismatched clothes, pin one pant leg up, pin dryer sheets on you as well as socks, small towels, etc., and then use hair gel to make your hair look like it has static.

All else fails, the lawsuit is a good fallback I can always use. What did you like? Do you have any suggestions?

Home at last-- a brief recap

Whew! Back online after 2 weeks away from the computer. Had about 170 personal and 250 work emails to sift through this morning, not to mention a flurry of blog activity to catch up on. But first, I thought I'd give a quick summary of my trip. There's so much to tell about various other aspects of the trip, I think I'll save them for separate, individual entries.

We left the house at about 9pm Sunday, Oct 12, and our flight took off on time at 1:40am on Monday, Oct 13. We used Eva Air, a Taiwan-based airline-- and it was NICE. Even in economy class, where we sat, the seats were wider than usual and there was plenty of legroom. Most big aircraft designed for flying overseas have video screens built into the seat back in front of you, with various programs to watch-- but Eva had video/TV on demand-- you could pick what you wanted to watch whenever you wanted to watch it, and even pause, rewind and fast-forward as you pleased! The 14-hour flight to Taiwan was made more bearable by the fact that it was me and my parents sharing the row of 3 seats. No worries about shoving Dad aside for more elbow room, or accidentally kicking Mom while shifting positions :-D

We had a 12-hour layover in Taiwan, where we partook of one of their free day tours specifically designed for people with long layovers there. This was the first time I'd ever seen an Asian city, and the sights and sounds were definitely different from what I was used to-- even the streets of various Chinatowns in North America (LA, San Francisco, Vancouver) were distinctly different. More on that later.

Another 5-hour flight later, we touched down in Indonesia at around 10pm Tuesday night, were picked up by various family members, and settled down in our hotel room at the Sheraton, which happened to be located right next to one of Surabaya's newest and glitziest shopping centers-- a 6-story mall with 3 wings, rivaling the Mall of America in size!

The following week was a whirlwind of activity: shopping and meeting various people. Since the main purpose of the trip was to see family members that a) I had never met and b) my parents hadn't seen in years, we spent most of it seeing various aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces. I met my grandparents (Dad's parents) for the first time, my parents' siblings, and a handful of cousins, some with little kids of their own. Every day, it seemed, I met someone new. It wasn't long before I lost track of who was whom if they weren't within the core circle of direct family (aunts, uncles and first cousins)-- and even then, what a large circle it was! The culmination of these reunions was a big party on Sunday, Oct 19-- with most of my dad's extended family plus several friends he hadn't seen in so long, either. There must have been at least 90+ of us that descended on one restaurant :-)

We departed Surabaya at 11pm on Tuesday, Oct 21, had another 12-hour layover in Taiwan where we did some sightseeing on our own, and arrived safe and sound in LA on Wednesday afternoon. Thankfully the tail wind drove down the previous 14-hour-trip to only 11 hours. I spent the next couple days at my parents' house, recuperating, unpacking and cleaning up, before returning to Santa Barbara on Saturday afternoon.

While in Indonesia, my mom's brother lent us his driver and car for the week, so we were pretty mobile. The driver was also really cool about driving us around the city and showing us the sights, particularly the places where my mom and where my dad used to live. So a lot of my sightseeing was done from inside a nicely-insulated, air-conditioned, moving vehicle. As a result, I don't have very many pictures-- most of the pics we did take were of friends and family members-- again, this was primarily a family reunion trip, not a sightseeing trip. We hope to go again sometime soon in the future, and this time I'll bring along Todd and Allan, and hope to get some more proper pictures taken.

In the meantime, I jotted down lots of notes about the things I DID see, even from the car-- like the huge 2-story McDonaldses, the unique bathrooms/toilets, the crazy traffic, and the juxtaposition of rich+new with poor+old along the city streets. I hope to blog about them later-- and maybe, hopefully, paint some pictures with my words to make up for the lack of actual photographs. Hope you have an active imagination to picture the coming stories! :-)

Off for 2 weeks

As many of you know, late Sunday night my parents and I will be flying out of LAX and heading toward Indonesia to spend several days visiting my grandparents (my dad's parents) and other relatives I've never seen before. It's going to be interesting-- 14 hour flight (taking off at 1:30 in the morning), 12-hour layover in Taiwan, and then another several hours' flight to Indonesia.

I'm looking forward to it! I've never been to Asia before-- the longest haul trip I've ever made has been to Europe. And I've only recently tried Indonesian food-- my parents took me to an Indonesian restaurant in LA a few weeks ago, so I could get a taste for what it was like, and mmmmmm... delicious!

