How to Defend Yourself Against (Much-Bigger) Hubby

My tall 6'8" freak of a husband stands a good foot taller than me and weighs at least 100 pounds more than me. As you can imagine, there is just no way I could ever be a match for him, physically. If he wanted to pin me down so he could tickle me, there's little I could do in the way of defending myself.

That is, if we're talking about brute strength alone.

So, since I can't match him, strength-wise, I resort to other ways to get the best of him. Here are my top three techniques, all of them remarkably effective:

1. My elbows. Apparently, I have sharp, pointy elbows, a swift blow from which knocks Allan down in pain, especially if I get him in the right spots: between the muscles (i.e. Charlie Horse) or between the ribs. Best of all, I hardly feel it, as my bony elbows don't exactly have a lot of nerves there ;-) These days, all I have to do is yell "Elbows of death!" and threaten him, waving flexed elbows in his general direction, and he immediately cries "Uncle!"

2. My hair. As I've often lamented before, it is so coarse and so thick and numerous that more often than not, it just gets in the way. As much as it bothers me to have my own hair get in the way, it bothers other people even more. So I've learned to put this nuisance to task. All I have to do is unclip my hair and throw it in Allan's face, and the result is such a huge amount of annoyance that he immediately lets go and gives in!

3. Tickles. I've learned all of Allan's ticklish spots. It's the usual: armpits and feet, mostly. And those he can easily keep out of reach. But one spot that isn't as easily hidden? His ears! It was actually his mother that told me about his ticklishness there, and I've taken advantage of that fact every chance I get! But only in self-defense, of course O:-)

What I like best about these techniques is that none of them require a significant amount of force. And isn't that the best way to overcome your nemesis, or at least allow an escape? Not brute force, but clever application of one or two effective little techniques ;-)

The Pros and Cons of Husbands

"Husbands: can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em!" -- such is a popular refrain punctuating the end of a conversation, argument, or blog post. At least, it is in my household and my realm ;-)

For today's blog post, I decided to try to map out the pros and cons of husbands. An exercise in futility, you say. We all know the cons outweigh the pros. Perhaps, but maybe keeping mindful of the pros will help put the cons into perspective, or at the very least, keep us from strangling our husbands. After all, last time I checked, murder was still a capital offense in this country :-P

First up, the pros:

1. Husbands make good heaters. On cold, chilly days like the ones we've been having lately, nothing is more efficient at warming you up than snuggling with a nice, warm husband under the covers.

2. They make good jar openers. Or tackle any other thing where physical strength is needed (assuming that he happens to be stronger than you).

3. They serve as stepladder substitutes. Much more convenient to have him fetch that item from the top shelf for you! Again, assuming he is taller than you.

What of the cons, then?

1. Snoring. I know women are just as guilty of this, but there is something about most men's snoring that no woman can compete with. It's not just loud, it's deep and rumbling so that even earplugs are useless. My own son doesn't want to sleep in the same room as Daddy because the snoring keeps him up!

2. They're smelly! Sure, wives are no beds of roses themselves, but husbands outshine them in that regard as well. It would take me hours of activity to work up as much sweat as my husband can accumulate in 30 minutes. And when it comes to passing gas? Which we're comfortable doing in front of each other because, well, we're married? Again, there is no comparison. Mr. Stinkbomb wins, hands-down!

3. When you have kids, they could pass along a Y chromosome, resulting in a son who... *drumroll*... is just like his Daddy. 'nuff said.

4. The pièce de résistance: Husbands are constant sources of consternation! My own husband personifies this a thousandfold by cracking lame jokes. By mocking me when he can think of nothing else to say. By purposefully doing things that annoy me (like attempt to tickle me). He picks on me and then "wins" arguments with the unbeatable "well, look who you married" line.

