Oh, wie schön ist Panama

One of my favorite stories growing up is a book called "Oh, wie schön ist Panama", an adorable children's book by Janosch.

The story revolves around two best friends: Baer and Tiger (I don't think I have to translate what kind of animals those are :-P) who live together and work together for their daily food. One day, Baer discovers a crate from Panama, and the two friends embark on a journey to what they believe is the land of their dreams. Along they way, they encounter other animals and all sorts of adventures, until one day they come across their own house! The surroundings have changed while they were gone-- plants overgrown, house in disrepair, so they don't realize it's their original house, and happily settle in.

I loved the story because it was a cute plot and because the illustrations are amazing. They so vividly captured the spirit of the characters, made them especially loveable. See for yourself:

Baer and Tiger set off on their way, leaving a sign post pointing in the direction of Panama

The pair interrupts a fox's dinner to ask for directions

Even when it rains, they manage to look on the bright side of things, grateful for the shelter they're able to construct

Happy dance! They've found Panama!

It's fairly obvious now that the "moral" of the story is that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, that it's all down to your frame of mind, your perception and acceptance of your current situation. As evidenced by the rainy scene above, even when their situation was glum, Baer and Tiger always remained positive and upbeat, choosing to focus on what they can be grateful for, rather than grumbling about what's going wrong. And clearly they were thrilled to be in "paradise" when they returned to their own home, because even though they weren't in Panama, they believed they were, and appreciated their surroundings with that frame of mind.

But as a kid, that lesson just flew over my head, yet I was still enchanted by the story and by the characters. Loveable Baer and Tiger and Tiger's wooden striped duck, aka Tigerente.

So you can imagine my squeal of delight when I discovered this little gem in the Nuremberg Toy Museum:

 

A plush Baer and Tiger!!

Maybe not an exact replica of how they're drawn in the books, but wow, did that bring back a flood of memories! And now I want a stuffed Baer and Tiger! :-D

How about you? What are some of your favorite childhood books? 

I'm posting every day in October as part of the 31-Day Writing Challenge. Click here to read more about it and to see the rest of my posts this month!

Judge Not...

A few things have come to a head this week to inspire this post.

It started on Monday, when my friend Mitch and I had some interesting conversations over coffee (well, tea) on a variety of topics, including being judgmental of others, and how we ought to refrain from it. We didn't delve into this topic deeply, but I feel like even that brief discussion opened my eyes and ears to picking up that same message elsewhere.  

On Tuesday, I read a blog post from Dan Pearce, of Single Dad Laughing fame, that summed up, quite humorously, the various ways people not only butt into your business, but judge you for the things you do and the decisions you make. I saw myself in quite a few of these, both as having been a recipient of said judgment, and in being guilty of judging others:

http://www.danoah.com/2013/02/20-things-that-aint-none-of-your-business.html/

I'm currently in the midst of reading "The Grace Awakening" by Chuck Swindoll, and yesterday I got to a chapter about letting go. The main point was that God's grace allows you the freedom to either choose to follow him or succumb to the same sinful temptations you were unable to fight off without his help. This freedom, however, also extends to others and how you deal with them. If they are to have true freedom to pursue grace, then you must let them go, and that means refraining from interfering with their decisions. It's up to God to work through those decisions and work in their lives, and it's not up to you to decide what constitutes a poor decision or a good one. In other words: butt out, don't judge, and just continue to show them love and compassion.

Then today I came across this graphic posted on Believe Out Loud's page:

I liked it because, as I've stated in previous blog posts, the whole "love the sinner, hate the sin" adage has never sat well with me. And today it occurred to me that the "hate the sin" portion is actually a form of judgment. And judgment, by its very nature, is unloving. So how can you love yet hate at the same time? You can't.

Some might interpret this to mean that loving the person without hating the sin means condoning his sin, but I don't believe that's the case. A person's sin should not be within our realm to pass judgment on-- that is solely God's domain. It's not even our business to decide what is and what isn't sin. Again, that's entirely between God and the "sinner". All we can do, all we should do, is take our fellow, fallible human being and love them.

And how best to love someone than by refraining from passing judgment on them?

Of Maids and Muscle

This past weekend, in between meeting up with friends, both old and new, I got a chance to partake of two things that are pretty much on opposite ends of the "edifying" spectrum.

