Well! I wasn't sure if I'd make it this far, but I did! I managed to post every single day for an entire month as part of NaBloPoMo. My very first effort at it. Given that November is probably not a very good month to do it (with the holidays-- I imagine only December would be worst), I'm actually quite pleased that I was able to keep it up every day.
Now, I will admit that there were a couple of days when I had to pre-write a post the day before, and then schedule it to be posted the next day, simply because I knew I would not be anywhere with Internet access all day long. That was fraught with its own frustrations, as apparently Wordpress does not actually post your blog entry at the time you specify. No, it waits until someone visits your blog before it kicks off the cron job that posts the scheduled entry!
Still, posting every single day (sometimes even twice a day, as explained above), proved to be quite a challenge. I found myself becoming more alert to things around me-- from things people posted online to things that happened in the offline world (I don't like using the term "in real life", or "IRL", as the popular acronym goes. That implies that the people I interact with online are somehow not "real". And that's simply not true!) I found myself keeping my eyes and ears peeled for any interesting tidbit, and then expanding it in my mind to see if I could dedicate a whole blog post to it. It's happened a few times. Like a visit to Todd's pediatrician. Or when I saw links to NUD or to Costco's funeral section on FB. Or coming away from a particularly frustrating interview session. It was amazing to me how ordinary, mundane little things that I would ordinarily forget within the hour could develop into topics that I could craft into a post.
So, I'm pleased that there was rarely a shortage of topics, even if inspiration sometimes didn't hit until about 11:00pm, with only an hour to spare ;-)
I'm pleased that there were really only 2 times when I resorted to an "I can't think of anything to post, and I'm pressed for time so I'll just throw in some stuff" post, and even though they were both diary-like in nature (a weekend recap, and some random tidbits), at least there was something unique to tell. Like my first venture into cutting my own hair! O.O
I'm especially pleased that I was able to throw in some deeper, more meaningful posts-- a departure from my usual blatherings or rants about less important things like Paypal's sucky user experience ;-)
I had not intended to create a mini-series of sorts, but my posts on loving thy neighbor in the context of "Christian" views on homosexuality (and yes, those quotation marks are intentional) evolved from a variety of sources that all seemed to happen simultaneously: the link to the post on the little boy dressed as Daphne, a friend decrying passive discrimination, and an interesting lunchtime conversation with a friend from church. I am sure that this won't be the last time I'll be writing on such a topic.
In short, I had a great time with NaBloPoMo. It was a lot of work, but it is exhilarating to make it to the finish line. I am not sure if I will be doing it again in future years. Work and family keep me too busy to even *think* about posting, most days, and I've sacrificed what little personal time I have in the evenings, to do this. It's not really worth it when hardly anyone reads the posts regularly, anyway. But it was nice to get the creative juices flowing and keep them flowing for an extended period. I hope to be able to continue this trend on a smaller scale-- certainly not every day, but maybe a couple times a week. And I hope I continue to be able to keep an eye out for interesting tidbits that I can transform into blog posts.
In the meantime... Happy end of November! Here's to a wonderful holiday season and continued fruitfulness in the blogging world!
La Maison des Tortues: One third of the "heckled trio" writes...
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Better to have loved and lost, or...?
There's the age-old adage: "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Some people agree with it, some people disagree with it. I personally think it all depends on the context.
First, there are a number of ways this "loss of love" could have occurred. Perhaps one partner died. And even then, perhaps he/she died of old age after many years of being together. Or perhaps the surviving spouse is left a young widow(er). Perhaps one was unceremoniously dumped. Perhaps they just grew up, grew apart, and went amicably on their separate ways.
And whether or not I agree with that statement really depends on those factors, on the circumstances of the separation.
Death? Perhaps I would agree. Especially in old age. At some point it is inevitable, and even if it happened unexpectedly at a younger age, it's one of those things that just happens in life (or end of life, as the case may be) that you can't really predict, and that you have to be prepared for. Just as you have to be prepared for the ups and downs that make up a normal marriage. So, as heartbreaking as a partner's death may be, this adage does paint a picture of the brighter times together and the love shared in life.
A bad breakup? I would probably disagree. It sounds so cliche, and if those words were offered to me as comfort, I doubt I'd find much solace in them. I mean, I just got dumped, I really don't need pithy philosophical sayings to heal the hurt. And maybe, just maybe, a bad breakup is indicative of the fact that I'm just better off without him, in which case the adage is false-- it's better to be rid of him, and not having known him at all might have spared me this heartache.
Then there are relationships that dissolve amicably. I'm a pretty firm believer that only in rare cases can a pair of exes remain friends. Unless the breakup was 100% mutual and due largely to *both* partners growing up/apart mutually, one party is always going to have more emotional baggage than the other, and that isn't conduce to a healthy friendship. Maybe one secretly wants more (usually the dumped one) than friendship. Or maybe there's underlying feelings of hostility over the breakup that always linger. In any event, since this separation is less emotionally-charged, the adage becomes something of a practical viewpoint: what have I gained in that relationship? What have I learned, and how have I grown? And if the answer is "nothing", then it evidently made no difference at all if I even knew the other person or not. And if it's something positive, then yes, maybe it was better to have loved and "lost", though I don't really think you could call it a "lost" love, could you?
So yeah. That old saying is one of those that I generally don't agree with, except in certain circumstances. But maybe that's because I'm not an overly emotional person myself, and so I don't really get the whole emotional scene that accompanies relationships and their inevitable roller coasters, or the fallout when they end.
Of course, given how often I try to sell my husband, who knows what tune I'd be singing once I found a serious buyer and the transaction was finalized ;-)
First, there are a number of ways this "loss of love" could have occurred. Perhaps one partner died. And even then, perhaps he/she died of old age after many years of being together. Or perhaps the surviving spouse is left a young widow(er). Perhaps one was unceremoniously dumped. Perhaps they just grew up, grew apart, and went amicably on their separate ways.
And whether or not I agree with that statement really depends on those factors, on the circumstances of the separation.
Death? Perhaps I would agree. Especially in old age. At some point it is inevitable, and even if it happened unexpectedly at a younger age, it's one of those things that just happens in life (or end of life, as the case may be) that you can't really predict, and that you have to be prepared for. Just as you have to be prepared for the ups and downs that make up a normal marriage. So, as heartbreaking as a partner's death may be, this adage does paint a picture of the brighter times together and the love shared in life.
A bad breakup? I would probably disagree. It sounds so cliche, and if those words were offered to me as comfort, I doubt I'd find much solace in them. I mean, I just got dumped, I really don't need pithy philosophical sayings to heal the hurt. And maybe, just maybe, a bad breakup is indicative of the fact that I'm just better off without him, in which case the adage is false-- it's better to be rid of him, and not having known him at all might have spared me this heartache.
Then there are relationships that dissolve amicably. I'm a pretty firm believer that only in rare cases can a pair of exes remain friends. Unless the breakup was 100% mutual and due largely to *both* partners growing up/apart mutually, one party is always going to have more emotional baggage than the other, and that isn't conduce to a healthy friendship. Maybe one secretly wants more (usually the dumped one) than friendship. Or maybe there's underlying feelings of hostility over the breakup that always linger. In any event, since this separation is less emotionally-charged, the adage becomes something of a practical viewpoint: what have I gained in that relationship? What have I learned, and how have I grown? And if the answer is "nothing", then it evidently made no difference at all if I even knew the other person or not. And if it's something positive, then yes, maybe it was better to have loved and "lost", though I don't really think you could call it a "lost" love, could you?
So yeah. That old saying is one of those that I generally don't agree with, except in certain circumstances. But maybe that's because I'm not an overly emotional person myself, and so I don't really get the whole emotional scene that accompanies relationships and their inevitable roller coasters, or the fallout when they end.
Of course, given how often I try to sell my husband, who knows what tune I'd be singing once I found a serious buyer and the transaction was finalized ;-)
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Why me, God?
Today's "One Big Happy" cartoon really seemed to fit in well with the season of thanksgiving and being grateful for what you have. Insane Black Friday (weekend) crowds notwithstanding, of course ;-)
Here's little Ruthie spouting off another of her funny "the things kids say!" type of nuggets that makes the comic endearing:
Really makes you think, doesn't it? Too often people turn to God only when things are going wrong with their lives. Sometimes they seek his help because they have nowhere else to turn. Sometimes they realize they can't get comfort through anything else in this material world. And sometimes they simply lash out in anger, cursing God or blaming him for the troubles in their lives. No matter the reaction, it seems like they only think of him when they need something. Frankly, sometimes it takes a catastrophic event to turn an otherwise stoic's heart toward God to gain a little perspective.
Much rarer, however, is turning to God with a grateful heart the rest of the time. Taking inventory of your life and, as Ruthie does in the comic above, realizing how fortunate you are compared to a lot of other people in this world. And thanking God when things go *well* with your life-- not just when you achieve a big milestone (such as passing an important exam, or getting a much-coveted job, or finding out you're pregnant when you've been trying for years), but when things are otherwise humming along smoothly in your life.
The Thanksgiving holiday is, these days, often a time for people to reflect on what they have to be thankful for. I will fully admit that most days, I don't really stop to think about all that's going well for me, because I just take it for granted. The Thanksgiving-themed list I outlined earlier this week contains a lot of things that are just part of my day-to-day existence, and therefore easy to simply take for granted.
How much more perspective we would gain on our lives, the next time we're commiserating about little things, if we would just pause and think about our life the way Ruthie does. And then, when we're asking "Why me, God?" it's not with a tone of anguish, but with a tone of reverence and awe.
Why me, God? Why me, indeed...
Here's little Ruthie spouting off another of her funny "the things kids say!" type of nuggets that makes the comic endearing:
Really makes you think, doesn't it? Too often people turn to God only when things are going wrong with their lives. Sometimes they seek his help because they have nowhere else to turn. Sometimes they realize they can't get comfort through anything else in this material world. And sometimes they simply lash out in anger, cursing God or blaming him for the troubles in their lives. No matter the reaction, it seems like they only think of him when they need something. Frankly, sometimes it takes a catastrophic event to turn an otherwise stoic's heart toward God to gain a little perspective.
Much rarer, however, is turning to God with a grateful heart the rest of the time. Taking inventory of your life and, as Ruthie does in the comic above, realizing how fortunate you are compared to a lot of other people in this world. And thanking God when things go *well* with your life-- not just when you achieve a big milestone (such as passing an important exam, or getting a much-coveted job, or finding out you're pregnant when you've been trying for years), but when things are otherwise humming along smoothly in your life.
The Thanksgiving holiday is, these days, often a time for people to reflect on what they have to be thankful for. I will fully admit that most days, I don't really stop to think about all that's going well for me, because I just take it for granted. The Thanksgiving-themed list I outlined earlier this week contains a lot of things that are just part of my day-to-day existence, and therefore easy to simply take for granted.
How much more perspective we would gain on our lives, the next time we're commiserating about little things, if we would just pause and think about our life the way Ruthie does. And then, when we're asking "Why me, God?" it's not with a tone of anguish, but with a tone of reverence and awe.
Why me, God? Why me, indeed...
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Happy Birthday, G-Man!
Okay, so it's one day late. I haven't blogged about our karaoke exploits lately, because-- eh, what's there to write about? We came, we sang, we had fun.