Couple weeks ago I scrambled to get all my vaccinations up to date. That was an adventure all on its own :-P All that remains (besides the obvious cleaning up and packing) is to get some insect repellent. Mosquitoes? Which fly rampant in the hot and humid climate? Not something I'm looking forward too :-P I've also got my anti-malarial medication onhand. It also serves as a general-purpose antibiotic, which might come in handy to ward off any bugs I might catch along the way. Recycled airplane cabin air = yucky!

We return on the evening of Wednesday, the 22nd. Given a day or two to get over jet lag, I should be back and ready to go by the following weekend. In other words, I'll be offline, and I mean completely offline, for the next 2 weeks. Let's see what withdrawals symptoms I undergo!

Wish us a safe and uneventful flight/trip. And wish Allan lots of luck and support as he takes on the next 2 weeks, playing "single dad" all by himself :-D See you in a couple weeks!

Service woes

Grrrr... Helly = in full rant mode today. But I feel it's best if I keep this in a private entry, so I'm blogging it on Myspace as a friends-only entry. Feel free to add me if I know you :-)

Have a gander:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=28049135&blogID=438097188

(Warning: it's a doozy! I didn't realize how long it was till I posted it. Have patience! :-) )

Moving reunions

Do you ever see those scenes in movies where two loved ones are reunited after a long separation? Those scenes tend to be full of emotion and usually a swell of heartfelt background music crescendos as the long-lost parties meet and embrace. Especially when the reunion is a surprise to at least one of them. Then you get the full treat of their reactions.

Well, I'm not much of a sucker for such scenes. Sure, they are pleasant enough, and if they tie in with a happy ending to the movie, so much the better. I like happy endings, after all. But shedding a tear? From hard-hearted Helly? Not likely.

Unless it's in real life. And you know the parties involved. Let me backtrack.

Since about the beginning of the year, a man (I'll call "B") joined our church's congregation (mind you, this was well before we ever joined). He is a Fulbright scholar, here from Kenya to get a graduate degree at UCSB. His first quarter here was understandably difficult. New country, new school, new surroundings, and far away from his loved ones. Harder still was the fact that his children were grown and leading lives of their own, leaving his wife alone at home in Kenya. Then he stumbled upon our church, and was welcomed with loving arms. Although things got better for him, it was clear how much he still missed his family. Wouldn't you, in his shoes?

Cue to last Sunday. B was invited on stage to casually teach us some elementary verses from worship songs in Swahili. It was a lot of fun, and we got some good giggles at most everyone's inability to pronounce some of the more complicated words. Then our pastor gave us a bit of background info on B, explaining how he came to the US and what his current situation was. He emphasized how important it was that B's wife should be here with her husband, and asked the ushers to take up another collection of donations to help fly his wife in from Kenya.

But before they could get the collection plates out, our pastor put his arm on B's shoulder, looked at him solemnly (but with a twinkle in his eye), and confessed: "I haven't been completely honest with you. I'm afraid I've been a bit deceitful" You could practically HEAR everyone leaning forward in their seats wondering what would happen next.

And then he dropped this bombshell:

"Your wife isn't actually in Kenya", while pointing to the entrance in the back. In unison, our heads turned around to see the doors open and... B's wife step in!

Although there was no music, I'm sure many of us heard it in our heads as B stepped down from the pulpit and his wife made his way up the aisle. The two met in the middle and embraced. The look of sheer surprise, shock and joy on B's face was a wonder to behold. I can only imagine what went through his head as he saw his wife for the first time in almost a year, and so unexpectedly! We all rose to our feet and thundered applause as they repeatedly embraced and B kept stepping back to look at his wife in wonder, as if he were thinking "Is this for real!?"

It was a sweet moment to savor. And it brought a tear to my eye. Very little in life does that to me. And I think it's safe to say I got to witness a moment I won't easily forget. Have you hugged your loved ones lately?

Pigs might fly

I just looked out the window and saw a winged pig fly by. Then I looked up the current weather report for Hell, and it was a bone-chilling 20 below zero.

Never thought I'd rue the day. But... Allan has blogged!

...

Yep, you heard me right. I'll just let that little bit of amazement sink in.

Still there? Good. And just to promote this rare occasion, I just HAD to pimp his blog on my own. Read on, and leave a comment to make him feel loved:

Washer and dryer-- and a little quiz!

:-D

Friday Five -- Randomosity and a little rant

1. Who lets you have your way more than you should?
2. According to the cliche, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but what’s the way to yours?
3. What’s something that should have been put away but hasn’t been?
4. When did you last weigh yourself?
5. What do the cops in the donut shop say? :D

BONUS: Apparently it's that time of year again (that talk like a pirate stuff). Do you follow it?

1. I'm pretty spoiled :-) I would say: my parents when I was younger, and my hubby today :-D

2. Stomach works, too. Helly's all for good food. But topping the list even above food is sleep/rest. So... the way to my heart is through my... pillow?