On Saturday, I had a chunk of downtime between brunch with the old UCSB Geeks and dinner/karaoke with my SB friends. So after cleaning the house, I settled into my chaise and promptly got lost in what is now one of my favorite books: "The Help"

I got the hardcover version, so it was a pretty sizeable tome. And one of the reasons I can zip through books like that so quickly is that I tend to skip over the long, rambling paragraphs that describe a setting or a character. Impatient as always, I prefer to go straight for the action and dialog. So for most fiction books like that, I really end up reading only about 80% of the entire book.

Not so with this one. This is one of those rare books where I slowly savor every single word. The writing is so good that the characters come vividly alive-- I can picture them and hear their voices in my mind. Of course, since I'd never seen the movie, the characters ended up looking a lot like characters from Downton Abbey, which I'm currently in the midst of watching ;-)

Moreso than an enjoyable read, however, it offered a good glimpse into what life was like in the South in the 1960's-- a time when racial tensions ran rampant. Not unlike "To Kill a Mockingbird", another perennial favorite. And I particularly enjoy books that are fiction at the core, but deal with real historical events.

When I got home from karaoke at around midnight, I couldn't resist picking the book back up-- and promptly stayed up till past 2:00am, finishing it. It was that good! Now I can't wait to see the movie-- it's next up in my Netflix DVD queue :-)

So after that edifying Saturday, I took a turn in the opposite direction on Sunday, when my friend Leah and I got together at my place to watch "Magic Mike".

I came into this movie with extremely low expectations. Which, of course, meant that it exceeded them :-) The plot was thin, but the acting was actually pretty decent. And I did like how they portrayed how the tables were turned-- how the men were used and objectified and seen as nothing more than a piece of meat, much like many women in today's society still are. I'm not entirely sure if the social commentary was intentional or not, but I definitely caught it.

The actual dance scenes, which comprised about half the movie, were okay. I confess that the main draw for me was Matt Bomer (whom I love as Neal Caffrey on "White Collar"), so I was a bit bummed that I didn't get to see much of him (hooray for deleted scenes, at least!)
Channing Tatum is not really my idea of eye candy. He's too overbuilt for my taste, and I don't find his face pretty in the least. What I was impressed by, however, were his dance moves. You wouldn't think that a big guy like that would be able to move so fluidly, but he did!
And Matthew McConaughey gyrating in a G-string? Not a scene I'd like to relive again, thank you very much. He's a little too old for that, and I just felt sort of sad and full of pity when I watched him do that last dance scene at the end.

"Magic Mike" was an enjoyable way to waste a couple of hours, especially since I got to hang out with Leah, whom I haven't seen since before her now-2-year-old began talking! But it further reinforced the notion that this is how I prefer my men: neat, fit, clean-shaven (for the most part, anyway), and dressed smartly:

On Friendship and Traveling Pants

I just finished reading the "Traveling Pants" series-- a set of 4 books that began with "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", and follows 4 friends and their summer adventures throughout high school and the first year of college. I will admit that by the 4th book, the story line is pretty predictable: girl wrestles with something tumultuous, doubts herself, and then figures it out and all is well with the world again by the end of the story. Still, since they are sequels, it's nice to see the characters develop and some of the original story lines continue.

Anyway, the thing that struck me the most about this book was the enduring friendship of the 4 main characters-- girls who were all born around the same time, and who have been friends their whole lives. No matter what happened with their lives, no matter what they did, that friendship always transcended everything, and served as their lifeline when they were adrift. Your friends are always there for you, willing to drop everything to come to your aid when you most need it.

It struck me that I'd never HAD that kind of friendship before. These days, my husband is my best friend, of course, and we relate to each other as best friends do. But... that's sort of the way it's supposed to be. Yet for me, such close friendships outside of my marriage simply do not exist. Oh sure, I've had plenty of friends that know me reasonably well and that I have fun hanging out with. But I've never really had a close girlfriend. One that I could confide the deepest recesses of my soul in, one that I could just feel comfortable being myself with-- the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It makes me a bit wistful when I read books or see movies where such close friendships are a prevalent part of the story. I guess, in a way, it's romanticizing something I've never had, something I sometimes long for. And it's a big part of why I enjoyed the Traveling Pants books-- the bond these girls had was something I had never experienced firsthand, so I liked reading about it. It's almost as if I was experiencing it, vicariously, through them. I don't know if I'll ever experience a friendship like that in real life. But if I don't, I guess I can always enjoy reading about it! :-)

On a side note, I went on Netflix to see if they had the movie version of the book (it's in my DVD queue now). However, I can't believe they cast Alexis Bledel in the role of Lena. She is soooo not what I pictured Lena to be! I mean, she's pretty, but Lena is supposed to be breathtakingly gorgeous. Well, maybe her acting will make up for it. We'll see...