Last night at Old Town Tavern was special, in a couple of different ways.
First off, it was the DJ's birthday! His name is Gary, aka G-Man, and he was featured in one of Tabitha's Project 365 photos the last time we went out for karaoke:
Gary is pretty awesome all around. He has a huge selection of songs, is very encouraging to everyone, and even chimes in in accompaniment while someone is singing. He's very friendly and treats everyone, especially the regulars, like a personal friend.
In honor of his birthday, they served yummy chocolate cake and small appetizers. The whole bar chimed in to sing Happy Birthday to him at one point in the evening. And every so often, he'd get birthday shout-outs from whomever was on stage, at the end of their songs. I thought it was pretty admirable of him to be working 1) the day after Thanksgiving and 2) on his own birthday! Which, of course, falls on Thanksgiving every several years. Better than being on Christmas, I suppose?
I thought I overheard him tell someone he was born in 1951, and if that is true-- wow. He definitely doesn't look that old.
The evening was notable for a second reason: I finally dragged our friend Kartik up on stage. Ever since we started going to OTT for karaoke regularly, he's been hooked on country music, as Tabitha and I sing quite a bit of it. A volunteer day with Habitat for Humanity, where the redneck foreman blasted country music as they worked, helped too. So, he's been wanting to perform Craig Morgan's "A Little Bit of Life" for quite some time. I wanted to get him on stage for at least one song last night, especially since his best friend was visiting from the Bay Area. Unfortunately, we discovered very little overlap between our musical tastes. He didn't know any Beatles, Elvis, ABBA or even Christmas tunes! I didn't know Pink Floyd or Michael Jackson. I wasn't sure I knew the Craig Morgan song well enough, but at least it was familiar enough to me, and we listened to it on his phone a couple of times, and basically "crammed" for it. We got called up sooner than we expected, and Kartik did great! He wasn't as nervous as expected, and now that he's broken his karaoke cherry, the prospect of doing other songs later on will be a lot less daunting.
All in all, a fun-filled evening. Celebrating G-Man's birthday, enjoying cake and listening to some of the other regulars (like Jenny and Cathy-- both very good!) and finally getting Kartik on stage, opening the way to more of his singing in the future! :-)
Last night at Old Town Tavern was special, in a couple of different ways.
First off, it was the DJ's birthday! His name is Gary, aka G-Man, and he was featured in one of Tabitha's Project 365 photos the last time we went out for karaoke:
Gary is pretty awesome all around. He has a huge selection of songs, is very encouraging to everyone, and even chimes in in accompaniment while someone is singing. He's very friendly and treats everyone, especially the regulars, like a personal friend.
In honor of his birthday, they served yummy chocolate cake and small appetizers. The whole bar chimed in to sing Happy Birthday to him at one point in the evening. And every so often, he'd get birthday shout-outs from whomever was on stage, at the end of their songs. I thought it was pretty admirable of him to be working 1) the day after Thanksgiving and 2) on his own birthday! Which, of course, falls on Thanksgiving every several years. Better than being on Christmas, I suppose?
I thought I overheard him tell someone he was born in 1951, and if that is true-- wow. He definitely doesn't look that old.
The evening was notable for a second reason: I finally dragged our friend Kartik up on stage. Ever since we started going to OTT for karaoke regularly, he's been hooked on country music, as Tabitha and I sing quite a bit of it. A volunteer day with Habitat for Humanity, where the redneck foreman blasted country music as they worked, helped too. So, he's been wanting to perform Craig Morgan's "A Little Bit of Life" for quite some time. I wanted to get him on stage for at least one song last night, especially since his best friend was visiting from the Bay Area. Unfortunately, we discovered very little overlap between our musical tastes. He didn't know any Beatles, Elvis, ABBA or even Christmas tunes! I didn't know Pink Floyd or Michael Jackson. I wasn't sure I knew the Craig Morgan song well enough, but at least it was familiar enough to me, and we listened to it on his phone a couple of times, and basically "crammed" for it. We got called up sooner than we expected, and Kartik did great! He wasn't as nervous as expected, and now that he's broken his karaoke cherry, the prospect of doing other songs later on will be a lot less daunting.
All in all, a fun-filled evening. Celebrating G-Man's birthday, enjoying cake and listening to some of the other regulars (like Jenny and Cathy-- both very good!) and finally getting Kartik on stage, opening the way to more of his singing in the future! :-)
Friday, November 26, 2010
Black Friday... at home!
While hoards of crazy shoppers duke it out in the wee, ungodly hours of the morning to catch Black Friday sales, I opted to sleep in. And sleep in I did! I went to bed relatively late (nearly 2:00am), and didn't get up until about 10:45 this morning. I opened up today's and yesterday's copies of the LA Times and browsed through the fat pile of sales fliers in the Thursday edition, all advertising their Black Friday sales, start times (Wal-Mart at midnight, most other stores at 4:00am) and coupons. There were a few interesting items that caught my fancy, I'll admit. But honestly? Nothing worth the hassle of waking up at ungodly hours and braving traffic and horrendous, self-absorbed crowds. There's nothing I need so badly that I'd be willing to do that for a few pieces of discounted merchandise. Besides, stores have sales all the time, I can be sure to catch good prices on things I need/want anytime during the year.
Some of the best times to shop incredible bargains and avoid crowds? The days immediately following a holiday. I picked up my costume for Halloween next year, at 75% off, a few days after Halloween this year. The days following Christmas are the best time to pick up needed items such as decorations and giftwrap, and store them for use next year. Great bargains on candy can be had the day after Valentine's Day and Halloween. As evidenced by my purchase of Twilight-themed Sweethearts, who cares if there are hearts or ghosts and ghouls on the packaging? Candy and chocolate are all the same inside! And more everyday stuff like clothing? End of the season. I get the nicest sweaters for a couple of dollars apiece just before summer begins, and the cutest shorts, skirts and tank-tops as the weather begins to turn nippy and winter arrives. Even Black Friday can't beat some of those off-season bargains! :-D
So, I've been enjoying a quiet Friday at home. Did a little cleaning, washed the bedding, and settled down on my chaise to do some reading. Figured I'd do a quick post before I got comfortable. Then tonight is dinner with friends at Red Pepper (a terrific, hole-in-the-wall restaurant that serves some of the best Chinese food in all of Santa Barbara-- their onion pancakes are a must-have!) followed by a trip to Old Town Tavern down the street. With any luck, the normal Friday-night crowds will be greatly reduced in number tonight, given that it's the middle of the Thanksgiving holiday.
Tomorrow I head back down to LA to pick up the little man, who got to enjoy his long Thanksgiving break with my parents. Gonna stop by Walmart on the way, and hope that the post-Thanksgiving crowds will have subsided by then. This economy has apparently given rise to many stores extending their Black Friday sales through the rest of the weekend, and even longer, in the hopes of encouraging shoppers to continue to come in and spend!
Which reminds me, it's time I started thinking about Christmas shopping... thank goodness for online purchasing! ;-)
Some of the best times to shop incredible bargains and avoid crowds? The days immediately following a holiday. I picked up my costume for Halloween next year, at 75% off, a few days after Halloween this year. The days following Christmas are the best time to pick up needed items such as decorations and giftwrap, and store them for use next year. Great bargains on candy can be had the day after Valentine's Day and Halloween. As evidenced by my purchase of Twilight-themed Sweethearts, who cares if there are hearts or ghosts and ghouls on the packaging? Candy and chocolate are all the same inside! And more everyday stuff like clothing? End of the season. I get the nicest sweaters for a couple of dollars apiece just before summer begins, and the cutest shorts, skirts and tank-tops as the weather begins to turn nippy and winter arrives. Even Black Friday can't beat some of those off-season bargains! :-D
So, I've been enjoying a quiet Friday at home. Did a little cleaning, washed the bedding, and settled down on my chaise to do some reading. Figured I'd do a quick post before I got comfortable. Then tonight is dinner with friends at Red Pepper (a terrific, hole-in-the-wall restaurant that serves some of the best Chinese food in all of Santa Barbara-- their onion pancakes are a must-have!) followed by a trip to Old Town Tavern down the street. With any luck, the normal Friday-night crowds will be greatly reduced in number tonight, given that it's the middle of the Thanksgiving holiday.
Tomorrow I head back down to LA to pick up the little man, who got to enjoy his long Thanksgiving break with my parents. Gonna stop by Walmart on the way, and hope that the post-Thanksgiving crowds will have subsided by then. This economy has apparently given rise to many stores extending their Black Friday sales through the rest of the weekend, and even longer, in the hopes of encouraging shoppers to continue to come in and spend!
Which reminds me, it's time I started thinking about Christmas shopping... thank goodness for online purchasing! ;-)
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving
This is going to be pretty cliche, as *everybody* writes "what are you thankful for?" types of posts on their blogs and on Facebook this time of year. But in the general spirit of things, I thought I might as well follow suit. Here are a few things I am thankful for:
1. Living in paradise. Year round mild weather that rarely ever gets too hot or too cold. Plenty of sunshine (June gloom aside), and close proximity to both beaches and mountains.
2. Having a good job that pays enough to be able to live in said paradise. I know that some jobs do not. I'm especially thankful that my job is flexible enough that I can work from home when Todd is sick, or bring him to the office with me after school some days.
3. A comfortable and sturdy roof over my head, hot and clean running water, and a warm bed to sleep in. When you hear of the plight of so many of the world's poor, it really puts things in perspective.
4. A husband who is my best friend. We get along in so many aspects of our lives, from our hobbies to our attitudes about the important things in life. And where we don't agree, the disagreement is actually complementary. Very harmonious :-)
5. A happy, healthy child. As with the roof over my head, when I hear of children suffering, whether it's due to starvation in a third world country or abuse/neglect in this country, it breaks my heart.
6. Having the fortune and privilege of living in a country where true freedom is known. Where gender and racial inequalities, while still not perfectly addressed, are not nearly as prevalent as in other countries. Where you are truly free to pursue your dreams and be what you wish to be.
7. The Internet! :-D What better, faster way to keep in touch with friends all over the country; all over the world!?
8. God. For all the blessings, some of which are listed above, I've received. Thank you.
How about you? What are you thankful for?
1. Living in paradise. Year round mild weather that rarely ever gets too hot or too cold. Plenty of sunshine (June gloom aside), and close proximity to both beaches and mountains.
2. Having a good job that pays enough to be able to live in said paradise. I know that some jobs do not. I'm especially thankful that my job is flexible enough that I can work from home when Todd is sick, or bring him to the office with me after school some days.
3. A comfortable and sturdy roof over my head, hot and clean running water, and a warm bed to sleep in. When you hear of the plight of so many of the world's poor, it really puts things in perspective.
4. A husband who is my best friend. We get along in so many aspects of our lives, from our hobbies to our attitudes about the important things in life. And where we don't agree, the disagreement is actually complementary. Very harmonious :-)
5. A happy, healthy child. As with the roof over my head, when I hear of children suffering, whether it's due to starvation in a third world country or abuse/neglect in this country, it breaks my heart.
6. Having the fortune and privilege of living in a country where true freedom is known. Where gender and racial inequalities, while still not perfectly addressed, are not nearly as prevalent as in other countries. Where you are truly free to pursue your dreams and be what you wish to be.