3. The dishes! And Todd's clothes. It's amazing how much havoc one tiny little kid can wreak. He's like the Tasmanian Devil-- always a whirlwind that leaves messes in his wake. Times like this I fail to understand how people can willingly have more than ONE child, especially when the first child is a boy!!

4. At our Tech Retreat 2 weeks ago. I was showering in the hotel's gym after spending all day soaking in the jacuzzi. I was quite a few pounds heavier than I normally am, which is no surprise-- the exercise I've been able to get at our new apartment, has been building muscle!

5. "I hope nobody catches us here, or else we'll end up the butt of someone's joke... or worse yet, the object of a silly Friday Five questionnaire!"

BONUS: That would be a resounding HELL NO!! I think whoever invented it needs to be skinned alive. Or subjected to whatever tortures real pirates used to dole out back in the day-- see how much they love and glorify pirates after that! I can't stand this mockery of a "holiday". It amazes me how one parodic idea can have such a cult following and turn hordes of people into blubbering, annoying idiots at the drop of a hat (or the stroke of midnight?). I mean, seriously? Who thinks saying "yarrrr" and "shiver me timbers" all freakin' day is cool or something other people want to hear? Grates on the nerves, it does...

I love my bank

Because of my military service, my spouse, my offspring and I are all eligible to be members of USAA (which originally started as an automobile insurance company for U.S. servicemembers, and has since branched out to offer other insurance, as well as banking and investment services). We get unbeatable rates on our car insurance, and great perks when it comes to banking. We also get discounts on various shopping needs, most notably, car rentals. Unlike a lot of places, their customer service is above par. Not for nothing do they frequently make the top of Consumer Reports' "best customer service" lists.

Anyway...

Today I received an automated phone call from their fraud prevention department, questioning a $600+ charge placed on our credit card, to some computer game store in Arizona. Of course we never made such a purchase. When I spoke to a live security rep, she informed me that it was an actual swiped transaction, meaning someone hadn't just entered our numbers into an online purchase-- they actually got the card info and MADE a fake credit card for an actual, physical transaction at an actual, physical store. They quickly deactivated the card, told us to cut ours up so we could expect new ones in the mail next week. I was a little disappointed to learn that they wouldn't notify us of progress in the fraud investigation, I was curious to know how it would turn out. But that's just me and my morbid curiosity :-)

What impressed me was the speed with which we were contacted when the transaction took place and alerted suspicion. I wonder what exactly about the transaction raised a red flag in the first place. Maybe the fact the last time I used this card was just 2 days ago, and now a new charge was taking place 500 miles away? Or the fact that we don't routinely place huge charges on the card, so $600+ was a big leap?

No matter-- I'm glad they did. The charge could've gone unnoticed for several days if they hadn't called. I'm usually pretty vigilant over verifying each of our banking transactions, but I don't check our accounts every single day. I'm also pretty diligent about obtaining and scrutinizing my free credit report, one from each agency spread out over 3 times a year. Note to my American friends: if you aren't already taking advantage of this free service, you should!

I hope they eventually nail whoever did this, and make them pay! I feel sorry for whoever has to eat the loss. Either the computer store or USAA. And ultimately, I find it ironic that as much as I use my credit card and bank online, the FIRST time my card is used fraudulently (and wasn't physically stolen) was with a "spoofed" card in a physical, offline transaction.

I also have an amusing (unrelated) story about a snail-mail phishing scam (yes, you read that right: SNAIL mail), but that's for another entry...

At least you keep your tibia

Had a meeting yesterday in one of our other buildings. As the time approached, I looked up the building floorplan on our intranet to figure out where the conference room was. But what immediately captured my attention was the location of the kitchen, for it had a huge read heart with a lightning zap going through it.

Broken heart? I mused. This must not be the place to go if you don't want your relationships doomed.

So I hovered my mouse over the heart symbol, and sure enough, a description popped up. This is what it said:



Okay, I've heard of a defibrillator, but what is a defibulator? The first thing that sprang to mind was some sort of gruesome device that removes your fibula. Be grateful that it at least spares you your tibia? Or maybe it's not a device but some sort of cyborg/android dude much like the Terminator. *in heavy accent* "I am the Defibulator. Say good bye to your leg bone. I'll be back!"

Yes. I know I am easily amused :-P Don't tell me that at least half of you didn't find it funny, too, and conjure up your own images of what a "defibulator" could possibly be!

Sleeping separately

I read an interesting article on CNN today, called "We're married, sleeping separately". Here's the link-- have a gander:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/09/12/lw.sleep.alone.when.married/index.html

The article piqued my interest because that's the exact arrangement Allan and I have now. It inadvertently started when Todd began living with us full time, and the lack of space forced Todd to share the queen-sized bed with Allan while I slept on the futon in the living room. It's the primary reason that we selected a memory foam mattress for our futon-- it gets more use as a bed than as a sofa.