Down with Harry Potter?

You're probably well aware that a lot of religious folks are against Harry Potter. I honestly don't understand the hoopla. Personally, the genre isn't my cup of tea, so I don't read them, myself, but I understand that it appeals to others, and certainly don't begrudge them their wish to read the books.

Enter Todd's school, a private Christian school. The kids in his class take part in a reading program whereby they have to read a certain number of books at home by the end of the school year. Parents keep logs and turn them in periodically. However, neither the Harry Potter nor the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books count towards this quota. Wimpy Kid I agree with-- it's got too many illustrations to be truly grade-level appropriate. And Harry Potter? Fine-- if they believe it's inappropriate, I can abide by that. I certainly don't agree with their reasons for not allowing the kids to count those books as part of the reading program, but hey-- it's their rules, and there's still a whole wide world of other books to read out there. Not a big deal.

However, here is where I take a bit of issue: book orders.

 

Do you remember those Scholastic book order sheets that you used to get in grade school? I remember being excited about the newest editions every month. Nothing quite like poring over the order form, turning it in, and then receiving a brand-new, shiny book! And now that I'm receiving them as a parent, I can certainly appreciate the good prices they have on many titles!

Well... apparently I can't quite order whatever I want for Todd. The restriction about HP is still there. In fact, the rule goes so far as to say that not only will they disallow HP books, but they won't let us order *any* books "dealing with witchcraft". 

Okay, first of all, I think the whole point of the HP series goes beyond just sorcery or witchcraft. I mean, I haven't read the series or seen the movies, but even I can figure out that it's a classic story of good triumphing over evil... which just happens to be in a fantasy setting. And okay, so maybe the characters misbehave-- isn't that true of a lot of youth fiction? That's where the parents and their explanations come in.

Second of all-- it's one thing to decide not to have these books available in the classroom or school library. That's well within the school's rights. But to restrict ordering a book? For HOME use? That should be at the parents' discretion. After all, it's the parents' job to educate their kids on what they're reading at home. It's not the school's job to police what kids read at home.

Third of all-- where do you draw the line? Vampires? Ghosts? (yes, I saw plenty of both in the October, Halloween-themed edition). How about a historically-based fiction about the Salem witch trials? And what about the Chronicles of Narnia? Oh, right. It's written by a Christian author and is supposed to be a biblical allegory, so it MUST be okay. Never mind that it's also full of fantasy and sorcery (and a bloody unicorn on the cover) itself.

It irks me that people can be so rash to put a blanket ban on something they probably never even took the time to investigate themselves. It irks me that I can't order the HP book on the Scholastic form (not that I would want to, mind you), yet on that very same page is some teenybopper magazine that's probably far less edifying than HP. It irks me that people believe that just *looking* at something they consider "evil" will corrupt them, when it's actually this kind of irrational, closed-minded, and downright mindless following that can lead to corrupt actions.

Sigh... will people ever figure it out?

More on Reading

Two years ago I delved into a bit of nostalgia, remembering with fondness the books I enjoyed as a child: http://heckledtrio.blogspot.com/2009/12/reading-memories.html

Many of those books I've come to share with Todd, finding them in the library and bringing them home for him to read. He has enjoyed the Little House series immensely, and even did his first school book report on one of them. The Ramona series also became a favorite of his, in addition to Beverly Cleary's other much-loved series, such as Henry Huggins, Ralph S. Mouse and others.

Yesterday Tabitha posted about what she's currently reading, and that spawned some commentary about what I was currently reading, myself.

Now that Todd is a little older, his grade-appropriate reading is a little more involved. There is more classroom reading, and every month there is a book project to do (not a full-blown book report, thankfully). So I've had to keep up with his reading a lot more than I used to. And in the process, I've discovered some other favorites!

I love anything by Dick King-Smith, author of Babe. He writes a lot of animal stories, and I find that nothing is more entertaining than anthropomorphized animals! In my post 2 years ago, I mentioned The Incredible Journey as a favorite, for much the same reason-- animals!