7. The Internet! :-D What better, faster way to keep in touch with friends all over the country; all over the world!?
8. God. For all the blessings, some of which are listed above, I've received. Thank you.
How about you? What are you thankful for?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Accents
Accents are a fascinating thing. They are most apparent when non-native speakers learn a new language. Not having grown up with the nuances of pronunciation, their way of pronouncing things is inevitably different from that of native speakers.
More fascinating are the regional differences within one single country with one main language. Like the United States and its variations of English pronunciation according to various native residents' accents.
Then there is me. Like most Asian kids of my generation, our parents were born and raised in an Asian country, and we grew up in the US (whether we were born here or immigrated here at a very young age). As a result, households are often a mish-mash of accents, with the parents speaking accented English and the kids speaking perfect American English. I'm sure that's true of all immigrant families, not just Asians.
When I was about 8 years old, my school held a speech contest. My mother and I worked on my speech, and I spent countless hours practicing its delivery. I distinctly remember my mom emphasizing my pronunciation (and enunciation) during our practice sessions. Even though she herself couldn't speak with an American accent, she could detect it and note when something didn't sound right. Consequently, I adopted an American accent and since then, I've had 2 accents: the one I share with my parents, and the American one for everyone else. A bit of an oddity, to be sure, but I bounce between the two "worlds" with relative ease.
Here's where it gets interesting. This past summer, my cousin, his wife and their daughter (same age as Todd) came to visit us. Allan, Todd and I rented a van and took them to some of the sights like Sea World and Universal Studios. We had a great time, and they enjoyed meeting Todd and Allan (I had already met them 2 years earlier, when we went to Indonesia). After they returned home, my mom, somewhat amused, relayed something they had told her: they had an easier time understanding Allan than they did me! My mom even agreed with their assessment, telling me that she'd always noticed that I seemed to roll my "R"s more heavily than most Americans-- something she has mentioned occasionally before. I was puzzled, because I couldn't detect anything unusual with my own accent. And probably most Americans wouldn't either, but I guess to people for whom English is not their native language, it's more readily apparent.
Until now. What's changed now? Todd started talking more and more. Listening to him, I realized that he rolled his "R"s more strongly than most Americans. Clearly he picked that up from me. I now understood what my mom was talking about.
So I started wondering why I spoke the way I did. And I think it's a byproduct of my tongue overcompensating for not speaking with my parents' accent in public. I liken it to deep cuts-- when your body heals and generates new skin, it overcompensates and creates more skin than originally was there. And so, in an effort to "correct" my accent, I overcorrected. It makes even more sense when you think of it in the context of what makes my American accent distinct (and difficult for foreigners to follow, apparently): the "R". Asians are notorious for being unable to pronounce this letter. My parents less so because their native language does contain an "R" sound, but it's flatter. It's less trilling than the German "R" sound, and less rolling than the American "R" sound. So perhaps one of the ways I changed my accent was to attack the way I rolled my tongue to make the right "R" sound... only between German and English, I somehow attacked it with a little too much fervor ;-)
I had never thought of this before-- well, why would I, when I was never aware of what I was doing in the first place? But now I've got a little mimic to mirror the way I've been talking back at me.
Fascinating, isn't it-- the way people adapt and adjust and compensate. Sometimes it's not enough, sometimes it's too much, and sometimes... sometimes it's just right :-)
More fascinating are the regional differences within one single country with one main language. Like the United States and its variations of English pronunciation according to various native residents' accents.
Then there is me. Like most Asian kids of my generation, our parents were born and raised in an Asian country, and we grew up in the US (whether we were born here or immigrated here at a very young age). As a result, households are often a mish-mash of accents, with the parents speaking accented English and the kids speaking perfect American English. I'm sure that's true of all immigrant families, not just Asians.
When I was about 8 years old, my school held a speech contest. My mother and I worked on my speech, and I spent countless hours practicing its delivery. I distinctly remember my mom emphasizing my pronunciation (and enunciation) during our practice sessions. Even though she herself couldn't speak with an American accent, she could detect it and note when something didn't sound right. Consequently, I adopted an American accent and since then, I've had 2 accents: the one I share with my parents, and the American one for everyone else. A bit of an oddity, to be sure, but I bounce between the two "worlds" with relative ease.
Here's where it gets interesting. This past summer, my cousin, his wife and their daughter (same age as Todd) came to visit us. Allan, Todd and I rented a van and took them to some of the sights like Sea World and Universal Studios. We had a great time, and they enjoyed meeting Todd and Allan (I had already met them 2 years earlier, when we went to Indonesia). After they returned home, my mom, somewhat amused, relayed something they had told her: they had an easier time understanding Allan than they did me! My mom even agreed with their assessment, telling me that she'd always noticed that I seemed to roll my "R"s more heavily than most Americans-- something she has mentioned occasionally before. I was puzzled, because I couldn't detect anything unusual with my own accent. And probably most Americans wouldn't either, but I guess to people for whom English is not their native language, it's more readily apparent.
Until now. What's changed now? Todd started talking more and more. Listening to him, I realized that he rolled his "R"s more strongly than most Americans. Clearly he picked that up from me. I now understood what my mom was talking about.
So I started wondering why I spoke the way I did. And I think it's a byproduct of my tongue overcompensating for not speaking with my parents' accent in public. I liken it to deep cuts-- when your body heals and generates new skin, it overcompensates and creates more skin than originally was there. And so, in an effort to "correct" my accent, I overcorrected. It makes even more sense when you think of it in the context of what makes my American accent distinct (and difficult for foreigners to follow, apparently): the "R". Asians are notorious for being unable to pronounce this letter. My parents less so because their native language does contain an "R" sound, but it's flatter. It's less trilling than the German "R" sound, and less rolling than the American "R" sound. So perhaps one of the ways I changed my accent was to attack the way I rolled my tongue to make the right "R" sound... only between German and English, I somehow attacked it with a little too much fervor ;-)
I had never thought of this before-- well, why would I, when I was never aware of what I was doing in the first place? But now I've got a little mimic to mirror the way I've been talking back at me.
Fascinating, isn't it-- the way people adapt and adjust and compensate. Sometimes it's not enough, sometimes it's too much, and sometimes... sometimes it's just right :-)
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Know your own stuff
Interview processes vary from company to company, and even from department to department within a company. But no matter what the process, I honestly think the best way to prepare is to really know the stuff you've learned and claim to know on your resume. Oh sure, you can prep for behavioral interview questions such as "What do you perceive as your weakness", but by and large, I would figure that the interviewer is largely interested in your job-specific skills, experience and what you can bring to the job.
So where do they first get wind of your experience? From your resume, of course. Which means that no matter what sort of question an interviewer throws at you from their pool of potential questions, the one thing you can be solidly sure of is the material on your own resume. Which YOU wrote. Which speaks to YOUR experiences.
Let me backtrack a little. Our department's interview process is fairly straightforward-- start out with a phone screen, and if you make that cut, come on site for in-person interviews. Now obviously, since we're a tech group, we're really mainly interested in technical knowledge and look for proficiency in specific skills outlined in the job descriptions. Fairly straightforward, no? Either you know X programming language well or you don't. And if you don't, that becomes apparent in the interview, which runs the gamut from answering basic conceptual questions to outright writing coding examples. Nothing outside the norm from usual tech company practices.
Candidates come from a variety of backgrounds, and will thus respond in a variety of ways, depending on their experiences. Even an ideal candidate can miss a question or two on occasion, and still show enough potential to bring on-site, even hire. It's not a game of seeing how many questions they get right, it's a matter of evaluating their problem-solving approaches and their ability to pick up concepts unfamiliar to them (which happens. Nobody knows everything about everything).
Still, in my mind, there is one way a candidate can raise a red flag to me, that *does* have to do with answering questions right or wrong. As I mentioned earlier, your resume is the one tool you have complete control over-- you decide what goes into it, you craft the descriptions of your job responsibilities to convey what you intend to the recruiter, you know better than anyone else what you've learned and what your proficiencies are.
So why, oh why, when an interviewer asks you a simple question about something on your resume (sometimes just as an icebreaker), is it so difficult to answer? Why do you hem and haw when asked to provide details about a recent school project? Why do you make us practically pull teeth in order to get anything deeper than high-level details of a particular job responsibility? If you can't even speak to your own resume intelligently, if you can't even articulate what exact skills you gained/utilized in a particular project, that doesn't really bode well for the rest of your technical knowledge. Because if nothing else, if you can't answer a single question from our list, the least you should be able to do is know the stuff on your resume well. Right? Right!? It's YOUR resume!!
It's not that hard! The mind. It boggles...
So where do they first get wind of your experience? From your resume, of course. Which means that no matter what sort of question an interviewer throws at you from their pool of potential questions, the one thing you can be solidly sure of is the material on your own resume. Which YOU wrote. Which speaks to YOUR experiences.
Let me backtrack a little. Our department's interview process is fairly straightforward-- start out with a phone screen, and if you make that cut, come on site for in-person interviews. Now obviously, since we're a tech group, we're really mainly interested in technical knowledge and look for proficiency in specific skills outlined in the job descriptions. Fairly straightforward, no? Either you know X programming language well or you don't. And if you don't, that becomes apparent in the interview, which runs the gamut from answering basic conceptual questions to outright writing coding examples. Nothing outside the norm from usual tech company practices.
Candidates come from a variety of backgrounds, and will thus respond in a variety of ways, depending on their experiences. Even an ideal candidate can miss a question or two on occasion, and still show enough potential to bring on-site, even hire. It's not a game of seeing how many questions they get right, it's a matter of evaluating their problem-solving approaches and their ability to pick up concepts unfamiliar to them (which happens. Nobody knows everything about everything).
Still, in my mind, there is one way a candidate can raise a red flag to me, that *does* have to do with answering questions right or wrong. As I mentioned earlier, your resume is the one tool you have complete control over-- you decide what goes into it, you craft the descriptions of your job responsibilities to convey what you intend to the recruiter, you know better than anyone else what you've learned and what your proficiencies are.
So why, oh why, when an interviewer asks you a simple question about something on your resume (sometimes just as an icebreaker), is it so difficult to answer? Why do you hem and haw when asked to provide details about a recent school project? Why do you make us practically pull teeth in order to get anything deeper than high-level details of a particular job responsibility? If you can't even speak to your own resume intelligently, if you can't even articulate what exact skills you gained/utilized in a particular project, that doesn't really bode well for the rest of your technical knowledge. Because if nothing else, if you can't answer a single question from our list, the least you should be able to do is know the stuff on your resume well. Right? Right!? It's YOUR resume!!
It's not that hard! The mind. It boggles...
Monday, November 22, 2010
On Giving Back
'tis the season for people to be charitable and, even in these tough economic times, give back to their communities, whether it be donating money to favorite charities, donating food to the local food banks, or volunteering time with their favorite causes. Something about the season brings charitable good to the forefront of people's minds.
Our company is pretty big on giving back to the community. Every year, they match your donations to non-profit organizations, dollar for dollar, up to $1000 per individual, per year. Every year, each employee gets a free volunteer day, where they can take the day off (without cutting into accrued PTO) to do volunteer work. Earlier this year, we used our volunteer day to participate in Disney's give-a-day, get-a-day program. Not so much volunteering in the true sense of the word, since we did get "paid" with free Disney tickets, but it was fun helping out our church's preschool, running errands and cleaning up. This year, the company gave everyone a second free volunteer day in October, to be used with specified local non-profit organizations.