So really... as soon as the little man is grown and out of the house, and as soon as I get my own electric blanket, electric jar opener, and a small, convenient stepladder, hubby had better watch out! ;-)

Pet Peeves

I could have sworn I had already written a blog post about pet peeves several years ago, but I cannot, for the life of me, find it! So I thought I would at least revisit the concept and maybe update my list. It's probably not much different from what I wrote a few years ago :-)

1. Super bright headlights. Seriously. Who the hell thought equipping newer cars with lights bright enough to illuminate a football stadium, was a smart idea? Sure, when you're driving said car at night, you get to enjoy seeing every minute detail of everything you headlights hit. But you're also blinding the people around you! Saturday night, coming back from Borderline, I had just such a car behind me. I flipped up my rearview mirror, but there was nothing I could do about the searing lights reflecting off my side mirrors. Even Mitch, in the passenger seat, remarked, "does that guy have his high beams on?" I checked the reflection-- nope. It was at the proper headlight angle. How can that stuff be legal? And WHY does anyone in their right mind think these are a smart idea!?

2. Turn signals. This is a two-fold peeve. I hate it when people turn or change lanes without using their turn signal. It's inconvenient at best and dangerous at worst (like when they suddenly brake in front of in order to make a turn you had no idea was coming!). On the flip side, I hate it when people DO turn on their blinkers to change lanes... and then forget to turn them off, driving miles and miles with a blinking light.

3. Cruising in the passing lane. In other countries, it's very much discouraged, even illegal. And it should be! I loathe passing anyone on the right because it's more dangerous (the right lane is designated the slow lane for a reason, people!) but sometimes I have no choice, because some idiot decided to cruise in the left lane, which should be for PASSING ONLY!!

4. Roundabouts. Actually, I don't have a problem with roundabouts. I have a problem with people who don't know how to USE them. They are commonplace in Europe, and over there, I never encountered any issues with drivers using them. Here, on the other hand? They are so rare that people hesitate to enter/exit them properly. Drives me nuts when I'm waiting behind someone trying to enter a roundabout, hesitating and letting missed opportunity after missed opportunity go by...

Hmm... okay, enough car/traffic related ones ;-) What else?

5. Cash change. It irks me when cashiers give me my change by first placing the bills in my hand, and then putting the coins on top of it. The precarious balance of items all but incapacitates that hand. Much easier if the change is on the bottom, and bills on top. That way, I can put the money in my wallet in a much more efficient manner: slide the bills in the billfold portion, pour the coins in the coin purse portion. All without having to balance the stuff in my hand to avoid dropping everything!

6. Misspelling the word "ensure". I've lost count of how many times I've seen it spelled "insure". No! Blue Cross insures you to ensure you stay healthy! You know where else it's spelled that way? In the Preamble to our country's Constitution! I wonder if our Founding Fathers knew how much the insurance premiums on domestic tranquility was eventually going to cost...

7. Inadequately flushed toilets. Public restrooms. How hard can this be? When you've finished your business and you flush, PAY some freakin' ATTENTION. Make sure everything's gone down, and if it hasn't, flush again! Don't leave an unpleasant surprise for the next person to walk in on. Do you do this at home? Jiggle the flush handle and then leave without a second glance? Am I the only one who makes sure the toilet is cleared before leaving it!?

Tired Feet and Breaking in Boots

This past couple of days has certainly been good for getting exercise in the form of country dancing! On Saturday, some friends and I went down to Borderline in Thousand Oaks, where we had a good time eating, drinking, hanging out, learning some new dances, and working up a sweat on the dance floor. I got a good mix of both line dancing and two-stepping in (it helps when you bring your own two-step partner along ;-) )

Me, Taryn, Amy, Tabitha. (Not pictured: Joe, who took the picture, and Mitch)

After I got home, though, I had a hard time sleeping that night, because my legs were sooooo sore and achy! It's a testament to how out of shape I am :-/ All day Sunday my legs were still aching, but they were better today, which was a good thing, considering I had to do a bit of walking around, shopping!

Saturday night at Borderline marked the second or third time I'd worn my new boots for some major dancing in a long period of time. So while they're definitely still in the "breaking in" stage, my feet, though tired at the end of the night, weren't hurting. I'm a big fan of the Ariat line-- good quality and great comfort. Only downside is that the shaft on them tends to be really wide, and since I have thin-to-average calves, they practically swim in them. Still, I love my boots-- from the deep oiled brown color to the pretty design to the scalloped top, and, of course, the comfortable fit!