Todd is currently in the middle of Judy Blume's Fudge series, which I actually read last year, and which I found a good form of "birth control". Just reading about little brother Fudge's crazy antics makes me wonder how his parents (and older brother, whose point of view the story is told from) keep their sanity, and glad that I only have ONE such kid to deal with!

In class, he's reading My Side of the Mountain, which I also decided to pick up and read. And I love it! Why? Because it so perfectly fits the type of story I've always been enchanted by as a kid: the kind where you read minute details about people being resourceful and surviving. It's the main reason I enjoyed The Boxcar Children (which I mentioned in the previous post, as well) when I was little, and why the winter scenes from Laura Ingalls Wilder's The Long Winter are among my favorites: lots of details about what they ate, how they scrounged up their food, how they obtained shelter, etc.

I've enjoyed stories meant for older kids, as well, such as John Grisham's Theodore Boone, his attempt to transport his usual courtroom drama into a youth novel. Still a little adult-flavored, in my opinion, but a fascinating read nevertheless. I spied Little Blog on the Prairie in the teen corner of our library, and couldn't resist the wacky-sounding title-- it turned out to be a pretty cute story about a modern-day girl transported back to 1890 as her family attends "Frontier Camp"! And finally, I've started to get into books by Alex Sanchez, his The God Box, the first one I read, being especially good. I hope to expand on his work in a later post.

And finally, I've been able to get some books for free through a website called BookSneeze. The basic premise of this program is that they'll send you a book for free in exchange for your writing an honest review about it-- both on your blog and on a big retailer site, like Amazon. So far I've read and reviewed one book (which I wasn't terribly impressed with), and am in the middle of reading a biography of George Washington Carver. No pressure to write a positive review-- just an honest one. This program is an offshoot of Thomas Nelson Publishers, so the majority of the selection is Christian-themed. And a lot of the books are available only as e-books, so that makes reading a bit cumbersome for me. Still, it's a neat program, and so far I'm enjoying participating in it. Highly recommended if you like reading, and don't mind having to finish a book and write a review about it before you can get your next one :-)

What's on your bookshelf these days?

Book Review: Just In Case You Ever Wonder

Just In Case You Ever Wonder by Max Lucado. Illustrated by Toni Goffe.

Let me start out by saying that I generally enjoy Max Lucado's works. His adult books are easy to read and express common-sense concepts about faith in bite-sized chunks that are easy to chew on and digest. So I was looking forward to reading this to my 7-year-old son at bedtime when I received it. Since it was in e-book format, I turned off the light, snuggled into bed next to him, and turned on the iPad. Cozy, right? Well, on to the book itself...

Just In Case You Ever Wonder is a Christian children's book that looks as if it were meant for young children-- not many words, lots of pictures. But the content is really geared more towards older children. The basic premise of the story is sweet and innocuous enough: told from a parent's point of view, it is a reminder to children that their parents will always be there for them and will always love them. A good message....

... until I got to the part about scary noises at night and seeing monsters in shadows. That bothered me. I can see how such a notion can be planted into a young child's head and cause problems. I get that the idea was to reassure the child that their parents (and God) will love and protect them even when they're scared, but I think better examples could have been used. Not every kid thinks there are monsters under the bed, and maybe now they will!

The book then trails off a bit into the topic of heaven and how wonderful it is. Which is also nice, but seems strangely out of place in a book that starts strongly with the message that a child can turn to his parents and to God for love and support. 

All in all, I thought the *overall* message of the book was nice-- "I'm here for you no matter what"-- and that's something I definitely want to impart to my child. But the way this idea was presented felt rather disjointed and disorganized, on top of the use of some poor examples. This probably won't be a book I'll be passing along to anyone as a gift. I definitely think there are better books out there that can present this idea, with better examples and better-flowing content.


Note: I received a complimentary copy of this book through booksneeze.com in exchange for honest feedback about the book. The opinions expressed in this review are solely my own.

All Turtles go to Heaven

One of the requirements of this school year is to do 4 book reports, with the books chosen from a list his teacher has provided. Some of the titles are old classics I enjoyed as a child, such as the book he did his first report on, Little House in the Big Woods. But most are new to me, so I've been checking them out of the library and pre-screening them. Some of the choices were from the "Fudge" series by Judy Blume. I figured I would start with the first one, "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing". The copy I got featured an adorable drawing of a little turtle on the cover, which, of course, won me over:



The story was amusing enough, and if you haven't read it as a child, it's basically told from the point of view of 9-year-old Peter and his (mis)adventures with his lively, rambunctious, naughty little brother, Fudge (age 2), who gets into all sorts of trouble. At the end of the story, Fudge's mishap consists of swallowing Peter's little turtle. Despite this, he suffers no ill effects and crows with happiness and pride at this feat. Hope against all hope, but it takes a couple days for the turtle to pass through Fudge's system, and of course it doesn't come out alive :-( Peter did get a dog to "replace" the turtle, and he named it Turtle, to remember his original pet by. Still, the ending made me sad and frustrated enough to put the book back down on the dining table and decide not to give it to Todd to read for a book report.