When Todd returned to LA at the beginning of the summer, we realized that sleeping together was tougher than we anticipated, for a myriad of reasons:

1. (the paramount reason) I'm a sensitive sleeper. I wouldn't say I'm a light sleeper, exactly, but I am more sensitive to movements, light and noise that are more likely to awaken me than your average person.

2. Allan moves around fairly violently in his sleep, shaking the bed enough to wake me sometimes.

3. Allan doesn't snore often, but when he does, it's LOUD. Again, see #1.

4. Allan tends to be an earlier riser than me. Not because he goes to bed earlier-- we usually conk out at the same time, but because he gets by on less sleep than I do. Now combine all the elements I described in #1 (light, movement, noise) and you'll see they're all prevalent when he gets up before I do.

Sleeping in separate beds solved all of the above. AND it allowed us to set our own sleep schedules.

So I can definitely relate to all the couples interviewed in that article. I disagree with what one psychologist says, about warning that sleeping separately spells trouble in a marriage: "My feeling is that sleeping together is a very, very important part of being integrated with each other." Not necessarily. Couples do many things together and a few things on their own. So long as the latter doesn't outnumber the former, then sleeping can be one of those "separate" things-- as long as most everything else is done together. And even then, a little "alone" time now and then is healthy, and, I believe, vital.

Look at it: eating, talking, watching TV, going out-- I'm sorry, but those activities are far more likely to bring you closer together and "integrated" with each other, because you're actively involved. Sleeping? As one guy in the article pointed out, when you're asleep, you don't know there's anyone there, anyway!!

I'm reminded of an episode of "King of Queens", where Doug and Carrie have to sleep in separate twin beds while their larger bed is being repaired. Enthralled with their newfound "freedom", they start doing everything separately, to the point of planning out separate vacations. Now THAT is going too far. But that also has nothing to do with sleeping together-- what's the use of sharing the same bed if Doug is going to Ohio while Carrie goes to Florida, for summer vacation? In that case, the sleep arrangements are just one more symptom of a deeper underlying problem.

For us, sleeping separately has far more benefits than disadvantages, we're happy with the arrangement, and do practically everything else as a couple. So poo-poo to those who think there's something wrong with it. It works for us, and we couldn't be happier... or healthier!

Summer vacation is over

Wow, what a busy several days it's been. And it promises to be another busy week, now that Todd's back with us full-time :-) Summer vacation is over! But at least it ended with a bang :-)

So, I left off my last blog post anticipating our work's annual Tech Retreat, in which the entire engineering department (nearly 200 people) goes somewhere overnight to blow off some steam.

This year, we headed up to Pismo Beach (about 1.5 hours north) to partake of some team-building exercises reminiscent of "Amazing Race" (anyone ever see that TV show?). Essentially, we were split into about 17 teams of around 8-10 people each, and given 5 hours to complete 7 missions. A bit of strategizing was required to ensure we completed them all successfully within the allotted time.

Our missions? Involved a variety of talents. Building sand castles and taking photographs took some creative skills. The four-person bicycle relay race and kayaking required physical strength. Throwing frisbees through small targets entailed a bit of hand-eye coordination. Finding the answers to the quiz made us put our thinking caps on. And eating oyster shooters? That took a bit of nerve-- and stomach (and for me, dousing my fresh, raw oyster in plenty of sauce)!

Our team did reasonably well. We came in 2nd place for fastest time to finish the 4-person-bike race, and we won the sand-castle building competition, hands-down! Not only was our creation the longest, but it was the most fantastical-- instead of creating an actual structure, our "castle" evolved into a beached dragon (sea monster?) complete with stone eyeball and teeth!

We wound down the evening by heading off to our hotel rooms (we stayed at the Cliffs Resort, a boutique hotel) for some serious scrubbing down. That's when I discovered my face was quite sunburnt! We enjoyed dinner and casino night (fake money, of course). I didn't play, but I did have fun wandering from table to table, watching everyone else play.

Next morning, I realized just how physically exhausting the previous day had been, running around the beach all day. I was so stiff and sore I decided to skip what Allan and I had originally planned for Friday-- a trip to Hearst Castle. Which is too bad, since I'd never been there before, and it was a free trip, but I would never have survived all that walking and stair-climbing the tour would've entailed. Instead, Allan went by himself and I slept in till checkout time, and then just hung out by the pool, spending quite a bit of time soothing my aching muscles in the jacuzzi. I think if I didn't have to drive to LA that same night, I might've chanced the Hearst Castle tour and just spent the weekend recuperating.

Anyway... picked up Todd and brought him back Saturday night. Sunday we had a barbecue on the beach (no! not more SAND!) for Todd's school, where Todd met one of his classmates and proceeded to have a blast playing with his new friend in the sand and on the playground. We got to chat with the boy's parents, and got along pretty well.