Ariat Legend in Brown Oiled Rowdy

Today I went to Ventura to do some shopping, and stopped by Boot Barn to pick up another pair of boots: Durangos. The leather on these is much softer than on my Ariats, the foot is extremely comfortable, the shaft fits on my calves much better, and the square toe was narrower. And unlike the rubber sole of my Ariats, this one had a composite sole that was a little smoother, and hence easier to dance in without having to attach felt or some kind of cloth tape to the sole. Plus, it was a nice, neutral, tan color, which goes well with a lot of deeper-colored dresses I have, especially red.

Durango RD3478 in tan

Tonight, I got to break in my new boots with a two-step lesson sponsored by the UCSB country dance club.  The poor boots not only got some good use, but got stepped on a lot. Amazingly, you can't really make out the faint scuff marks that resulted. I guess that's the nice thing about a lighter color-- scuff marks don't show up as easily. As far as comfort goes, the sole of the Durangos don't have as much cushion as the Ariats. Plus, the heel is slightly higher, which gives rise to the usual high-heel-related leg/foot woes. That probably contributed to my having tired feet after less than 2 hours of active use.

Well, we'll see how they hold up on Friday!

Army Memories... In Pictures

This year's Veteran's Day trend seems to consist of changing your Facebook profile picture to one taken while you were in uniform. I'm not usually much for such trends, plus I'm loathe to change my profile pic that often (I haven't touched it in over 3 years). But if I had to, this was the last photo taken of me in uniform:

Sometimes it seems like only yesterday that I joined ROTC at UCLA, when in reality it was almost 20 years ago. Here I am, barely eking out pushups during my first PT test, and doing rappelling for the first time. Don't you love that short hair, those braces, and those huge glasses?

Somehow I survived and graduated..

Yes, that's me being pulled out from under the barbed wire

Went on to Officer's Basic Course in Fort Gordon, GA, where we worked hard...

Hey! This was legit work! We were applying advanced skills from a knot-tying class!

... and played hard... 

Karaoke (you aren't surprised, are you?) at the Officer's Club

... and graduated, ready to tackle to the world as newly-minted and trained officers!

With my squad and our training officer during the Dining Out at the end of the course

I arrived in Germany and got my own platoon:

1st platoon, 268th Signal Company, 72nd Signal Battalion. Mannheim, Germany -- 1998

And my own Humvee:

And a really awesome platoon sergeant who really took me under his wing. 

If you can believe it, we're STANDING inside that foxhole!

Signal Ball 1998, Heidelberg, Germany

I have some really fond memories of my time in the Army. I didn't like the super-early hours, and I never did get used to running for PT, but I did learn and I did grow a lot. Plus, being stationed in Germany was an awesome way to soak up other cultures and travel around Europe! I won't re-hash everything here, but you can read more about it in a post from 4 years ago: http://heckledtrio.blogspot.com/2008/11/veterans-day-ruminations.html

Happy Veteran's Day!

Father? I Myth You!

Few things make me laugh as hard as this picture, which is the first time I realized that Jamie Hyneman really did resemble a walrus. Sorry Jamie, but that little pinniped is way cuter ;-)

This picture, of course, prompted me to do a Google search on baby walruses, to see if I could find more pictures and trivia. What do you think the first result that came up was? This exact same walrus! Turns out his name is Mitik, a rescued orphaned walrus. Apparently, walruses are sociable and like to cuddle... which can be problematic, as even baby walruses can weigh hundreds of pounds! More Mitik cuteness and an exposition on what it's like to cuddle with a baby walrus:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jtes/whats-it-like-to-snuggle-with-a-baby-walrus

All that, of course, prompted me to shift my search focus to something more attainable: a stuffed walrus! The winner? Cuddlekins, by Wild Republic, of course! All of our favorite animals (which have that perfect blend of realism and cuteness) come from this line: tarantula, scorpion, Pacific octopus, skunk, and seal.

Today he arrived in the mail! Here he is, ready to repeat the Mythbusters meme above ;-)

Well? What should we name him?