Now, on weekend mornings, Todd typically awakens before us, so the night before, I set out things for him-- his breakfast, his robe, some books to read on the couch with a blanket, and instructions on what to do. Today was the same-- except that instead of getting a book from the coffee table by the couch, Todd spied "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" as he sat at the dining table, eating. So he picked it up and began to read it. By the time I got out of bed, he was about 2/3 of the way through it. I held my breath and wondered what would happen once he got to the end, knowing how much he loves turtles and how cute he thought the turtle on the cover was (I think that's what caught his attention). Well, here's what transpired:

"Oh, I don't believe it!" he said.

"What?" I inquired.

"I don't believe Fudge swallowed the turtle", he replied, not so much an exclamation as a declaration.

When I asked him why, he elaborated further: "if he really did swallow it, he'd be sad and sick!"

"Who? Fudge or the turtle?" I wanted to clarify.

"Fudge! Fudge would be sad and sick, but he's happy. The turtle would just be... dead!"

Todd said this so matter-of-factly, as if he were presenting simple, hard evidence in front of a court:
If a boy swallowed a turtle, he'd be sick. Fudge is not sick. Ergo, he could not have swallowed the turtle.
I have to admit, it made sense, but that only heightened my sense of dread as he approached the pages that confirmed the outcome.

My dread was for naught, though, because he finished the book, shut it, and told me in that same straightforward manner: "A dog named Turtle! That's cute!" He was even amused at the idea. Slightly encouraged, I asked him if he wanted to use that book for his next book report. He thought for a moment before vetoing the idea. Naturally, I asked why-- was it because he didn't like the story? His reply?

"Oh, I liked the story. But I think the rest of my class will cry".

Awww. I haven't decided if he really does think it will make others sad, or if that's just his way of projecting his own feelings about the story without having to admit that it made HIM sad. Either way... time to find another book for the next book report!

Coffins from Costco, or Postmortem Bling?

A friend posted on FB about an interesting find he came across while browsing the costco.com website: a "funeral" section, stocked with coffins and other funeral-related essentials. How about that! When Costco aims to be a one-stop shopping place, with its gas stations and fast food and electronics in addition to food and household items, they're really rounding things out with funeral accessories! I'm not sure how Costco's prices stack up against normal "retail" prices of caskets at your average funeral home, but I guess if you really find yourself in the market for one, and if a comparable coffin goes for price difference of at least $50, then it's worth a year's membership just for the casket ;-)

Of course, Costco sells traditional, run-of-the-mill funeral items: caskets, urns, flower stands. Stuff you'd typically find at your local mortuary. But that's assuming that you're going to choose traditional burial or cremation for yourself or for your loved one. But what if you don't want to go with the norm?

Back in January 2006, I spotted an article in the current issue of Popular Science that dealt with the various alternatives of body disposal (besides cremation and burial) available to the public. One environmentally-friendly option is dipping the body into a vat of liquid nitrogen, which essentially freeze-dries it and makes it so brittle that one zap of vibration shatters it into a pile of powder. This powder is then put into a potato-starch box and buried in the ground, where everything disintegrates within a year, returning nutrients to the soil. Pretty eco-conscious, not to mention cost effective (at $1000, about the same cost as cremation, and much less than the $8000 average price tag for conventional funerals and burials). And as they say... ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Very fitting, no?

But wait, it gets better (this is copied verbatim from the article):

LifeGem in Elk Grove Village, Illinois, has perfected a flashier type of after-death alchemy: transforming cremated remains into man-made diamonds. Technicians extract pure carbon from the ashes, then place the carbon into a diamond press that exerts intense heat (about 2200 degrees Fahrenheit) and pressures of up to 50,000 atmospheres for several days. The rough diamond that results-- which will be naturally colored yellow or orange but can, through processing, be made blue with trace amounts of the element boron-- can be faceted and polished just like an ordinary stone. In addition to choosing the color, you can specify the size of your LifeGem, from 0.2 to 1 carat. At $20,000 for a 1-carat blue diamond, though, it's a fair bit more expensive than a typical cremation, which costs around $1000 (small yellow gemstones start at $2700). Total turnaround time: six to nine months.