And then... drumroll... Todd's first day at school today! He looked adorable in his uniform. Although after dropping him off this morning, I realized he was the only boy wearing a white polo shirt-- all the other boys (and most of the girls) wore burgundy. Yes, I was the silly mother who decided it would be a good idea to stock her rambunctious little boy's closet with half burgundy shirts, and half white shirts-- where inevitable stains show much better! D'oh! Well, when it comes time to buy bigger shirts for him, I will do it the right way then :-P

There are only 6 kids in Todd's class, 3 boys and 3 girls. Good mix, methinks. And it turns out that although he is the youngest in his class, he is also the tallest. How's that for a combination? At least he won't be intimidated by any of his classmates ;-)

Ok... one more hour till we go pick him up, find out how he did on his first day, have lunch, and drop him off at after-school care for the rest of the afternoon. And so another busy week begins...

Week's recap

Wow... busy week behind us, busy week ahead of us. Thought I'd recap it now before the weekend's over. Seems strange to be thinking of the weekend already when it's barely Wednesday, but in a moment you'll see why.

Friday night was an impromptu game night at John Paul and Leah's house-- pretty much our last kid-free opportunity to do so. Saturday night, joint birthday celebration for Davey and Matt. Sunday, instead of heading out to our usual restaurant after services, we hit Davey and Cherise's place for homemade breakfast = fundraiser for their mission trip to the orphanage in South Africa.

Enjoyed Monday's holiday off. I slept :-) Allan went by himself to see "Tropic Thunder" with our friends. Apparently I didn't miss much.

Tuesday: first day of school. Todd won't start till next week (more on why in a bit), but last night we had dinner with the other Kindergarten parents, kids, headmaster and deacon of Todd's new school. It was nice to get to meet everyone. Todd's class will be small-- there's only 6 of them in grade K, 3 boys and 3 girls.

Wednesday: tonight we're having part 1 of our church's "Four Course Connection"-- basically, every week a group of 8-10 of us gather in someone's home, bringing part of a meal course. This is the first week, so it's appetizers/finger foods. We're going with the classic sliced tomatoes+mozzarella, drizzled in olive oil and sprinkled with fresh basil and ground pepper.

Tomorrow morning we head out to our work's Tech Retreat. We'll stay at Pismo Beach, where Thursday will consist of team-building activities, and Friday is choose your own activity (kayaking, Hearst Castle, wine tasting, or Hummers on the dunes). We chose to tour Hearst Castle. I'm not much for wine, I don't do adventure sports, I hate sand, and I've already driven a REAL Hummer. Besides, I haven't seen Hearst Castle :-) Anyway, since we're out of town Thursday and Friday, we decided to keep Todd in LA an extra week, which is why he's starting school a bit later.

Friday evening we get home and after a brief rest for dinner, I gotta head to LA to pick up little man and bring him back Saturday evening. Sunday afternoon is the school's welcome-back barbecue at the beach, and then Monday morning our summer vacation is over. We settle back into the family routine of work, school and child care.

So... no Friday Five this week. Which is a bummer because it's Jenna's birthday then (Happy Birthday!) and it'd be a perfect time to do a birthday-themed Friday Five. Probably no blogging until a week from now, as each day will be jam-packed with activity until then. Maybe I can do a belated "Friday Five" next week ;-)

Till then!

Urban Dictionary

Swiped from Scot's blog. A little risque, yes, but all in good fun :-)

Instructions: Go to urbandictionary. com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the FIRST definition it gives you...

Of course, knowing me, I like to bend the rules a little, and so am going to ignore that last bit about giving the FIRST definition, and instead choose the one that happens to tickle my fancy the most :-)

1) Your name?
Helly: "Whiny, pre-pubescent little punk"

2) Your age?
31: "knicknamed 31 for the term reggie miller bud...known for giving headaches, body pains and sleeping disorders..." Question: what the heck is a "knickname"? ;-)

3) One of your friends?
Ingrid: "Verb: - To do something that make you a slacker. Noun: - A slacker in its purest form." I think she'd laugh extra hard at this ;-)

4) What should you be doing?
Napping: "see Heaven zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" Ah yes... heaven, indeed :-)

5) Favorite color?
Orange: "The colour which vain assholes turn after a session in the tanning salon; Often confused with Hepatitis." Ewwwwww!!!

6) Hometown?
Sylmar: "Most ghetto place on earth. Home to the most rapists and criminals in all of California. Second in white trash only to Riverside. Known for many homosexual residents." This made me laugh extra hard!