Insurance Mazes

Just as there are many different flavors of ice cream out there, there's a whole variety of health insurance options to choose from, especially if you're fortunate enough to work for a large employer that can absorb most of the cost of your monthly premiums. I was discussing insurance options with a friend today, which made me reflect back on the various insurance options we'd held throughout the years.

My first foray into the world of health insurance was when I was in grad school, and the only option was to purchase the university's grad student health plan, which was a PPO.  I didn't really think much of it until after Todd was born. Suddenly, I learned the true meaning of "co-insurance" as I sorted through the mounds of hospital and doctor's bills that arrived afterward. Some of it was no surprise-- circumcision was not covered, so we were on the hook for the entire cost of it. Some of it was expected and paid begrudgingly, such as our percentage of the hospital stay cost. And then there was one bill-- the anesthesiologist's, where I owed an out-of-network share of the bill instead of an in-network portion.

This puzzled me, because I was IN Cottage Hospital, which is IN the network. Well, turns out that even though the hospital was in-network, the anesthesiologist's medical group was not. So the cost of the services he rendered (administering my spinal injection) was "out of network", and charged accordingly. The closest anesthesiologist in our network? Santa Maria. Yeah, don't ask. I still haven't figured that one out.

After Todd was born, we put him on Healthy Families, California's insurance program to cover infants and young children of low-income families. As two starving grad students, we definitely fit the bill, albeit at the high end of the salary limit. This was an HMO, and it was virtually pain-free. All I ever had to worry about were a minuscule monthly premium, small office co-pays, and that was it. No more getting bills in the mail. No more sifting through them and arguing about weird charges. If we needed a referral to a specialist, it was no trouble getting one from his pediatrician.

When we started working for Citrix Online, there was no HMO option. Instead, there was an EPO, which was a hybrid between an HMO and a PPO. It was like a PPO in that you could see any specialist you liked without a referral from a PCP. And it was like an HMO in that they only covered in-network costs. That was really convenient to have, and we kept our family on the EPO even after I started working for UCSB, where there were even more insurance options available to employees.

But then Citrix's provider raised the premiums for next year, and by quite a bit! So now we're going back to the HMO through UCSB. UCSB does also have an HMO/PPO hybrid, but in a different way: it's like an HMO in that you need a PCP and referrals to specialists, but it's like a PPO in that it provides some coverage when you're out-of-network.

After the myriad of experiences with different types of insurance plans, I decided I'd rather stick to the good old-fashioned HMO, and not have to worry as much about bills and costs as I would under a PPO.

And let me just end this post by expressing how grateful I am to 1) actually HAVE good health insurance, 2) have an array of choices (PPO, HMO, EPO, Hello!) available, and 3) have it all through employers that make it more affordable for us.

Unconventional Animal Favorites

I was talking to a friend on IM who pointed out that I seemed to have unconventional tastes when it came to favorite animals. I thought about it, and he was quite right! Most people like "normal" animals like dogs, cats, and horses. Maybe even farm animals like pigs or cows, or magnificent beasts like lions, tigers and bears. Then there's me.

My current favorite? Well, if you haven't guessed from my phone's background, my computer's wallpaper, and my frequent photos of the stuffed version, it's tarantulas! In particular, Brachypelma Smithi (a.k.a. the Mexican red-knee tarantula):

Next comes an animal that I think most people will agree is cute, but will keep their distance from. None other than the striped skunk! Look at those baby faces. Who could resist!?

And then there are the animals whose welfare represent my love of all of God's living creatures as well as his earth: sea turtles!

Before that, my loves consisted of frogs and killer whales (the latter mostly because I loved going to Sea World and seeing Shamu).

Why such out-of-the-ordinary creatures?

I fell in love with each of these animals because I had a stuffed version of them that was utterly adorable. Made me interested in learning more about the real-life version of my (current) favorite stuffed animal. And that's how I learned about the plight of endangered sea turtles, that skunks are really tame and make great pets (stink aside, of course), and that most desert tarantulas are docile, peaceful creatures and sit at the top of their buggy food chain.

I wonder why falling in love with a particular stuffed animal makes me fall in love with the real-life version of it. One friend postulates that because I spend so much time with them, they seem larger than life. She knows how to appreciate a good stuffed animal, as well :-)

At any rate, these are my animal favorites. What are your favorite animals?

