Shopping and Sexism

I made a trip to Bed Bath and Beyond today and picked up a bed desk for my laptop. It has a built-in USB-powered cooling fan, a little lamp, soft padding on the sides for a mouse, and a cupholder. Since lately I've been spending a lot of my computer time on my laptop from the comfort of Todd's bed, I found a need for a sturdy stand that would keep my laptop cool and protect my legs from its heat. Pillows may protect my legs but aren't good for the laptop. Especially mine, which is 6 years old and prone to really heating up! This is what I wound up getting:



I'm using it as I type up this post now, and I love it! It's just the right size for my large, 15.4" widescreen laptop, which seems to love the cooling fans. They provide some really nice airflow, and keep the laptop happy. Which makes me happy :-) And with a 20% off coupon, it's really worth the price!

So my little purchase covers the "Shopping" part of the post title. What about the "Sexism" part, you may be wondering?

Well, I took my co-worker Timo shopping with me, as there were some things he wanted to get at Bed Bath and Beyond as well. But before that, I wanted to visit a couple of open houses before they closed up. When we got to one of them, we were greeted by the slick, stereotypical-salesman type of agent. The type you know you'd have a hard time saying "no" to if you wandered into his showroom. We introduced ourselves individually, and the guy immediately focused his gaze and attention on Timo. When the agent asked a question, I would respond, and he would glance at me for a split second before turning back to Timo "full time". Apparently I also asked a question during this introductory discourse, which the guy answered, all the while looking at... well, not me! Just when I was starting to feel a bit disconcerted about this, Timo explicitly directed the agent's attention back to me, and we moved on to the tour.

Afterward, we both mused about how there are still people out there who just automatically assume that when they see a man and a woman together, the man is the one making the decisions. I haven't encountered very many forms of sexism in my life (surprising, considering I served in the still-predominantly male Army), so it was a bit surreal to actually witness a form of it in action.

I've also had similar experiences when accompanying my parents to business transactions. When we were shopping around for a burial plot for my grandmother, some of the funeral home personnel would turn their full attention to me, even though it was my mother asking them questions/answering their questions/making the decisions. They just assumed they'd get faster answers out of me because my mom's English isn't as fluent, but come on! It's not like she can't speak it at all! And if there's something that needs clarification, I'm there to help, but I'm not the primary person to be addressed.

All in all, it made for an amusing part of the day, but it still makes you wonder: whatever happened to the common courtesy of addressing the person who is talking to you, regardless of what you think his/her role is?