LifeGems have attracted a devoted following of thousands who prefer their deceased loved ones around their fingers, not underfoot. "The diamonds are tangible, they're beautiful, and they can be handed down", says the company's CFO, Mike Herro. "Family members say we've made their difficult situation a little bit better".

How's that for an icebreaker at a party-- stumped for something to say? Just show off your jewelry and explain how that's Grandma on your finger or Great Aunt Millie around your neck.

And in case you're wondering why I'm quoting an article that's almost 5 years old, it's because I did blog about it on my Grab.com blog back when that issue of the magazine came out. No doubt LifeGem was a fledgling company back then. I looked them up, and it appears that they are still around. Wonder how business is doing. Given the fact that nothing in life is certain but taxes and death, I suppose they'll always have a steady supply of customers, if people are quirky enough to consider it ;-)

Me? I actually like the sound of the more eco-friendly options. If nothing else, it saves money AND space. I always wondered what would happen when cemeteries ran out of room to landscape more burial plots or build more mausoleums.

How about you? What are post-life options would you consider?

"Love Your Neighbor"-- that's all to it

A few weeks ago, our pastor did a sermon on love: the way you love God is to love people. 1 John 4:20-21 best sums it up:

If anyone says "I love God", yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother. (NIV)


It's a pretty straightforward verse, isn't it? And it basically sums up the core of what I believe about Christianity, the core of everything Jesus taught. Moses came down the mountain with 10 commandments, but Jesus reduced it to the most important: Love God (and in doing so, love your neighbor). Everything else follows from there. Seems simple, doesn't it? How on earth this basic message got twisted into the kind of fundamentalist rhetoric we associate modern-day "Christians" with today is baffling.

Allan and I had lunch with our friend Matt today, and wound up having a really interesting conversation on this concept: who are we, as mere, fallible humans, to decide what is and what is not sinful? Even the word "sin" itself carries such negative connotations that we really *shouldn't* be any position to tell anyone whether or not they are sinning. Instead of focusing on that, why not take a different approach when deciding whether an action is right or not? Simply examine it under a lens of love.

Matt gives a great example (which I'm paraphrasing and expanding on):

Is drinking alcohol a sin? By itself? No. But if I'm with a friend who is an alcoholic and susceptible to falling off the wagon if I drink around him, then my taking a drink now becomes an act of selfishness that winds up hurting my friend. That is not love. Or if I drink to excess, damaging my health, I am hurting myself. That is not love. Or if I drink irresponsibly and get behind the wheel, I wind up hurting an innocent pedestrian. That is not love.

This same lens can be applied to just about everything in life, including the current debates (and theme of my last couple of blog posts) about homosexuality.

I believe that any question that is asked (usually in a context of decrying it) of homosexual relationships can also be asked of heterosexual relationships. Just substitute the first few letters, and the issues are identical. If it is harmful and destructive in one, it is harmful and destructive in the other, and so is not love. The gender of the partner you're in a relationship with is irrelevant.

- If I bounced from one unhealthy, meaningless relationship to another, I'm hurting myself (and potentially the other person), regardless of whether it's a man or woman.
- If I had multiple sex partners to fill some sort of empty void in my life, it's destructive behavior whether I'm sleeping with a man or a woman.
- If I cheat on my husband, it's devastating to him regardless of whether my lover was male or female.
- And if I'm in a loving and committed relationship with someone who is my partner in all life endeavors, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health-- that sort of relationship IS healthy and IS about love. Whether it's heterosexual or homosexual.

I'd like to conclude with something Pastor Paul Raushenbush wrote at the end of his book, "Teen Spirit: One World, Many Paths", in answer to a person questioning which religion is "right":

"I stick with my core belief that God is love and that anything that is of love is of God. That's a good test for (people) of different faiths: Does their religion promote love? Hinduism (for example), believes in a supreme God and calls upon all people to revere and love all forms of life. For me, this passes the test."

To me, that's all there really is to it. Does it promote love? Or does it harm someone, whether it's yourself or others, physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually? That is the question.  Everything else just naturally stems from the answer to that question. Love God, love your neighbor. Can't have one without the other.

