To Skip or to Hold Back

I was reading an article about a proposal in the UK to raise the school starting (kindergarten) age from 5 to 6. Now, I realize that the British and American educational systems are disparate enough that relating this to our country is akin to comparing apples to oranges. But the basic premise behind this proposal still stands-- are children starting school at too young an age? This article followed on the heels of another one I'd also read this morning-- To Skip a Grade or Hold a Child Back?

In a nutshell, I believe the answer is really "it depends". Depends on the child, depends on his school, depends on the parents, depends on the resources available. And ultimately, I would like to think that this sort of decision is based on the child's best interest: i.e. his/her readiness for it, both socially and academically. I thought this was a no-brainer.

Silly me.

As I started reading the comments on the British article, I was appalled by how many people related stories of friends/family/acquaintances who held their children back not because the kids weren't ready, but because they wanted their kids to be the oldest/biggest in their class, thereby giving them an edge in sports.

WTF!? THAT is your priority!? That has nothing to do with the child's best interests and everything to do with a parent's ego and selfish pride. I cannot fathom that there are parents out there who would willingly hamper a child's education for the sole reason that they want the kid to be bigger than his classmates!? Are they raising bullies or something?? Mind-boggling.

Besides, being the biggest in your class isn't always a good thing. Hubby went through school at the normal ages, but during his freshman year of high school, he was already 6'4" (i.e. the size of a senior, even taller), despite being only 14. First day of sophomore year, someone asks him, in all seriousness, "What are YOU still doing here!?" This also explains why, all throughout high school, people would speak more sloowwwly and more LOUDLY to him ;-)

My own son started kindergarten at age 4, simply because he was ready for it. Not just academically, but, more importantly, socially. We were fortunate enough to find a local private school that had absolutely no qualms about taking on early starters. Turns out-- he wasn't even the only 4-year-old in the class! He's now in 4th grade, and really blossoming, growing socially while making new friends of all ages-- from 1st graders through 5th graders.

On the other hand, one of Todd's preschool classmates actually started kindergarten late-- at age 6 instead of 5. His mother felt that he was not ready for kindergarten, either socially or academically, and I believe she made the right decision. Had she forced him into kindergarten at the prescribed age, he probably would've either been too frustrated or too disruptive-- affecting not only himself, but his classmates. For him, being held back a year was the correct choice, and he seems to be thriving in school now.

Two completely different decisions made on the basis of the exact same thing: what's best for the kid right now? And that's the way it should be. I'm still shaking my head at this "I'll hold my kid back so he'll be bigger" mentality, because that's NOT in the kid's best interest! Sigh... humanity. I worry about it often.