7) Month of your birthday?
May: "The last name of the guitarist for Queen." I thought Allan might appreciate that one ;-)

8) Last person you talked to? Allan
I honestly couldn't decide which definition was funnier, so I am posting both:
-- "A guy who is always charming people to get out of trouble. Usually very fliratious with the females but deep down just wants a stable relationship with a chill girl. Very goodlooking and quick witted. "
-- "An unusually large fellow who represents homosexuality and an odd affection for wild animals. One allan might often lie or gather belongings so called "cool" to gain popularity yet still loathed by the public."

9) Where are you right now?
Santa Barbara: "Sounds like paradise but only if your visiting... trust me it gets boring after a while." Hehehe-- not quite true, but it IS a small city compared to what I'm used to.

10) Your nickname?
Well, typing in "Helly Belly" didn't yield anything, so I'm just gonna go with:
Belly: "Nickname for a fat guy. What you fill up when eating or drinking. What you get if overeating. "

Friday Five (sticky stuff)

1. What was the last song that stuck in your brain and wouldn’t go away?
2. What’s something that sticks around long after you wish it would leave?
3. To what use did you put your last sticky note?
4. When did you last have Pixy Stix?
5. What is something you are a stickler for?

1. This one I'm blaming Allan for: "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life", from the very end of Life of Brian. Which we watched... a WEEK ago :-P Fortunately, I got my revenge-- you know how the current Target commercials feature "Hello Hello" by the Beatles? I've been singing THAT all week, and now it's stuck in Allan's head :-D

2. Bugs! They multiply! Um, really, the only thing that comes to mind right now is stains-- either in clothing or in the kitchen. Water stains are the worst, but God bless the inventor of the chemical solution from which products like Lime-Away and CLR are based :-)

3. I can't quite remember-- either a note left for Allan on his desk when he was away while I dropped by, or a reminder note atop Todd's school paperwork, to remind me to throw in a copy of his birth certificate.

4. Mmmmm.... Pixy Stix! Way too long. Probably 2 Halloweens ago? I love Pixy Stix. I know they are nothing but sugar and some color, but that's the best kind of candy for me-- pure sugar. I used to munch on sugar cubes at Amgen before they replaced them with canisters of pourable, granular sugar. I still enjoy eating a packet of sugar in restaurants for "dessert". And my favorite bona fide candies consist of those which are made from little more than sugar and color-- Smarties (aka Rockets for the Canadians/Brits(?)), "chalk" candy, Fun Dips, Runts, etc...

5. LOL-- let's see if I can answer this question without using the words "Excel" or "spreadsheet" ;-) I'm sure that's the answer that instantly came to mind for most of you :-P I'm a bit of a stickler for hand-washing. I'm mildly obsessive about this. If I go more than a few hours without washing my hands, they start feeling sticky and grimy, which gives me the heebie jeebies. I'm also a stickler for making sure Todd washes his hands frequently, but that's mostly because he's a toddler and, well, toddlers always make messes and put things in their mouths (yeccchh).
By the way, I just realized how incongruous it sounds to refer to Todd as a toddler when he's starting kindergarten in a week, which makes me wonder-- how old is "too old" to be considered a toddler anymore?

So that's my Friday Five. How about you?

Kids are still expensive (and I hate thieves)

A continuation of my initial observations on my Myspace blog:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=28049135&blogID=414124108

I just sent off an order for school uniforms. Spent $80 so far (and I still haven't gotten the complete ensemble-- still need jacket, socks, shoes...), whittled down from $120 by searching for other merchants and hunting for coupons (free shipping is not small beans!). And then just wait-- he'll sprout a couple inches and I'll have to do the shopping all over again next year :-P

We'll drop by his new school this week to turn in some paperwork and part with a check that includes not only tuition but the initial enrollment fee. Of $200.

Guess I'll have to wait a little longer till I get that washing machine :-)

Fortunately, our apartment complex has laundry rooms residents can use. UNfortunately, they're good old-fashioned coin-op (vs. the more convenient laundry debit card we used to use). And no, they don't take Canadian quarters. I tried :-)

On another note, remember how I used to rant about the food thieves?

The first offense: a mini rant.

I'm not the only victim! And my friends come up with some nasty solutions.

And finally: thievery isn't limited to fridges.

The thieves strike at work again. No, not food this time. A bit of background: our company provides us free fruit. They restock every week: apples, oranges, bananas, strawberries and grapes. I like cutting apples into slices, or cleaning off strawberries with a knife-- you know, cutting off the tops, and slicing away bruised parts. I've taken to keeping a paring knife in one of the kitchen drawers, amongst other utensils like company-owned knives, ice cream scoops, etc... I made sure to write my name on the handle-- clearly, and in permanent marker. All is hunky-dory for the next several months. And then. Last week. I opened up the drawer and it was GONE.

Now, I get that people sometimes borrow kitchen utensils and use them in other conference rooms (i.e. where food is served). And that's cool. But borrowing it implies returning it at some point, does it not? Especially when someone's name is clearly written on it, thus further cementing the notion of ownership. So I waited a week. Today I looked again. Still no dice. So this time I left a polite note asking for its return. I hope it works. Only time will tell if the knife reappears. We'll see...