I wound up volunteering for Life Chronicles, an organization that makes video recordings of people wishing to leave their loved ones a last message. The service is employed not only by the terminally ill, but by the elderly who wish to document their memories, or soldiers who are about to be deployed to a war zone and aren't sure if they'll return, or mothers who give their babies up for adoption, leaving a message for the child to view when he/she grows up. I gathered with a group of co-workers in one of our conference rooms, and we set about transcribing DVDs.
Let me tell you-- transcription is hard work! I'm not exactly the world's slowest typist, but often times I had to repeatedly rewind the DVD to try to understand something that wasn't spoken clearly (names of people/places were the worst!). I had to pause to create sections with timestamps, as individual, topical sections do not become apparent until after you've heard/read everything. I managed to get through 2 DVDs during the day.
The first DVD was of an elderly lady with Parkinson's, recounting memories of her childhood, growing up on the farm, and raising her daughter (who also has Parkinson's). There were some funny moments, and it was largely autobiographical in nature.
The second DVD was of a woman who was battling cancer and did not face a good prognosis. She wanted to leave behind some nuggets of wisdom to her children, grandchildren, siblings and nieces/nephews. Some were basic: stay in school, stay away from drugs, get a good job and be independent (mostly for her baby granddaughter). Some touched more poignantly on her current situation: this family is prone to cancer, get yourself checked out early and often! Some were insights borne of years of experience: don't waste energy holding onto grudges, focus that energy on something more positive instead. It made you realize that when you're facing the end of your life very soon, the really important things become clear. It is sad that it takes a lifetime for many people to realize that, and I hope that she made an impact on her family long after she departed this earth.
I worked steadily for 5 hours, transcribing the two 1-hour-long DVDs. By the end of it, my shoulders were aching, my eyes were watering and crossed, and my ears yearned for fresh air after being oppressed by headphones for so long. But in another way, I felt good. It felt good to contribute in some small way to a larger project, a project that is important to a lot of people, a project that leaves behind a loving and lasting legacy for many loved ones.
I hope to instill this sense of helping and volunteerism in Todd. Perhaps one day, when he's older, we can go as a family to DAWG (Santa Barbara's local dog shelter) and volunteer from time to time there. I live too far away from any coastal areas that serve my biggest animal love, sea turtles, but I happily donate to the organizations that do help the turtles. Todd has already developed a love of animals. Let's see if we can turn this compassion into some good for the community :-)
Our company is pretty big on giving back to the community. Every year, they match your donations to non-profit organizations, dollar for dollar, up to $1000 per individual, per year. Every year, each employee gets a free volunteer day, where they can take the day off (without cutting into accrued PTO) to do volunteer work. Earlier this year, we used our volunteer day to participate in Disney's give-a-day, get-a-day program. Not so much volunteering in the true sense of the word, since we did get "paid" with free Disney tickets, but it was fun helping out our church's preschool, running errands and cleaning up. This year, the company gave everyone a second free volunteer day in October, to be used with specified local non-profit organizations.
I wound up volunteering for Life Chronicles, an organization that makes video recordings of people wishing to leave their loved ones a last message. The service is employed not only by the terminally ill, but by the elderly who wish to document their memories, or soldiers who are about to be deployed to a war zone and aren't sure if they'll return, or mothers who give their babies up for adoption, leaving a message for the child to view when he/she grows up. I gathered with a group of co-workers in one of our conference rooms, and we set about transcribing DVDs.
Let me tell you-- transcription is hard work! I'm not exactly the world's slowest typist, but often times I had to repeatedly rewind the DVD to try to understand something that wasn't spoken clearly (names of people/places were the worst!). I had to pause to create sections with timestamps, as individual, topical sections do not become apparent until after you've heard/read everything. I managed to get through 2 DVDs during the day.
The first DVD was of an elderly lady with Parkinson's, recounting memories of her childhood, growing up on the farm, and raising her daughter (who also has Parkinson's). There were some funny moments, and it was largely autobiographical in nature.
The second DVD was of a woman who was battling cancer and did not face a good prognosis. She wanted to leave behind some nuggets of wisdom to her children, grandchildren, siblings and nieces/nephews. Some were basic: stay in school, stay away from drugs, get a good job and be independent (mostly for her baby granddaughter). Some touched more poignantly on her current situation: this family is prone to cancer, get yourself checked out early and often! Some were insights borne of years of experience: don't waste energy holding onto grudges, focus that energy on something more positive instead. It made you realize that when you're facing the end of your life very soon, the really important things become clear. It is sad that it takes a lifetime for many people to realize that, and I hope that she made an impact on her family long after she departed this earth.
I worked steadily for 5 hours, transcribing the two 1-hour-long DVDs. By the end of it, my shoulders were aching, my eyes were watering and crossed, and my ears yearned for fresh air after being oppressed by headphones for so long. But in another way, I felt good. It felt good to contribute in some small way to a larger project, a project that is important to a lot of people, a project that leaves behind a loving and lasting legacy for many loved ones.
I hope to instill this sense of helping and volunteerism in Todd. Perhaps one day, when he's older, we can go as a family to DAWG (Santa Barbara's local dog shelter) and volunteer from time to time there. I live too far away from any coastal areas that serve my biggest animal love, sea turtles, but I happily donate to the organizations that do help the turtles. Todd has already developed a love of animals. Let's see if we can turn this compassion into some good for the community :-)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Canker Sores
Why does it seem as if the smallest, slightest injuries are the ones that are most painful? Or at least, cause pain that is disproportionate to the severity of the injury? Papercuts sting to no end. And canker sores! If they are *just* in the right location of your mouth where they receive a lot of "traffic", you're gonna be talking funny for a while.
I usually only get them if I'm careless with my toothbrushing-- if the toothbrush slips and slams into my gum. The gum canker sores aren't quite so bad as the inner mouth ones, because at least gums don't rub against your teeth. So they really only hurt when food collides with them. But hey-- I'm not eating 24/7, right?
More perplexing are the ones that develop on the inside of your mouth, where constant rubbing against your teeth causes steady, endless irritation. Sometimes they appear when I accidentally bite my cheek. But often times, they seem to materialize out of nowhere. Really strange!
Regardless of where they are, upon the onset of symptoms, I usually sigh and resign myself to about 2 weeks of discomfort. It's a long two weeks! I've tried rinsing with salt water, which alleviates the pain momentarily (for about 5 minutes), but does nothing to speed up healing. I've tried mouthwash, which stings but then numbs, as well. Still takes 2 weeks to heal. Then one time, while brushing my teeth, I accidentally raked my toothbrush right across the canker sore. Hard. My mouth exploded in pain, and it actually bled! But surprisingly, THIS, of all things, seemed to speed up healing. Unfortunately, it's too painful an endeavor for me to ever do it again to myself, at least on purpose. Believe me, I've tried. But I just can't bring myself to do it.
So, all I can do is wait. And do a saltwater rinse for temporary pain relief if need be.
What are your remedies, home or store-bought, for canker sores? Do you do anything that helps ease the pain for longer periods of time? Any secrets to shortening those wretched couple weeks of pain? ;-P
I usually only get them if I'm careless with my toothbrushing-- if the toothbrush slips and slams into my gum. The gum canker sores aren't quite so bad as the inner mouth ones, because at least gums don't rub against your teeth. So they really only hurt when food collides with them. But hey-- I'm not eating 24/7, right?
More perplexing are the ones that develop on the inside of your mouth, where constant rubbing against your teeth causes steady, endless irritation. Sometimes they appear when I accidentally bite my cheek. But often times, they seem to materialize out of nowhere. Really strange!
Regardless of where they are, upon the onset of symptoms, I usually sigh and resign myself to about 2 weeks of discomfort. It's a long two weeks! I've tried rinsing with salt water, which alleviates the pain momentarily (for about 5 minutes), but does nothing to speed up healing. I've tried mouthwash, which stings but then numbs, as well. Still takes 2 weeks to heal. Then one time, while brushing my teeth, I accidentally raked my toothbrush right across the canker sore. Hard. My mouth exploded in pain, and it actually bled! But surprisingly, THIS, of all things, seemed to speed up healing. Unfortunately, it's too painful an endeavor for me to ever do it again to myself, at least on purpose. Believe me, I've tried. But I just can't bring myself to do it.
So, all I can do is wait. And do a saltwater rinse for temporary pain relief if need be.
What are your remedies, home or store-bought, for canker sores? Do you do anything that helps ease the pain for longer periods of time? Any secrets to shortening those wretched couple weeks of pain? ;-P
Saturday, November 20, 2010
All Turtles go to Heaven
One of the requirements of this school year is to do 4 book reports, with the books chosen from a list his teacher has provided. Some of the titles are old classics I enjoyed as a child, such as the book he did his first report on, Little House in the Big Woods. But most are new to me, so I've been checking them out of the library and pre-screening them. Some of the choices were from the "Fudge" series by Judy Blume. I figured I would start with the first one, "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing". The copy I got featured an adorable drawing of a little turtle on the cover, which, of course, won me over:
The story was amusing enough, and if you haven't read it as a child, it's basically told from the point of view of 9-year-old Peter and his (mis)adventures with his lively, rambunctious, naughty little brother, Fudge (age 2), who gets into all sorts of trouble. At the end of the story, Fudge's mishap consists of swallowing Peter's little turtle. Despite this, he suffers no ill effects and crows with happiness and pride at this feat. Hope against all hope, but it takes a couple days for the turtle to pass through Fudge's system, and of course it doesn't come out alive :-( Peter did get a dog to "replace" the turtle, and he named it Turtle, to remember his original pet by. Still, the ending made me sad and frustrated enough to put the book back down on the dining table and decide not to give it to Todd to read for a book report.
Now, on weekend mornings, Todd typically awakens before us, so the night before, I set out things for him-- his breakfast, his robe, some books to read on the couch with a blanket, and instructions on what to do. Today was the same-- except that instead of getting a book from the coffee table by the couch, Todd spied "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" as he sat at the dining table, eating. So he picked it up and began to read it. By the time I got out of bed, he was about 2/3 of the way through it. I held my breath and wondered what would happen once he got to the end, knowing how much he loves turtles and how cute he thought the turtle on the cover was (I think that's what caught his attention). Well, here's what transpired:
"Oh, I don't believe it!" he said.
"What?" I inquired.
"I don't believe Fudge swallowed the turtle", he replied, not so much an exclamation as a declaration.
When I asked him why, he elaborated further: "if he really did swallow it, he'd be sad and sick!"
"Who? Fudge or the turtle?" I wanted to clarify.
"Fudge! Fudge would be sad and sick, but he's happy. The turtle would just be... dead!"
Todd said this so matter-of-factly, as if he were presenting simple, hard evidence in front of a court:
If a boy swallowed a turtle, he'd be sick. Fudge is not sick. Ergo, he could not have swallowed the turtle.
I have to admit, it made sense, but that only heightened my sense of dread as he approached the pages that confirmed the outcome.
My dread was for naught, though, because he finished the book, shut it, and told me in that same straightforward manner: "A dog named Turtle! That's cute!" He was even amused at the idea. Slightly encouraged, I asked him if he wanted to use that book for his next book report. He thought for a moment before vetoing the idea. Naturally, I asked why-- was it because he didn't like the story? His reply?