Food Wars

What do sweet potato fries, calamari, escargots and vodka cranberries have in common? Aside from sounding like a really delightful (and totally fatty and unhealthful!) dinner, they comprise my favorite appetizers. Well, the food ones, anyway. You don't find them everywhere, so whenever I encounter an establishment that offers them on the menu, I find that I MUST try them, and see how they are.

I don't really know how this all began. Maybe it began the first time I ever tried calamari or sweet potato fries, and found them so delicious, I had to have them again whenever they were available. Somehow, that evolved into a competition of sorts-- I wanted to these appetizers at every place that served them, to get a taste of how different places prepared the same dish, and which one had the best ones.

The winners?

For calamari, it would be BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse. Most places will only serve you the round rings from the squid's body. BJ's is the only place I've found (so far) that serves the rings AND the tentacles. Not only is it less wasteful by making use of the WHOLE squid, but I find the tentacles far more delectable than the body. They also cook it just right-- not too tough and chewy from overcooking. And finally, the breading is just right-- not only is the amount just right but the flavor is terrific. I don't use any of the sauces they provide. Just a squeeze of lemon is enough to round out this dish at BJ's :-9

For sweet potato fries, it's a tossup between Le Cafe Stella and Root 217, a new eatery on campus. To me, the perfect fry, whether sweet or regular potato, is one that is lightly crispy on the outside, and soft and melt-in-your-mouth on the inside. The first time I ever went to Stella's Cafe was during a work lunch, and the sweet tater fries were so delightful that I dragged Allan there for Happy Hour later that same day. To my disappointment, the evening fries weren't nearly as good as the noon fries. Yesterday, I had a chance to try the fries at Root 217, and wow, they really fit the bill in terms of what I enjoy in a perfect fry. A good sweet potato fry needs very little in the way of ketchup or other condiments, to perfect the taste.

Finally, escargots. First time I ever tried them was in a restaurant in Paris, 11 years ago. Of course, nothing can beat authentic escargots cooked in what is not only the food capital of the world, but the dish's native country! It was my first time trying them, and I was pleasantly surprised. The snail was soft and tender and drenched in the most savory garlic butter sauce. Recently, we've tried the escargots at both Pacific Crepes and Stella Mare's, and while both were delicious, none could compare to the "real thing" from Paris.

And what of the vodka cranberries? Well, a couple years ago I'd taken a liking to the drink, and decided to make a point of ordering it everywhere we went, so I could compare and contrast. The winner? Why, the bars in Vegas, of course! ;-)

How about you? What are your favorite things you like to repeatedly order?

Election Day Memories

This year's election is probably one of the most buzzed about that I can remember. I probably don't even need to tune into any news websites or channels tonight, to find out the results. I just need to monitor my Facebook feed, I have enough friends on both sides of the issues that I'm sure I'll be hearing (reading?) plenty, one way or another. Right now, though, most of the statuses are about having voted and encouraging everyone else to go out and vote.

One friend's status made mention of the fact that she'd mailed in her ballot, and felt a bit wistful afterward, since she missed the feeling of physically going into a polling station. It made me hearken back to my own voting experiences, and that's when I realized that I really only had one physical one.

I remember the election-- it was 1996, and I was finally old enough to vote. I went down to our local elementary school's auditorium with my parents, and cast my vote for Clinton. That was the last time I visited a physical polling spot.

In 2000, I was stationed in Germany with the Army, and had to vote by mail. In 2004, and 2008, I was living in Santa Barbara, but was still registered to vote in LA. I didn't want to change any official addresses until I had settled down somewhat. That turned out to be a good thing, because in the 11 years I've been in SB, I've moved a total of EIGHT times!

I actually grew to like voting by mail. I could fill out the ballot carefully and at my leisure, and get it done with whenever I wanted to. I liked not having to worry about making time to visit a polling location, and I liked being able to get it done early.

Then last year, after we bought a house, I finally changed the address on my vehicle registration. What I didn't realize was that this act disenrolled me from LA voter registration records. So when, last month, I tried to apply for an absentee ballot from LA county, nothing came through. Fortunately, I figured it out in time to register here in SB.