Dinner, a movie and an interesting visitor

As mentioned in my previous Friday Five post, last night we invited 2 couples from church over to our new apartment for dinner and a movie. The movie was "Life of Brian", which caused quite a stir when it was first released in 1979. You know how it goes-- the religious right decried it as an affront to their faith, and its loudest opponents were those who hadn't even SEEN it. Typical misinterpretation and narrow-mindedness. What the movie DID do, however, was raise critical thinking about blind faith and about how the central tenets of true faith (specifically, Judaism (e.g. the Pharisees and Sadducees) and Christianity (e.g. the many denominations)) were splintered because of human (mis)interpretation. We got into a discussion of the movie during one of our small group sessions, and some, who had seen documentaries about it, expressed interest in actually seeing the movie.

So, we set a date for Friday. Allan made corned beef in the slow cooker and whipped up some tasty risotto. One friend brought brownies. We were set with both wine and sparkling cider. But before we could even serve ourselves food, an unexpected visitor dropped by. A man I'd never seen in my life came up the stairs looking for "John Smith".

When I explained that not only was there no John Smith here, but we HAD indeed been receiving a lot of his mail, the guy got a worried look on his face and handed me his business card. By now Allan and our friends had gotten curious, and peeked over my shoulder to read the card. A chorus of "Oooh"s ensued. Why? Because this guy was a U.S. probation officer, apparently assigned to John. So while Allan got the food ready, I spoke with the probation officer about what kind of mail we'd been getting for John Smith, how long we'd been here, and if we'd received any strangers coming by (like him, LOL). I also explained that all the mail we'd been receiving for John was obviously forwarded by the post office, because every letter (mostly bank statements) was addressed to his former residence, and had a sticker with our address affixed over it. So it was clear that this guy gave the post office and his probation officer a bogus address. Was he in the wind? Must have been, because when the officer left, he sighed wearily and said "Looks like I have more work to do tonight".

We had a good laugh over it. It figures that the first time we invite our friends (whom we'd newly met in the past few months) over, someone from the U.S. District Court comes by for a visit! What kind of shady dealings must they think we're involved in! ;-)

Anyway, we proceeded to have a nice dinner and settled down to watch the movie.

Now, let me begin by saying that I absolutely abhor Monty Python. I do not find them remotely funny in the least. I guess they are like marmite/vegemite-- you either love it or you hate it, there IS no in-between. So it was with some trepidation that I sat and watched it. To my surprise, I found it rather decent. I'm sure a large part of it was, as Jenna pointed out, the fact that we were watching it with good company. It provided some good food for thought as well as raucous laughter. So while I personally still wouldn't go out and spend $20 on it, it's worth seeing if you ever want to get together with friends and rent it one night.

All in all, it made for an interesting and entertaining visit. Good food, good company, good movie... and a surprise visitor to spice things up! Good stuff :-)

Friday Five (money)

Current Mood: Excited, because we're "breaking" in the new pad tonight by inviting some friends (2 other couples) over for dinner and a viewing of "Life of Brian". I'm not much for Monty-Python-esque humor, but this movie sounds interesting! Anyone else seen it?

On to the questions...

1. Did you get an allowance as a kid, and if so, how much was it?
2. How old were you when you had your first job, and what was it?
3. Which do you do better: save money or spend money?
4. Are people more likely to borrow money from you, or are you more likely to borrow from them?
5. What's the most expensive thing you've ever bought?

1. Not really, no. It was pointless to because I couldn't do anything with it, anyway. If I wanted to buy something, I would need to ask my parents to drive me to the store, in which case it was easier just to ask them for it right then and there.

2. Well, I got paid for being an ROTC cadet when I started college, does my stipend of a couple hundred bucks a month count? If not, then I was 20 when I got my first job-- active duty service in the military!

3. Save. I like watching the numbers grow in our accounts :-) Gives incredible peace of mind that (fleeting) material objects just do not. Even when I spend I try to save-- by getting the most value for my money.

4. Neither, actually. I mean, I have student loans to pay off, but I do not consider the federal government a "friend" ;-)

5. Hmmm... I'd have to say: my car :-) Oh! You meant something not quite on that scale? Then probably my laptop-- and it cost a pretty penny only because I was doing my graphics-intensive thesis research on it, and needed a high-end graphics card. The laptop is 4 years old now and still running in tip-top condition. For a joint purchase, one of our most expensive items was our memory-foam mattress, but even then we got an excellent deal on it because a) it wasn't the Tempurpedic brand and b) we bought it from a warehouse-type shop that didn't have the overhead of maintaining a fancy showroom, thus passing the savings on to us. Next up: saving for a washer & dryer!