"Oh, I liked the story. But I think the rest of my class will cry".
Awww. I haven't decided if he really does think it will make others sad, or if that's just his way of projecting his own feelings about the story without having to admit that it made HIM sad. Either way... time to find another book for the next book report!
The story was amusing enough, and if you haven't read it as a child, it's basically told from the point of view of 9-year-old Peter and his (mis)adventures with his lively, rambunctious, naughty little brother, Fudge (age 2), who gets into all sorts of trouble. At the end of the story, Fudge's mishap consists of swallowing Peter's little turtle. Despite this, he suffers no ill effects and crows with happiness and pride at this feat. Hope against all hope, but it takes a couple days for the turtle to pass through Fudge's system, and of course it doesn't come out alive :-( Peter did get a dog to "replace" the turtle, and he named it Turtle, to remember his original pet by. Still, the ending made me sad and frustrated enough to put the book back down on the dining table and decide not to give it to Todd to read for a book report.
Now, on weekend mornings, Todd typically awakens before us, so the night before, I set out things for him-- his breakfast, his robe, some books to read on the couch with a blanket, and instructions on what to do. Today was the same-- except that instead of getting a book from the coffee table by the couch, Todd spied "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" as he sat at the dining table, eating. So he picked it up and began to read it. By the time I got out of bed, he was about 2/3 of the way through it. I held my breath and wondered what would happen once he got to the end, knowing how much he loves turtles and how cute he thought the turtle on the cover was (I think that's what caught his attention). Well, here's what transpired:
"Oh, I don't believe it!" he said.
"What?" I inquired.
"I don't believe Fudge swallowed the turtle", he replied, not so much an exclamation as a declaration.
When I asked him why, he elaborated further: "if he really did swallow it, he'd be sad and sick!"
"Who? Fudge or the turtle?" I wanted to clarify.
"Fudge! Fudge would be sad and sick, but he's happy. The turtle would just be... dead!"
Todd said this so matter-of-factly, as if he were presenting simple, hard evidence in front of a court:
If a boy swallowed a turtle, he'd be sick. Fudge is not sick. Ergo, he could not have swallowed the turtle.
I have to admit, it made sense, but that only heightened my sense of dread as he approached the pages that confirmed the outcome.
My dread was for naught, though, because he finished the book, shut it, and told me in that same straightforward manner: "A dog named Turtle! That's cute!" He was even amused at the idea. Slightly encouraged, I asked him if he wanted to use that book for his next book report. He thought for a moment before vetoing the idea. Naturally, I asked why-- was it because he didn't like the story? His reply?
"Oh, I liked the story. But I think the rest of my class will cry".
Awww. I haven't decided if he really does think it will make others sad, or if that's just his way of projecting his own feelings about the story without having to admit that it made HIM sad. Either way... time to find another book for the next book report!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Mononucleosis
The Epstein-Barr virus, which is responsible for causing mononucleosis, can be adorable... in plush form ;-) Just take a look to the left!
I came down with a case of it about 14 years ago. At first the student health clinic misdiagnosed me with strep throat (as a very sore throat and fever are symptoms of both diseases), and prescribed me a hefty dose of amoxicillin for it. A day or two later, I developed a rash all over my body, and concluded that I was allergic to amoxicillin. When I didn't get better, they examined me again and discovered I actually had mononucleosis! It took about a week or two to recover, and they explained that once you've got it, you always carry it. On the plus side, it means I'll never get it again. On the down side, nobody really knows how long you're actually contagious for, or if the virus takes dormant/active forms periodically during my life, rendering me contagious when it's "active"? Who knows.
Fast forward a few years and my then-boyfriend came down with a case of it. It had been about 3-4 years since I recovered, and we wondered if I had been the one who infected him. Again with the unknown.
Fast forward even more years to last week, when Todd came down with a fever that just would not go away. After several days of it, I took him to one of the pediatricians at Children's Medical Center, who suspected strep throat... except the swab she took came back negative. When a week had gone by and he still had a fever, I again returned to the clinic, this time visiting a different doctor, who suspected mono and conducted his exam accordingly. Took a quick blood test, which confirmed that Todd did indeed have mono (when I told Allan about it later, he immediately pointed an accusing finger at me :-P).
It was at this point that I mentioned to the doctor about how I had been given amoxicillin when I had mono, which is when I learned that I was mildly allergic to it. He paused a moment, and then told me: "No, you're probably not allergic. When people who have mono take amoxicillin, they develop a rash, and often *think* they are allergic, but it's the mono + amoxicillin". That was news to me. I didn't know you weren't supposed to mix the two, and that if you did have a bacterial infection alongside the mono, you should be prescribed something like erythromycin, and not a -cillin family antibiotic. And when I thought about it, it made sense. Most drug allergies manifest themselves in the form of anaphylaxis, or hives, or swelling. I had none of those. The rash I had did not itch. And considering the dosage I was on was really high (500mg, 3x a day, if I recall correctly), you would think a true allergy, even a mild one, would show more severe symptoms than an all-body, non-itching rash.
Anyway, I learned something new that day. The symptoms of strep throat and mono are similar, and if you ever find yourself with a really sore throat and persistent fever that just wipes you out, make sure it isn't mono you have before starting on antibiotics! And if you must have mono or any other kind of disease... better to have the plush kind :-D
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Coffins from Costco, or Postmortem Bling?
A friend posted on FB about an interesting find he came across while browsing the costco.com website: a "funeral" section, stocked with coffins and other funeral-related essentials. How about that! When Costco aims to be a one-stop shopping place, with its gas stations and fast food and electronics in addition to food and household items, they're really rounding things out with funeral accessories! I'm not sure how Costco's prices stack up against normal "retail" prices of caskets at your average funeral home, but I guess if you really find yourself in the market for one, and if a comparable coffin goes for price difference of at least $50, then it's worth a year's membership just for the casket ;-)
Of course, Costco sells traditional, run-of-the-mill funeral items: caskets, urns, flower stands. Stuff you'd typically find at your local mortuary. But that's assuming that you're going to choose traditional burial or cremation for yourself or for your loved one. But what if you don't want to go with the norm?
Back in January 2006, I spotted an article in the current issue of Popular Science that dealt with the various alternatives of body disposal (besides cremation and burial) available to the public. One environmentally-friendly option is dipping the body into a vat of liquid nitrogen, which essentially freeze-dries it and makes it so brittle that one zap of vibration shatters it into a pile of powder. This powder is then put into a potato-starch box and buried in the ground, where everything disintegrates within a year, returning nutrients to the soil. Pretty eco-conscious, not to mention cost effective (at $1000, about the same cost as cremation, and much less than the $8000 average price tag for conventional funerals and burials). And as they say... ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Very fitting, no?
But wait, it gets better (this is copied verbatim from the article):
LifeGem in Elk Grove Village, Illinois, has perfected a flashier type of after-death alchemy: transforming cremated remains into man-made diamonds. Technicians extract pure carbon from the ashes, then place the carbon into a diamond press that exerts intense heat (about 2200 degrees Fahrenheit) and pressures of up to 50,000 atmospheres for several days. The rough diamond that results-- which will be naturally colored yellow or orange but can, through processing, be made blue with trace amounts of the element boron-- can be faceted and polished just like an ordinary stone. In addition to choosing the color, you can specify the size of your LifeGem, from 0.2 to 1 carat. At $20,000 for a 1-carat blue diamond, though, it's a fair bit more expensive than a typical cremation, which costs around $1000 (small yellow gemstones start at $2700). Total turnaround time: six to nine months.
LifeGems have attracted a devoted following of thousands who prefer their deceased loved ones around their fingers, not underfoot. "The diamonds are tangible, they're beautiful, and they can be handed down", says the company's CFO, Mike Herro. "Family members say we've made their difficult situation a little bit better".
How's that for an icebreaker at a party-- stumped for something to say? Just show off your jewelry and explain how that's Grandma on your finger or Great Aunt Millie around your neck.
And in case you're wondering why I'm quoting an article that's almost 5 years old, it's because I did blog about it on my Grab.com blog back when that issue of the magazine came out. No doubt LifeGem was a fledgling company back then. I looked them up, and it appears that they are still around. Wonder how business is doing. Given the fact that nothing in life is certain but taxes and death, I suppose they'll always have a steady supply of customers, if people are quirky enough to consider it ;-)
Me? I actually like the sound of the more eco-friendly options. If nothing else, it saves money AND space. I always wondered what would happen when cemeteries ran out of room to landscape more burial plots or build more mausoleums.
How about you? What are post-life options would you consider?
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
NUD-- stop cluttering Twitter with sports Tweets!
Apparently today is National UnFriend Day, courtesy of Jimmy Kimmel (and cameos by Wolf Blitzer):
I've never watched Jimmy Kimmel before, but maybe I should start, because this really made me laugh.
I'm not very particular when it comes to adding friends on Facebook, but (aside from a small handful of people I met from the Grab.com days) everyone I've added is someone I know from some aspect of my life-- high school, college, Army days, grad school, work or church. And in the small town of Santa Barbara, these circles sometimes overlap. At any given time, maybe 1/3 of my friends are actually active and posting, plus I hide most game/app-related posts, resulting in a pretty manageable feed. So for me, National UnFriend Day isn't really an issue.
I personally try not to clutter my own feed with a bunch of stuff back-to-back. Lately this isn't easy to to, as I'm posting both my NaBloPoMo posts and my Project 365 pictures every day, in addition to whatever status updates or links strike my fancy. So I at least try to space it out-- with the two blogs, I try to do one post in the early afternoon, and one in the evening, for example.
Now, where I am tempted to apply NUD to is Twitter. I don't actually follow a lot of people, less than 50, in fact. Keeps my feed clutter-free and only centered around people/websites I'm actively interested in hearing updates about. And for the most part, it works.
Until sports game days roll around.
Doesn't matter what the sport is, or where it's taking place-- football in the USA or soccer in Europe, if it has die-hard fans, I'm sure a couple of them wind up being folks I happen to follow on Twitter.
Here's a newsflash for those folks: you don't have to Tweet the latest play every 2 minutes! If I really cared that much about the game, I would be watching it myself. If you've got friends who are as nuts about the game as you are, then invite them over. Or IM them, if they are far away. Why do you need to clutter up your Twitter feed with updates that only a small handful of people will actually care about!? It's annoying to have my Firefox Twitter app (formerly called TwitterFox, now Echofon (yeah, I don't get that one either)) update and load about 20 Tweets from you every 5 minutes, obscuring other Tweets and just making everything really cluttered overall.
I kind of get where Jimmy Kimmel is coming from with the useless info that can clutter up your Facebook feed, but I've found that by and large, most people don't update their statuses as often as they do on Twitter (and I actually enjoy hearing the "drivel" from friends-- nice little bite-sized updates on their lives, because I actually care). If anyone needs to learn to curb their enthusiasm for posting every detail of their lives, those culprits are the sports fanatics (and other similar people) on Twitter, not Facebook.
You're publicizing details of your life to what more or less amounts to the general public. Please do so responsibly... and courteously!
I've never watched Jimmy Kimmel before, but maybe I should start, because this really made me laugh.
