Will you go out with me?

Today's post is brought to you by plinky.com. The answer prompt for today is:

What did you feel when you first asked someone out on a date?

I actually remember this very clearly. It was the fall of 1995, and we were coming up on one of our annual ROTC military balls at UCLA. I had a bit of a crush on one of the cadets who was a year ahead of me, and after much persuasion by some friends (also fellow cadets) who were aware of this crush, I mustered up every last ounce of courage I could find to dial his number (which I got off the class roster, of course) and ask if he wanted to accompany me to the ball. I didn't do the dial-and-hangup spiel that you often hear of, but I did pick up the phone and hang it up a few times before even dialing. I was THAT nervous.

Anyway, I got him on the line, and asked if he wanted to go to the ball with me. Bless his heart, he tried to let me down as gently as possible. He said he was only popping in for an hour and then going right back home to study for his LSAT. It was a totally plausible excuse-- we all knew he really did have the LSAT coming up in the next week or two. At the end he tried to temper the refusal by saying "maybe next year!" It made me feel a little less embarrassed, at least.

But after I got off the phone, I realized that what he said made no sense-- he was a senior, so there would BE no "next year" for him to be around for another military ball. He wasn't just saying that he didn't want to be my date for the ball, he was saying he wasn't interested in going out on ANY dates, period! Talk about embarrassing!

After this experience, I vowed NEVER to ask a guy out on a date again, at least not so obviously. It was more nerve-wracking than it needed to be, and I feel like I got a glimpse into what it must be like for guys, on whom the onus to do the asking is much greater. I definitely sympathize! 17 years later, I can still vividly recall how my stomach was in knots, how nervous I must have sounded, how disappointed I felt when he said "no", and how embarrassed I felt now that he knew I liked him. Not something I ever want to relive!

Why is dating so complicated??