How about you?

How Many of Me?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 1 or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

A little bit of fun. Went to the website and typed in my first and last names. Apparently I'm the only one in the United States with that name. I guess, when my mom set out to name me something that I wouldn't share with dozens of other girls, she picked a good one! I've met plenty of Kellys, Helens, Hollys, and even Hallies (and derivations thereof) but never an outright "Helly".

And... there are 195 "Todd Knight"s and 56 "Allan Knight"s in the world. We were a little surprised to see Allan's name with such a low number, but then again, I guess the double-L spelling isn't too common in the US.

There are 177 men named like Allan's dad, and 38 women like his mom. I didn't even bother with my own parents ;-P

Then I went a little nuts and tried out a few of my friends' names (full and given, as the site doesn't take into account short forms)-- y'all have some surprisingly unique names! Even if you have a common first name, the combination with a less common last name brings your numbers down.

Except for one...
Hey, Lisa? When you go back to using your maiden name, you will join company with 6,665 other women-- and that's just in the US alone ;-)

Friday Five - random questions

1. Whats harder to live without, chocolate or alchohol?
2. Does the colour yellow remind you of anything?
3. Who most annoyed you last week?
4. Do you have a cutesy romantic nickname for your partner (or previous partners)?
5. What is your favourite Stephen King movie?

1. Oh, chocolate, hands-down. Of course, my more astute readers will note that my favorite mixed drink has often been likened to "chocolate milk"...

2. It makes me think of 1950s pinafores and yellow roses. But one thing that immediately springs to mind is the old song (which I learned as a marching cadence), "Around her neck she wore a yellow ribbon..."

3. Silly question-- does anyone really annoy me more than my husband? ;-) Just teasin'! Hmm... nobody in particular comes to mind. Does computer code count?

4. We call each other "sweetie" so often that it sounds strange when we refer to each other by our real names. In fact, Allan's gotten so used to it that he inadvertently called his sister "sweetie" on more than one occasion. I think they were both equally grossed out and offended ;-) On another note-- our pet names for our respective exes immediately before us, was "honey". Well, apparently our exes ruined "honey" for both us, which is why we NEVER use it on each other. So you see, we can't split up-- otherwise we'd have no more pet names to call our next partner! ;-)

5. Okay, I admit that when I first saw this, my immediate reaction was "I haven't watched many Stephen King movies". All that came to mind was stuff like Carrie, Pet Sematary, It, The Shining... you know, the usual horror fare, of which I'd only seen "Carrie". But then I looked up all the movies that were derived from his works, and realized I'd actually seen AND enjoyed The Dead Zone (yes, the original with Christopher Walken, though I love the TV series with Anthony Michael Hall, too), The Shawshank Redemption, AND The Green Mile. It's hard to pick a favorite from those 3. I keep waffling everytime I try. So I'll just leave it at those :-)

How about you?

Anti-theft devices?

Went shopping after work today. Came home with a new bathing suit from K-Mart. Great deal, clearance sale-- it's almost the end of summer, after all.

I get home to try it on again and model it for Allan. To my surprise, what do you suppose was still affixed to one of the straps? That big, bulky plastic security device. You know, the ones that can only be removed by special removers at the checkout stand, that burst and spray indelible ink if you try to force it off yourself, and that set off alarms if you try to walk out of the store with them?

Yeah... nice little surprise, considering there were no alarms to be heard when we left the store.

Kinda defeats the purpose, eh?

Exercise more, eat more?

Diet and exercise go hand in hand, usually. At least, for a well-balanced life, they do.

For me, though-- "diet" has taken on a new meaning. Aside from trying to eat more healthful foods, I've found that I've actually increased the quantity I eat.

My days are no longer as sedentary as they have been for the past 5 years. The 10-minute walk between home and work is multiplied fourfold because we go home for lunch. That's 4 trips x 10 minutes each = 40 minutes of walking per day. Okay, not terribly impressive since it's not power-walking or jogging, but better than nothing.

The apartment complex has a little gym and swimming pool, eliminating any excuse against working out, that we might've harbored previously. So, I've taken to alternating days of weights and days of swimming while Allan attacks the treadmill.

Knowing I was woefully out of shape to begin with, I've been careful not to overdo it. So I'm a little sore, but it's not too bad, and I can already see the difference in things like improved sleep quality and increased energy during the day. Not much yet, mind you, but noticeable enough at this point.

What I hadn't counted on, however, was a marked increase in my appetite! I suddenly found myself ravenous during times of the day when I wasn't hungry before! I suppose it makes sense-- now that my body's burning more calories I need to replenish the supply more frequently. Still, I found it amusing that Helly's "diet and exercise" regimen would involve more eating, and not less.

Looks like fewer leftovers in our meal futures... ;-)