I'm not very particular when it comes to adding friends on Facebook, but (aside from a small handful of people I met from the Grab.com days) everyone I've added is someone I know from some aspect of my life-- high school, college, Army days, grad school, work or church. And in the small town of Santa Barbara, these circles sometimes overlap. At any given time, maybe 1/3 of my friends are actually active and posting, plus I hide most game/app-related posts, resulting in a pretty manageable feed. So for me, National UnFriend Day isn't really an issue.
I personally try not to clutter my own feed with a bunch of stuff back-to-back. Lately this isn't easy to to, as I'm posting both my NaBloPoMo posts and my Project 365 pictures every day, in addition to whatever status updates or links strike my fancy. So I at least try to space it out-- with the two blogs, I try to do one post in the early afternoon, and one in the evening, for example.
Now, where I am tempted to apply NUD to is Twitter. I don't actually follow a lot of people, less than 50, in fact. Keeps my feed clutter-free and only centered around people/websites I'm actively interested in hearing updates about. And for the most part, it works.
Until sports game days roll around.
Doesn't matter what the sport is, or where it's taking place-- football in the USA or soccer in Europe, if it has die-hard fans, I'm sure a couple of them wind up being folks I happen to follow on Twitter.
Here's a newsflash for those folks: you don't have to Tweet the latest play every 2 minutes! If I really cared that much about the game, I would be watching it myself. If you've got friends who are as nuts about the game as you are, then invite them over. Or IM them, if they are far away. Why do you need to clutter up your Twitter feed with updates that only a small handful of people will actually care about!? It's annoying to have my Firefox Twitter app (formerly called TwitterFox, now Echofon (yeah, I don't get that one either)) update and load about 20 Tweets from you every 5 minutes, obscuring other Tweets and just making everything really cluttered overall.
I kind of get where Jimmy Kimmel is coming from with the useless info that can clutter up your Facebook feed, but I've found that by and large, most people don't update their statuses as often as they do on Twitter (and I actually enjoy hearing the "drivel" from friends-- nice little bite-sized updates on their lives, because I actually care). If anyone needs to learn to curb their enthusiasm for posting every detail of their lives, those culprits are the sports fanatics (and other similar people) on Twitter, not Facebook.
You're publicizing details of your life to what more or less amounts to the general public. Please do so responsibly... and courteously!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Karaoke, Online and Offline
It's no secret that I enjoy a night out with some good karaoke. There are a number of venues in Santa Barbara, and I actually put together a spreadsheet that outlined the different venues on different days-- turns out that every day, there's at least two venues offering karaoke somewhere in Santa Barbara. I personally have only tried Zodo's and Old Town Tavern, and OTT has become the favorite. First, it's offered 3 times a week, second, G-Man (the DJ) has a HUGE selection of songs, and third, they start early enough in the evening that if you get there right on time, the crowd is so thin that you don't have to wait very long to get a number of songs in :-) I blogged about one of our first outings here.
I tend to gravitate more toward country and oldies, since those are the genres I know best. The last time my friend AJ made it out, he commented on how he normally doesn't like country, but my singing it was okay. Funny, I thought the same thing about rap music-- I'm not a big fan of it, but when AJ sings it, it actually sounds fun! Even funnier, apparently Kartik was of the same opinion-- not a big fan of country, but after a few visits to OTT with me and Tabitha (who also likes country), he actually got hooked, and now listens to it all the time! Score one for the country converts side ;-) It's even gotten to the point that he is willing to get on stage and sing one of his favorites! This from the guy whom I figured would rather have teeth pulled than go up and sing!
These days, with Todd back in town, the karaoke nights out are going to be scarce, so I get my fix at the computer instead. Last summer I discovered some fun online karaoke sites, and eventually decided to purchase a membership on one of them. I chose Myspace because they were having a sale at the time-- an annual membership cost only $5/month instead of the standard $10. SingSnap, my other favorite site, had a number of good songs available for free at the time, so between the two sites, I could find just about any song I wanted to sing (except for ABBA-- what is it about ABBA that makes it so difficult for others to procure rights to their songs?) Now I've got a SingSnap membership, for reasons outlined in my previous blog post.
How do they stack up?
Well, I liked my Myspace membership because it allowed me to change the pitch (very important!) and because it enabled me to hear myself singing through the speakers. I could also apply various effects to the audio-- but mostly I just used the reverb.
SingSnap's paid membership also allows pitch changes, though not at the same level of granularity as Myspace, which leaves some songs still out of my range. I can't hear myself through the speakers, but they do provide a sound meter to gauge how loud my mic is, and best of all-- at the end, while previewing the recording, I can adjust the volume of music to make it louder or softer than my voice, and adjust the timing of the vocal and instrumental tracks in case they get misaligned. Reverb and compression are offered, but performed automatically by SingSnap.
In terms of song selection, there's overlap between the two sites on some of the most popular songs, but amongst the songs I like, there seems to be a pretty even mix of what one has that the other doesn't. So between the two, I've got a nice array of songs at my disposal, and rare is the time I cannot find a song I want on either one.
Feature-wise, both sites offer some pretty comprehensive benefits (what is missing on one site is offered on the other, both ways), and both sites offer a good selection of songs. These days, SingSnap does offer a few more advantages over Myspace: like being able to view recordings if you aren't a member, being able to embed the song player on your website, and being able to duets much more easily than on Myspace. Nothing's quite as fun as being able to record a duet with yourself :-D So, that's where I am these days. Come say hello! My SingSnap profile.
And if you're interested in singing karaoke online, I highly recommend both sites as a great place to get your song on :-D
I tend to gravitate more toward country and oldies, since those are the genres I know best. The last time my friend AJ made it out, he commented on how he normally doesn't like country, but my singing it was okay. Funny, I thought the same thing about rap music-- I'm not a big fan of it, but when AJ sings it, it actually sounds fun! Even funnier, apparently Kartik was of the same opinion-- not a big fan of country, but after a few visits to OTT with me and Tabitha (who also likes country), he actually got hooked, and now listens to it all the time! Score one for the country converts side ;-) It's even gotten to the point that he is willing to get on stage and sing one of his favorites! This from the guy whom I figured would rather have teeth pulled than go up and sing!
These days, with Todd back in town, the karaoke nights out are going to be scarce, so I get my fix at the computer instead. Last summer I discovered some fun online karaoke sites, and eventually decided to purchase a membership on one of them. I chose Myspace because they were having a sale at the time-- an annual membership cost only $5/month instead of the standard $10. SingSnap, my other favorite site, had a number of good songs available for free at the time, so between the two sites, I could find just about any song I wanted to sing (except for ABBA-- what is it about ABBA that makes it so difficult for others to procure rights to their songs?) Now I've got a SingSnap membership, for reasons outlined in my previous blog post.
How do they stack up?
Well, I liked my Myspace membership because it allowed me to change the pitch (very important!) and because it enabled me to hear myself singing through the speakers. I could also apply various effects to the audio-- but mostly I just used the reverb.
SingSnap's paid membership also allows pitch changes, though not at the same level of granularity as Myspace, which leaves some songs still out of my range. I can't hear myself through the speakers, but they do provide a sound meter to gauge how loud my mic is, and best of all-- at the end, while previewing the recording, I can adjust the volume of music to make it louder or softer than my voice, and adjust the timing of the vocal and instrumental tracks in case they get misaligned. Reverb and compression are offered, but performed automatically by SingSnap.
In terms of song selection, there's overlap between the two sites on some of the most popular songs, but amongst the songs I like, there seems to be a pretty even mix of what one has that the other doesn't. So between the two, I've got a nice array of songs at my disposal, and rare is the time I cannot find a song I want on either one.
Feature-wise, both sites offer some pretty comprehensive benefits (what is missing on one site is offered on the other, both ways), and both sites offer a good selection of songs. These days, SingSnap does offer a few more advantages over Myspace: like being able to view recordings if you aren't a member, being able to embed the song player on your website, and being able to duets much more easily than on Myspace. Nothing's quite as fun as being able to record a duet with yourself :-D So, that's where I am these days. Come say hello! My SingSnap profile.
And if you're interested in singing karaoke online, I highly recommend both sites as a great place to get your song on :-D
Monday, November 15, 2010
User Experience is more than just visual!
I believe one of the points of pride in our company is that we hire honest-to-goodness user experience designers to mold and shape the design and user experience of our products. Unlike user interface designers, which are typically web developers (programmers), these folks are artists and psychologists. They work with aspects of aesthetics and the human psyche that we engineers would rather not deal with. Add that with another point of pride-- really listening to our customers and finding ways to incorporate their feedback into prioritized features. I think this presents a never-ending challenge for our user experience designers-- striking that right balance between customer wishes and good engineering practices. So I can appreciate how much work goes into creating as smooth and seamless a user experience as possible-- from logging into the website to purchasing the product, to actually downloading and then using the product itself. I think our designers do a fine job of striking that balance.
Which is why Friday night left me so frustrated that I shocked a few of my Facebook friends, who had never heard me cuss before, with my language (which was actually toned down from what I originally wrote!)
Friday night, with Todd in LA, I decided to catch up on some online karaoke. I was getting fed up with Myspace because I noticed they no longer allow non-members to view recordings. Which of course, I find utterly ridiculous. Most people I know jumped the Myspace ship long ago, it isn't fair to expect them to have to sign up all over again just to hear an occasional recording I post to Facebook or my blog. So, I started taking a closer look at SingSnap. I'd long ago stopped using SingSnap because they were locking more and more of their songs to paid members. But my frustrations with Myspace's changes led me to give them a try. I figured, I'll sign up for a one-month membership and see how it goes. If I like it, I'll pay for an annual (cheaper) membership.
Only one problem. For payments that small, I have to go through Paypal. Only semi-annual and annual memberships can be paid directly to SingSnap. That's totally understandable-- it's like the small mom-and-pop stores who require a minimum balance before they'll allow use of credit card as payment. The fees would eat them alive. And I have a Paypal account already verified and hooked up to a couple credit cards and my checking account, so no big deal, right?
Wrong.
I think something went wrong around the time I put in my Paypal password. I'm fairly certain I mistyped a key, but it was too late-- I'd hit "Enter" before I could fix it. No biggie, I thought. Most websites will give you an error message and let you try again. Most secure ones will probably lock you out after a number of failed attempts, but at least they allow you more than one attempt. Not so with Paypal. After my failed attempt, I logged in with my correct password, only to be met with a series of screens that indicated that my account was restricted.
What. The. Hell.
It was not that long ago that I attempted to use Paypal to make a payment, only to find out that because my account wasn't yet "verified", I couldn't send the money. The whole rigamarole of verifying my account was such a hassle! But I eventually got it verified and was able to complete my transaction... a couple days later. And I figured-- once verified, I should be good to go, right?
Apparently not. Now that my account was restricted due to "suspicious activity", I had to complete 3 tasks in order to restore my account. First I had to set some security questions. No biggie. Then I had to reset my password. This I wasn't too happy about, as I have a set pattern for passwords to different types of accounts, and this was going to break it. But okay, I can live with that, if begrudgingly. Finally, I had to verify my address. Oooh look-- it presented me with a number of options to verify the address. What's the fastest way?