A few days later, I received an absentee ballot in the mail. I was (pleasantly) surprised, as I didn't realize that was an option. I was expecting a voter registration card that I could take to my local polling place on election day. Well, whatever-- a ballot's a ballot. I filled it out and mailed it off-- and wouldn't you know it, the very next day after I mailed my ballot, I received the voter registration card!

I think I still prefer voting by mail. It's so convenient, and I really like being able to get ahead of the curve and do my civic duty early on.

I do, however, miss getting that little "I Voted" sticker. I know, it's such a small, insignificant thing, but in a heated climate like this year's election, where the imperative to vote is even stronger than ever... I kinda wish I was wearing one right now.

Ah well, I guess an image on my blog will have to do :-)

What's in a Name? Part 3

When you have a pretty unique first AND last name, like I do, you're bound to get tons of misspellings, mispronunciations, and odd nicknames. I talked about some of the more common mistakes in a previous blog post: http://heckledtrio.blogspot.com/2008/02/whats-in-name.html

And while I've come to take the inevitable misspellings and mispronunciations in stride (hey-- what can you do? People don't do well with the unfamiliar!), there is one mistake that irritates me more than any other. And that's when people assume that my last name is the same as my husband's. Although it IS pretty funny when people directly address a 6'8" tall, obviously white guy as "Mr. Kwee" ;-)

While I acknowledge that the majority of married women in American society today still adopt their husband's last name upon marriage, it's quite obviously a growing trend for women not to, especially in areas where women are still in the minority, such as academia or the tech/engineering industry. And I've noticed that businesses that deal with a large variety of the population tend to not make that assumption: they usually ask me if I have the same name as Allan, when I'm giving out both of names (e.g. at the doctor's office).

I've never understood this remnant of a patriarchal society. In many cultures, the notion of adopting a spouse's name is unheard of. And yet we're supposed to be the progressive society? My boss is quite adamant against the practice; as she puts it: you lose part of your own identity when you take your spouse's name. And you're always tied to them in some manner. Plus, if you get divorced (which, hey-- there's a 50% chance of that happening in this society!) you either have to undergo the hassle of changing it again, or remain stuck with the name of your ex.

I'll admit that when I was making the decision about whether or not to change my name, I didn't think of it in quite the terms of social progress. I was merely thinking of convenience-- it's a headache to have to make all those changes and get brand new IDs and whatnot! Also, at the time I was considering going into academia, where it's already hard enough to get ahead as a woman, especially in an engineering field. Why make it that much harder by publishing under one name, and then later on, publishing under another?

But hey-- to each her own, and it is as much one woman's prerogative to change her name as it is my right to keep mine. And I did acknowledge that it is still more common for American women to take their husband's names, than for them to keep their maiden names. So calling me "Knight" is actually a fair assumption for most people to make. And I don't really get offended when they do.

However.

What I take issue with is when I politely *correct* said assumptions, and people STILL insist on using the wrong name.

The biggest culprit? Our son's school. It's pretty conservative. I've noticed that, in subtle ways, they really don't treat women as equals to men. They assume that the moms don't work during the day. When talking to both parents, they make more eye contact with the husband than with the wife. And let's not get started on the "wrong name" deal. Despite filling out forms, signing documents, and using an email address all containing my correct name, I still come out as "Helly Knight" or "Mrs. Knight", or worse yet,  "Mr. and Mrs. Allan Knight" in correspondence, sign-up rosters, and plain old being addressed, even in person.

It's all very reminiscent of the blatantly sexist treatment I got at the hands of a real estate agent when I visited an open house with a male friend of mine: http://heckledtrio.blogspot.com/2010/07/shopping-and-sexism.html

It amazes me that an organization consisting of mostly women (teachers and office staff) would take part in such patriarchal, sexist behavior. At the same time, it's also a conservative Christian organization, so I guess that shouldn't surprise me much. But you wouldn't continue misspelling/mispronouncing someone's name after they've corrected you, right? So why insist on calling me by my husband's name when I've clearly corrected you? I find that downright disrespectful!