Getting Better With Age

Today's post comes from another plinky.com prompt:

What gets better with age? (Explain why older = better)

With Allan a few short weeks from reaching that age milestone that crosses the threshold to middle age, I thought this was a rather appropriate topic ;-)

The first thing that came to mind was wine, since everyone always talks about aged wine, but since I'm not much of a wine drinker, I wouldn't know. Still, along the lines of food and drink, I'd have to pick Red Vines. They taste much better stale than fresh! :-9 Similarly, hard and chewy gummy bears are delightful, as well!

A well-loved stuffed animal. These tend to be the ones favored by a small child, the animal that brought him/her joy and comfort throughout the years. Some of my favorite stuffed animals that I've possessed for 20+ years, though showing signs of wear ( = signs of love!), always remind me of how much I loved them (and still do), and always brings about pleasant feelings of nostalgia. And if it's still in good condition, it can be passed on to the next generation, along with old memories already built-in!

A good, classic book. Something you can enjoy at an early age, and then read again for the first time years later. I've been revisiting a lot of books that I read as a child or in high school, and memories of my reactions to them and the impact they had on me still lingered. Opening those same stories 15, 20, 25 years later not only brought back a flood of pleasant memories, but because I was reading them through older, wiser eyes, the stories seemed to have likewise magically evolved. My enjoyment of them only deepened.

Sex. This is just common sense. With more experience, you learn what works for you and your partner, and what doesn't.

On a more serious, philosophical note, I believe one's capacity to appreciate/enjoy things in life (both big and little) improves with age. When you're no longer rushing through life at the speed of light, high on youthful abandon, you start taking the time to stop and smell the roses. Pardon the terrible cliche, but it does sum it up. I've never been much for the arts or music (though I took art and piano lessons), and never saw anything beyond the practical value of foreign languages, but these days I'm coming to really realize and appreciate the beauty of such things. Age helps with that. And I think that's a large part of the driving force behind my creation of "Helly's List of Things to Learn" I posted about recently. Life is short. Make the best use of it while you can.

Reading memories

I've gotten into the routine of going to the library every week with Todd to select an armload of new books to tide him over the week. While I was busy looking for selections in the children's section, I also wandered off into the youth section and came across many old, familiar titles of books I had read and enjoyed as a child. Since it had been well over 20 years since I'd read many of these, I thought I'd relive my childhood and re-read them. And I must say-- what a difference a couple of decades makes! It made me realize how much my worldview has changed since I was a child. Back then, my limited life experience painted completely different pictures in my mind of the stories I read. This was especially true of the "Little House" series of books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, because her writing was always so descriptive of the minutiae of her surroundings. In the eyes of a little girl (Laura Ingalls, and little Helly as a reader), the world and even the little houses seemed so vast and big. As I got older, those same mental pictures were colored with the perspective of an older, bigger person-- an adult.

My most recent forays into childhood favorites included the Ramona Quimby series by Beverly Cleary. I remembered snapshots of parts of each story in my head, so memories came flooding back when I re-read the stories again for the first time in 20+ years. Again, the mental pictures the stories evoked now were a little different from the ones that developed when I was little. And now that I have a little kid of my own, the stories, which always expressed Ramona's point of view, really take on a new dimension.

I enjoyed "The Incredible Journey" even more now because my love of animals has grown so much since then. I now marveled at the ingenuity and resourcefulness of "The Boxcar Children", whereas years ago I simply got lost in the details of their day-to-day living: the food, the furniture, the scavenged dishes.

I even decided to try a classic that I hadn't read at all before: "Caddie Woodlawn", contemporary to Laura Ingalls. And while the Little House series will remain a perennial favorite, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed Caddie. It wasn't, as I expected, another version of Laura Ingalls, it was completely different, and both stories are enjoyable in their own right.

While the memories of what exactly I read were only piecemeal until now, the things that certain books evoked are long-lasting:
"The Babysitters Club" series inspired me to try to start my own babysitting club in my neighborhood.
Ramona Quimby's campaign to stop her father from smoking in "Ramona and her Father" inspired me to do the same with my uncle, who was visiting around the time I read the book. Some of the ideas were drawn from the book, as well-- such as putting up "no smoking" signs all over the house.
"Bread and Butter Indian" started my love affair with eating bread with white sugar on top, as it sounded so savory when the girl in the story enjoyed it as a treat.
In high school my best friend and I were avid readers of Nancy Drew, and she and I would devise our own mystery stories, starring ourselves (with different names, of course) as the protagonists.