First, I tried to select "verify by credit card". What should come up instead but a screen that showed my 2 stored credit cards, and an error message that said the card was either invalid or not found. WHAT CARD!? I wasn't even given an opportunity to select a freakin' card or enter any information!!!!!
Fine, let's try another option: oh, verify by mail. Nope, all that does is send me some instructions via snail mail. No thanks.
Ah, here we go: verify by phone. They'll call me and have me do some things. That should be instantaneous, right? Guess again... they won't accept cell phone numbers, and I don't have a landline. SOL on that front.
My only other option (besides waiting for the snail mail) was to upload a copy of my bank statement or some such that showed my name and address. Fortunately, online banking makes this a cinch, and I easily downloaded a PDF statement from my bank's website. But this verification process still takes at least a day on Paypal's end. Which meant that I could not complete my transaction that same night.
In the end, I resorted to paying SingSnap directly for an annual membership. I wanted the membership and I wanted it now, and I wasn't going to wait for Paypal to finish fucking around and restore my account. Fortunately, the SingSnap membership has been proving very worthwhile, but the whole experience with Paypal has left a very sour taste in my mouth.
I mean, think about it-- what triggered this "suspicious activity" alert? The fact that I entered the wrong password. Not multiple times, which may be indicative of a hacker, but ONCE. You know, because I'm only human and likely to make a mistake once in a while. Not very forgiving, if you ask me. And while I do understand that Paypal wants to protect the safety of my account, it's really not worth the added inconvenience. To add insult to injury, the series of pages I had to go through to restore my account were a joke. What few error messages they gave were totally useless and obviously buggy.
In short: Paypal offered the shittiest user experience I've ever seen. First, the whole hassle of restoring my account because I mistyped my password. Then, the restoration process itself was fraught with horrible UIs. So fuck you, Paypal. I only put up with you because there really isn't anything else out there, and because I do deal with occasional merchants that only accept Paypal. I just hope that you make the user experience of RECEIVING money a hell of a lot smoother than you the experience of SENDING it.
Grrrrrr....
Which is why Friday night left me so frustrated that I shocked a few of my Facebook friends, who had never heard me cuss before, with my language (which was actually toned down from what I originally wrote!)
Friday night, with Todd in LA, I decided to catch up on some online karaoke. I was getting fed up with Myspace because I noticed they no longer allow non-members to view recordings. Which of course, I find utterly ridiculous. Most people I know jumped the Myspace ship long ago, it isn't fair to expect them to have to sign up all over again just to hear an occasional recording I post to Facebook or my blog. So, I started taking a closer look at SingSnap. I'd long ago stopped using SingSnap because they were locking more and more of their songs to paid members. But my frustrations with Myspace's changes led me to give them a try. I figured, I'll sign up for a one-month membership and see how it goes. If I like it, I'll pay for an annual (cheaper) membership.
Only one problem. For payments that small, I have to go through Paypal. Only semi-annual and annual memberships can be paid directly to SingSnap. That's totally understandable-- it's like the small mom-and-pop stores who require a minimum balance before they'll allow use of credit card as payment. The fees would eat them alive. And I have a Paypal account already verified and hooked up to a couple credit cards and my checking account, so no big deal, right?
Wrong.
I think something went wrong around the time I put in my Paypal password. I'm fairly certain I mistyped a key, but it was too late-- I'd hit "Enter" before I could fix it. No biggie, I thought. Most websites will give you an error message and let you try again. Most secure ones will probably lock you out after a number of failed attempts, but at least they allow you more than one attempt. Not so with Paypal. After my failed attempt, I logged in with my correct password, only to be met with a series of screens that indicated that my account was restricted.
What. The. Hell.
It was not that long ago that I attempted to use Paypal to make a payment, only to find out that because my account wasn't yet "verified", I couldn't send the money. The whole rigamarole of verifying my account was such a hassle! But I eventually got it verified and was able to complete my transaction... a couple days later. And I figured-- once verified, I should be good to go, right?
Apparently not. Now that my account was restricted due to "suspicious activity", I had to complete 3 tasks in order to restore my account. First I had to set some security questions. No biggie. Then I had to reset my password. This I wasn't too happy about, as I have a set pattern for passwords to different types of accounts, and this was going to break it. But okay, I can live with that, if begrudgingly. Finally, I had to verify my address. Oooh look-- it presented me with a number of options to verify the address. What's the fastest way?
First, I tried to select "verify by credit card". What should come up instead but a screen that showed my 2 stored credit cards, and an error message that said the card was either invalid or not found. WHAT CARD!? I wasn't even given an opportunity to select a freakin' card or enter any information!!!!!
Fine, let's try another option: oh, verify by mail. Nope, all that does is send me some instructions via snail mail. No thanks.
Ah, here we go: verify by phone. They'll call me and have me do some things. That should be instantaneous, right? Guess again... they won't accept cell phone numbers, and I don't have a landline. SOL on that front.
My only other option (besides waiting for the snail mail) was to upload a copy of my bank statement or some such that showed my name and address. Fortunately, online banking makes this a cinch, and I easily downloaded a PDF statement from my bank's website. But this verification process still takes at least a day on Paypal's end. Which meant that I could not complete my transaction that same night.
In the end, I resorted to paying SingSnap directly for an annual membership. I wanted the membership and I wanted it now, and I wasn't going to wait for Paypal to finish fucking around and restore my account. Fortunately, the SingSnap membership has been proving very worthwhile, but the whole experience with Paypal has left a very sour taste in my mouth.
I mean, think about it-- what triggered this "suspicious activity" alert? The fact that I entered the wrong password. Not multiple times, which may be indicative of a hacker, but ONCE. You know, because I'm only human and likely to make a mistake once in a while. Not very forgiving, if you ask me. And while I do understand that Paypal wants to protect the safety of my account, it's really not worth the added inconvenience. To add insult to injury, the series of pages I had to go through to restore my account were a joke. What few error messages they gave were totally useless and obviously buggy.
In short: Paypal offered the shittiest user experience I've ever seen. First, the whole hassle of restoring my account because I mistyped my password. Then, the restoration process itself was fraught with horrible UIs. So fuck you, Paypal. I only put up with you because there really isn't anything else out there, and because I do deal with occasional merchants that only accept Paypal. I just hope that you make the user experience of RECEIVING money a hell of a lot smoother than you the experience of SENDING it.
Grrrrrr....
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Brief weekend recap
Day 14 of NaBloPoMo, almost halfway through! Weekends in LA really don't leave me a whole lot to write about. I can only imagine how much worse it will be on Thanksgiving weekend :-P
Since Todd got Veteran's Day off school, he spent a nice long weekend at my parents' house. He came down with some sort of stomach bug on Wednesday, so the timing we pretty good. I headed down there on Saturday to take him to his dentist appointment (needed a filling). Then today he came down with a fever again :-( I returned to SB with the quietest, most sluggish Todd I'd ever seen. Usually, even when he's sick, he's got quite a bit of energy, but today he did nothing but go from vegging in the car seat to vegging on the sofa, watching TV. That's highly unusual for Todd, so he MUST have been feeling really poorly. We'll see what the morning brings.
While he was away, I spent some time catching up online karaoke. Because Myspace is being a bitch lately (especially since they no longer seem to allow non-members to view recordings), I decided to bite the bullet and try a membership on Singsnap. That entailed one of the shittiest user experiences I've ever encountered (on Paypal)-- more on that in a later rant on this blog. Anyway, so far so good on the Singsnap membership, even the duet feature works much more smoothly than Myspace's. Only got a few recent recordings up, but here they are: http://www.singsnap.com/snap/profile/recordings/b019ddb
Meanwhile, I've been whiling away more time catching up on damnyouautocorrect.com, which still never fails to produce literal laughs out loud. My ultimate favorite, however, is still this one:
http://damnyouautocorrect.com/15/god-is-the-big-vagina/
:-D
Since Todd got Veteran's Day off school, he spent a nice long weekend at my parents' house. He came down with some sort of stomach bug on Wednesday, so the timing we pretty good. I headed down there on Saturday to take him to his dentist appointment (needed a filling). Then today he came down with a fever again :-( I returned to SB with the quietest, most sluggish Todd I'd ever seen. Usually, even when he's sick, he's got quite a bit of energy, but today he did nothing but go from vegging in the car seat to vegging on the sofa, watching TV. That's highly unusual for Todd, so he MUST have been feeling really poorly. We'll see what the morning brings.
While he was away, I spent some time catching up online karaoke. Because Myspace is being a bitch lately (especially since they no longer seem to allow non-members to view recordings), I decided to bite the bullet and try a membership on Singsnap. That entailed one of the shittiest user experiences I've ever encountered (on Paypal)-- more on that in a later rant on this blog. Anyway, so far so good on the Singsnap membership, even the duet feature works much more smoothly than Myspace's. Only got a few recent recordings up, but here they are: http://www.singsnap.com/snap/profile/recordings/b019ddb
Meanwhile, I've been whiling away more time catching up on damnyouautocorrect.com, which still never fails to produce literal laughs out loud. My ultimate favorite, however, is still this one:
http://damnyouautocorrect.com/15/god-is-the-big-vagina/
:-D
Saturday, November 13, 2010
We're Just Like You (Only Prettier)
Yesterday I had fun recording Miranda Lambert's "Only Prettier" on Myspace karaoke. I had recently discovered the song while listening to the country stations on XM Radio, fell in love with it, and fell in love with the music video even more. Of course, since Myspace decided to restrict viewing of its videos to members only, and I know not everyone has a Myspace account (anymore), I had to extract the mp3 and post it on my Tumblr. Here it is, if you haven't seen the post already: http://heckledtrio.tumblr.com/post/1553581529
Now, most of my readers, I know, aren't really into country music and probably won't listen to the song. Fair enough. However, the music video is pretty awesome, and I highly encourage you to view it. If you really hate country music that much, just turn the volume all the way down. It's still a fun video to watch:
I loved that the 4 singers-- Miranda, Kellie Pickler, Laura Bell Bundy and Hillary Scott (of Lady Antebellum) played both the pretty-in-pastel, goody-two-shoes characters opposite their alter egos: the sexy, dressed-in-black, rebel bad girls. I thought the video was very well-done (and fun to watch!) in that regard.
But what I loved most about the video was the basic message of the song. It's sung mostly from the point of view of the "bad girls", but it reveals that deep down, these bad girls that society likes to judge and look down upon are really no different from the rest of us. That society judges people by their actions and outward appearances, when it's a person's character that truly matters.
Sound familiar? Martin Luther King Jr's "I Have a Dream" speech, perhaps? Mother Teresa reaching out to the world's poorest and most rejected? Jesus's basic message of extending love and compassion toward your neighbor, no matter who they might be?
At the end of the video, the girls have reached a sort of understanding-- instead of sneering and scoffing at each other, they give each other nods of understanding (if a bit begrudgingly) that they really aren't so different, after all. Not exactly embracing each other, Disney-ending-style, but at least it's a start. And I think that society would do well to begin down that path, too. To stop judging each other. That's God's job, because in the end, the person doing the judging is himself full of flaws and subject to the same judgment he passes on others. To realize that every person has dignity and worth deserves love and respect, not scorn and disdain. To actually treat each other with that love and respect.
It all goes back to my previous blog post on examining actions through the lens of love. Do your actions pass that test?