Un bon repas au Stella Mare's

One of my favorite Pixar movies is "Ratatouille". Just as I love reading about a good meal, I enjoy a good film about good food, and that movie really had me hankering for some French cuisine.

I remember trying escargot the first time I ever dined in Paris, but beyond that, don't really recall much of the food, mostly because I was more interested in touring the sights than savoring the food, at the time.

I've always wanted to try a nice French restaurant here in Santa Barbara, but the few here were pretty expensive. But since we've been dropping a good C-note on fare at our favorite German restaurant, Brummi's, for our anniversary the last couple of years, we decided that this year's anniversary was a good excuse to splurge on some fine French food.

So, tonight, I took advantage of the last of the unseasonably warm weather, dressed up in one of my new dresses, and trooped out with the boys to Stella Mare's in Montecito.

(photo taken with our DSLR camera)

When we got there, we were a bit skeptical of the location, given that it was right next to the freeway and railroad tracks. But once we stepped inside, we were taken by the charm of this 150-year old renovated house. We chose seats in the large greenhouse/sunroom attached to the house. When our server asked if we were here for any special occasion, we informed her it was for our anniversary, and she immediately brought out complimentary glasses of champagne. A toast!

(photo taken with HTC One S)

Dinner was fabulous! We got there in time for happy hour, which allowed us to indulge in some cocktails (Allan had a Cosmopolitan while I tried a Lemon Drop-- both delicious!) and multiple appetizers: frog legs and escargot. I'd never tried frog legs before (I had a chance to in Indonesia, but after seeing how they treated their animals, I just couldn't stomach it), and decided that people were right-- it tasted like chicken. Dry chicken, mind you, but the tomato/garlic dressing made up for it. The snails with parsley butter were as delightful as I remembered in Paris, if a bit on the plainer side.

After dinner, we ordered dessert, but before ours arrived, we were treated to a complimentary dessert in honor of our anniversary: flourless chocolate torte. Normally I'm very wary of anything "flourless", but this was delicious!

(photo taken with Samsung Galaxy Relay)

The desserts were equally delightful-- chocolate-filled profiteroles, a chocolate cake filled with chocolate mousse, and an assortment of 4 chocolates. Can you say family of chocaholics? Hey, when it comes to European fine chocolates, one MUST partake!

Yes, we came home very sated. And glad that we finally got a chance to try out a great French restaurant with delicious food and superb service. A bit too pricey to go very often, but for special occasions? Tonight was a real treat!

Things You Do When You've Been Married Too Long

Tonight we had a small group of friends over and got a chance to introduce them to the game of "Things".  It's one of those games that can go downhill real fast, and how much fun it is depends on how much in the gutter your friends' minds can go. The deeper the better :-)

Basically, during each round, one person reads off a topic card, for example "Things you shouldn't say to your grandmother", everyone submits an anonymous answer, and then everyone goes around, taking turns trying to guess who answered what. As you can imagine, responses can run the gamut from the very tame to the downright obscene, and hilarity always ensues.

One other phenomenon that occasionally occurs is when more than one person submits the exact same answer. It really brings to mind the old "Great minds think alike... and so do ours!" adage.

Well, tonight proved that when you've been together as long as Allan and I have (and really, 9.5 years isn't really that long, compared to other people!) you start thinking alike.

There were a couple of rounds where we both gave somewhat similar answers. But then! Then came a round towards the end, where the topic was: "Things you've paid too much for".

Our answers? See for yourself:

No... our answers weren't similar. They were downright IDENTICAL.

This really does prove that we've been married too long. Not only did we give the exact same answer, but we both apparently felt that we'd paid some exorbitantly high prices in order to be married to each other ;-)

On Tithing

I thought I'd start this post with a bit of Halloween-related funny, brought to you by Eugene Cho, a pastor in SF whom I follow on Twitter:

Hmm, I wonder who raided her son's bulging, overweight sack of candy before leaving for work this morning... *whistles innocently*  ;-)

Seriously, though, where did this concept of "10%" even come about, in the first place? I'll admit that I have not read through the entire Bible from cover to cover, but I'd be willing to wager that it doesn't dictate an exact figure. We've been attending our church for 4.5 years, and while we give regularly to it, we do not subscribe to any notions of adhering strictly to a man-made percentage.