I've been taking many strolls back into memory lane this past few weeks, thanks to the selections at our local library. It's been a blast having old memories resurface and become refreshed with a new point of view. I have a feeling I'll be making more visits to the library even while Todd is away during winter break!

What are some of your childhood favorites?

Another lazy weekend

This weekend finally allowed the whole family to catch up on some much-needed rest. We turned in our keys to the old place on Friday afternoon, and what bliss it was, coming home on Friday evening and not having to rush off to clean it! We had full intentions of tidying up the new place this weekend-- most of the stuff is put away in cabinets and closets, but more in a cram/jam style without any semblance of order.

But, of course, the best-laid plans never came to fruition. At least today was fairly productive-- Todd and I went shopping in the morning (I finally got a Snuggie!) and hit the library after lunch, and looked at a few open houses together. Todd especially likes exploring the back and side yards of a house.

When we got home, Todd plowed through almost the entire stack of books we'd brought home from the library. Thankfully he doesn't mind re-reading the same books again and again, so they will be enough to tide him over until we can hit the library again next weekend.

And so here it is, 11:00pm and I can't take my shower yet because the towels are in the wash. I figured I'd use the time to cap off my week-long streak of blogging every single day. I think that is a first, or at least, a first in a very, very long time.

I'm left with one question: why are children's books so expensive? I'm looking at a large, glossy hardcover with only about 20 pages in it, and its price tag reads $16. I couldn't imagine shelling out $16 for a book my son is only going to use for a little while. It's not like it's a classic that he can treasure for the rest of his life (such as the "Little House" books). Why does it cost as much as a normal hardcover adult nonfiction!? And *more* than an adult fiction book? Maybe I should take up writing children's books... seems to be good money in it, if the stock of library shelves in the children's section is any indication ;-)

It's Raining, It's Pouring

... the old man is snoring!

Feels like the storm of the century has hit. Gusty winds AND cold, pelting rain all day today. When I came back to the apartment this afternoon, I had to haul my umbrella and wet shoes INSIDE because even the covered parts of our front porch and back patio were getting soaked from rain blowing every which way. My pants were instantly tossed in the hamper due to all the dirt I splattered on it, just walking. We're supposed to get record amounts of rain this next couple days. I suppose, as dry as So Cal normally is, we do need it. Plus it makes for coziness indoors-- warm and listening to the pitter patter outside.

I stopped by the store today and grabbed some excellent after-Christmas deals, 75% off everything holiday-related. But my biggest amusement came in the form of a "sale" item-- sweaters originally marked at $25 apiece and that I saw priced at $10 last week. Today they were marked "Clearance!!"... and priced at $12. Yeah-- more like a clearance of shoppers' wallets :-P

My New Year's Eve was relatively uneventful. I had put Todd down for a long nap earlier that afternoon, figuring it would cause him to stay up till midnight and catch some fireworks on TV with us. At 11:30, however, he was yawning and actually saying "yes" to the notion of going to bed (something he rarely does), so I tucked him into bed and headed for the living room. We watched the ball drop on Times Square, toasted each other with sparkling blueberry juice, and then watched a bit of regular TV. At 12:30 I went to check in on Todd, who was still awake!! Ah well, 4th of July shall provide an opportunity for even more fireworks, AND a warmer environment in which to watch them.

Yesterday Todd surprised me by choosing the library over shopping (where he knew there was an ample selection of toys to browse). I told him I wanted to go shopping, but he chimed in with "I want to go to the library". So, off we went to the library instead, coming home with an armful of books-- a couple for me, and a dozen for Todd :-)

Then today I read him some of his books aloud, and I just wanna know-- why is it so tiring to read books out loud? I was absolutely bushed by the time I'd finished a round of stories. I mean, it's not like it's very physically taxing-- sitting comfortably on our futon, maybe a bit of strain on my vocal cords, but other than that... so why was I tired and sleepy at the end of it?

Time for dinner... Allan has been waiting home all day today for his new computer to arrive. I guess UPS is waiting till the absolute last minute to deliver it to our doorstep. In any case, it's made for some fun ribbing at Allan's expense, getting his dander up over the slight possibility that he might have to wait yet another day for his much-anticipated new toy ;-) Aren't women evil? ;-D

(originally posted at:  http://www.myspace.com/hellykwee/blog/344422846)