Now, what I do believe in, regardless of exact figures or rules about net vs. gross income, is in using the income you are blessed to receive, to help others in need. Isn't that the original purpose of tithing?

We have a friend/co-worker who has fairly liberal beliefs, and while most churches are too confining for someone like him, his actions are often more Christian than almost anyone else I know. He applies the true intent of tithing. He does not (necessarily) give to a particular church. He makes micro-loans on Kiva. He donates to clean water projects. His causes focus on the plight of people truly in need, mostly in other, poorer countries, and that's where he tithes. If that is not the spirit of Jesus's command to "love one another", I don't know what is.

I think too often we get caught up in the rules and regulations of religion, and lose sight of what's really, ultimately important: Love God and love one another. And I don't believe that you have to count out 10% of your income, to the penny, and give it all to your church, in order to express that love. Unless, of course, that's what you feel called to do. I believe that that sort of giving should be done in a true spirit of charity and love, and not out of obligation to follow some arbitrary, man-made rules.

Our own pastor summed it up best during a group class once. When the topic of tithing came up, one guy posed exactly the sort of situation my co-worker is already in. He has some favorite causes he would like to donate to. Should he give 10% to the church and then those causes on top of it? Or can those causes count as part of that 10%?

Pastor's reply? "That's between you and God."

Amen!

Halloween Recap

Another year of NaBloPoMo begins! Unlike previous years, I am not starting the month out with a post about our anniversary. After all, there is only so much that can be said about it, right? ;-)

This year I thought I'd start out with a recap of Halloween festivities, and showcase some photos, most of which were taken with our brand new DSLR camera.

First up, the costumes. I recycled my 50's girl costume idea from 2010, but did not reuse many of the same clothing elements. Check my Project 365 blog post here to see what I wore last year.

Contrast that to this year's costume, where I cut a poodle shape out of felt and glued it on to my skirt. And yes, there are real petticoats underneath the skirt!

This year, Todd dressed as an Army soldier. Yes, I know the rank is upside down on both his helmet and his vest. Maybe that's the way it has to be, for a costume?

This year, we did something we've never done before: decorated the house! I bought some window decorations from the local seasonal Halloween store, and Todd drew and cut out additional Halloween-themed pictures. I also strung up lights along our deck railing. The reason I chose to decorate this year was because I wanted to attract more trick-or-treaters. We live in a community whose residents are mostly senior citizens, so there is always a dearth of kids out and about. It's such a treat to get the rare little kid coming to our door. It must have paid off, because I think we doubled the number of kids that came by (and by "doubled" I mean we went from 6 to 12 ;-P)

Here's a shot of the front of our house (excuse the wash-out from the bright porch light)

You'll note a couple of jack-o-lanterns, as well. That's another first this year: carving pumpkins! Todd visited the local pumpkin patch with our church's youth group a few weeks ago, and brought home a couple of pumpkins. He and Daddy immediately set about designing, drawing, and carving their own pumpkins.

Here is Todd, hard at work:

And here are the final results: one pumpkin pi and one happy jack-o-lantern!

 

Doesn't pumpkin pi look really pretty, glowing in the dark?

 

And doesn't Todd's pumpkin look especially friendly? He sat at the door, greeting the trick-or-treaters as they arrived. I think the square nose made him look especially benign and friendly.

What of the festivities?

Well, as I mentioned earlier, Todd took a trip to the pumpkin patch a few weeks ago. The weekend before Halloween, he attended "Boo at the Zoo" at the Santa Barbara Zoo. Here he is, resting in the grass and enjoying some candy:

On Halloween itself, he got to go trick-or-treating with our youth pastor, who, being his usual wacky self, decided to throw a little twist into the event by going door-to-door and singing Christmas carols. Hey-- you can't say they didn't earn their candy! ;-)

As for me, I participated in the campus's staff costume contest, and actually won a runner-up prize for "cutest" category. And our department held our annual mini-pumpkin decorating contest (where the only limitation is that you can only use items/supplies in the office). Here is my royal pumpkin, relaxing regally on his throne:

How was your Halloween?