At the beginning of the video, both sets of girls were guilty of judging each other lovelessly. At the end, they started to see that such action was needless. And that's why I like the video-- it gives me some hope for humanity. Heaven knows we need a lot of it! ;-)
Now, most of my readers, I know, aren't really into country music and probably won't listen to the song. Fair enough. However, the music video is pretty awesome, and I highly encourage you to view it. If you really hate country music that much, just turn the volume all the way down. It's still a fun video to watch:
I loved that the 4 singers-- Miranda, Kellie Pickler, Laura Bell Bundy and Hillary Scott (of Lady Antebellum) played both the pretty-in-pastel, goody-two-shoes characters opposite their alter egos: the sexy, dressed-in-black, rebel bad girls. I thought the video was very well-done (and fun to watch!) in that regard.
But what I loved most about the video was the basic message of the song. It's sung mostly from the point of view of the "bad girls", but it reveals that deep down, these bad girls that society likes to judge and look down upon are really no different from the rest of us. That society judges people by their actions and outward appearances, when it's a person's character that truly matters.
Sound familiar? Martin Luther King Jr's "I Have a Dream" speech, perhaps? Mother Teresa reaching out to the world's poorest and most rejected? Jesus's basic message of extending love and compassion toward your neighbor, no matter who they might be?
At the end of the video, the girls have reached a sort of understanding-- instead of sneering and scoffing at each other, they give each other nods of understanding (if a bit begrudgingly) that they really aren't so different, after all. Not exactly embracing each other, Disney-ending-style, but at least it's a start. And I think that society would do well to begin down that path, too. To stop judging each other. That's God's job, because in the end, the person doing the judging is himself full of flaws and subject to the same judgment he passes on others. To realize that every person has dignity and worth deserves love and respect, not scorn and disdain. To actually treat each other with that love and respect.
It all goes back to my previous blog post on examining actions through the lens of love. Do your actions pass that test?
At the beginning of the video, both sets of girls were guilty of judging each other lovelessly. At the end, they started to see that such action was needless. And that's why I like the video-- it gives me some hope for humanity. Heaven knows we need a lot of it! ;-)
Friday, November 12, 2010
Website Woes
You know, it always sucks when a site that you're a member of suddenly changes things and actually takes away features. I know that when we make changes to our software, we're cognizant of the fact that a feature that many people may not like are actually appreciated by a small handful, and if we're going to remove it, we should at least make it optional. Same goes with things on Facebook-- features that I'm sure very few people use but that I've come to rely on, are suddenly gone. And it's annoying. And frustrating. Especially when things are already buggy and now I no longer have a fallback fix (i.e. manually refreshing the RSS feed for Notes when it doesn't do so automatically). But hey-- it's free, I don't pay for it, it works for the most part, so I don't have much in the way of complaints.
But when it's something I DO pay for, then I'm going to be a little more picky about it :-P
I'm a little disappointed with Myspace karaoke these days-- the new layout is extremely buggy (of course, that is nothing new for Myspace) and now they have it set so you can't even VIEW member recordings unless you're signed in. I can understand restricting the ability to rate/comment to members only, but simply VIEWING it? That's ridiculous. So now I'm contemplating Singsnap. I've got a free account there, but lately it means nothing because they've been moving all their good songs to members-only. Plus, it's twice as expensive as Myspace membership (only because I got a great deal on Myspace and snagged a membership when it was on sale, nearly 50% off. And when it came time to renew, they gave me the same discounted price! Props to Myspace for THAT, at least!). On the other hand, they make it easy to embed their video player onto websites, making it easier to share than Myspace recordings.
That, however, raises the question of where I would embed such a video-- on my blog, right? Hah. That opens up another can of worms:
I'm really starting to regret moving from Blogger to Wordpress a year ago. The only things Wordpress had that Blogger didn't were:
1) built-in nested comments
and
2) per-post privacy settings.
However, these days, nested comments aren't really useful anymore because hardly anyone comments on the blog itself, and there are simple ways around the privacy settings. Some other disadvantages: I have to actually PAY to customize the theme to my liking, I can't embed anything but YouTube into my posts, and I can't put in JavaScript anywhere in the page. Blogger allows you to do all that-- for free. Sigh. And now my one-year subscription to the CSS editing capabilities is about to expire. I bought it last year on sale-- Black Friday ;-) I think I'm going to hold off on renewing this year to see if they offer the sale price again after Thanksgiving ;-)
Actually, I think I'm going to first re-examine whether or not I even want to remain on Wordpress.com. I know, I know-- I had really hoped that last year's move to Wordpress would be my final one. Seems like I've packed up and hauled off to different blog forums as often as I've physically moved within Santa Barbara. Feels rather flighty, and really-- needs and priorities change, as do the different sites and what they offer. Maybe I should consider registering and hosting a domain name of my own, that way I can change the underlying blog app whenever I feel like it. Hmm, something to think about.
Decisions, decision... any input from you, dear readers?
But when it's something I DO pay for, then I'm going to be a little more picky about it :-P
I'm a little disappointed with Myspace karaoke these days-- the new layout is extremely buggy (of course, that is nothing new for Myspace) and now they have it set so you can't even VIEW member recordings unless you're signed in. I can understand restricting the ability to rate/comment to members only, but simply VIEWING it? That's ridiculous. So now I'm contemplating Singsnap. I've got a free account there, but lately it means nothing because they've been moving all their good songs to members-only. Plus, it's twice as expensive as Myspace membership (only because I got a great deal on Myspace and snagged a membership when it was on sale, nearly 50% off. And when it came time to renew, they gave me the same discounted price! Props to Myspace for THAT, at least!). On the other hand, they make it easy to embed their video player onto websites, making it easier to share than Myspace recordings.
That, however, raises the question of where I would embed such a video-- on my blog, right? Hah. That opens up another can of worms:
I'm really starting to regret moving from Blogger to Wordpress a year ago. The only things Wordpress had that Blogger didn't were:
1) built-in nested comments
and
2) per-post privacy settings.
However, these days, nested comments aren't really useful anymore because hardly anyone comments on the blog itself, and there are simple ways around the privacy settings. Some other disadvantages: I have to actually PAY to customize the theme to my liking, I can't embed anything but YouTube into my posts, and I can't put in JavaScript anywhere in the page. Blogger allows you to do all that-- for free. Sigh. And now my one-year subscription to the CSS editing capabilities is about to expire. I bought it last year on sale-- Black Friday ;-) I think I'm going to hold off on renewing this year to see if they offer the sale price again after Thanksgiving ;-)
Actually, I think I'm going to first re-examine whether or not I even want to remain on Wordpress.com. I know, I know-- I had really hoped that last year's move to Wordpress would be my final one. Seems like I've packed up and hauled off to different blog forums as often as I've physically moved within Santa Barbara. Feels rather flighty, and really-- needs and priorities change, as do the different sites and what they offer. Maybe I should consider registering and hosting a domain name of my own, that way I can change the underlying blog app whenever I feel like it. Hmm, something to think about.
Decisions, decision... any input from you, dear readers?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Veterans Day Ruminations
Happy Veterans Day! It's been 5 years since my military service officially ended, 9 years since I left active duty. Apparently old habits die hard, especially in the years immediately after finishing active duty. Like the time I walked across the UCSB campus with a group of friends, and we had to cross the huge lawn between Physical Sciences South and Physical Sciences North. It felt strange to step on the grass, because for the past several years I'd had it drilled into my head that stepping on the grass on a military installation while in uniform (unless it was a field specifically designed for things like PT and ceremonies) was strictly verboten. Allan, whom I'd just met, cracked up at the notion.
I've lost count of how many times I've used military-only terms (like VTC = Video Teleconference) with Allan, assuming it was a universal term, only to be met with a blank stare. Just the other day, I posted a status that made mention of "rain gear". It was more efficient than "umbrella/rain jacket", and didn't seem out of the ordinary to me until an old ROTC colleague laughed at it with the old "once a soldier..." adage.
I've always been fascinated by different countries'/cultures' takes on the military. Here in the USA, making the military your profession is regarded with great honor and admiration. But in countries like Germany, it's actually looked down upon. Most of the "Why on earth would you choose that?" questions came from our German friends. For them, it's a draft obligation, not a career. I don't know what the British attitude toward its military personnel is, but I do know that they don't live nearly as nicely as we do. Family friends who lived in places where women aren't allowed to serve in the armed forces wondered what my life was like, and when the movie "G.I. Jane" came out, they all imagined that that was what my experiences were like. Heh, not exactly! When a co-worker went to India to help with our efforts of opening up a new office in Bangalore, he posted a pic of this billboard, which I found fascinating, and made me wonder what India's take on the military-as-a-career is.
I often get asked why I joined the service. Well, it started out as curiosity more than anything. My senior year in high school, I made friends with some of the JROTC cadets, and they kept persuading me to try it out. Since I was about to graduate, I figured I'd give it a spin when I started college. The following year, I enrolled in the UCLA Army ROTC progam, and things just sort of blossomed from there.
I don't know how many of you have read Colin Powell's autobiography, but in it, he says that he felt rather aimless in college, when the cadets in uniform on campus caught his eye. He decided to try it out, and found that it was not only something he enjoyed, but excelled at. Well, it's pretty much the same thing with me. I found it was something I really enjoyed and became good at. But more than that, all that military and leadership training really helped bring me out of my shell.
After finishing my 4 years of ROTC, I received my commission into the U.S. Army Signal Corps, and after a few months of Officer's Basic Course at Ft. Gordon, GA, I spent the remainder of my 4 years of active duty stationed in Mannheim, Germany. (My subsequent 4 years were spent in the IRR-- Individual Ready Reserve). Being in Germany provided me a great opportunity to go back to my birth country and see old family friends, as well as tour the rest of nearby Europe.
One of the reasons I left was because all that uprooting every few years just didn't seem conducive to a stable family life. Unfortunately, I also left around the time I discovered what I truly enjoyed (my last position before finishing active duty was as the Battalion Adjutant (S-1), something akin to HR in the civilian world), and if I had stayed, I would've made the Personnel field my career track. And as much as I hated getting up at ungodly hours for morning PT, I have to admit that I did like the steady routine of the day. And I never had to wonder what I'd wear that day! ;-) So, there are days when I think about going back, and might consider it if I didn't already have a family and a pretty nice, stable life here in SB.
Was it worth it? Yes, definitely so. As I mentioned before, my experiences have really helped bring me out of my shell. I've always been very much an introvert, and still am-- but am more outgoing and sociable because of my military experience. Few jobs require as many in-depth people skills as being a military officer, so it was a very useful learning experience.
The military also possesses a unique culture-- something unparalleled in the civilian world. The importance of teamwork and effective team-building was brought home to me every single day, since that's a large part of what makes our armed forces so great. The camaraderie and close bonds formed between you and the people in your unit, the immense pride in the work you do, the limitless opportunities for self-development and self-improvement-- all are things you rarely find anywhere else, and things I cherish.
Overall, it was a good experience: I learned so many things and gained so many skills that you just don't get anywhere else, especially in the civilian working world-- at least not until you've worked for many years and moved up the corporate ladder. I enjoyed my time there, even if I didn't like the early-morning hours :-P Plus, I stayed in great shape then! :-D
Meanwhile, hats off to our country's veterans and current servicemembers, for helping to make this country as great as it is!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Candy
This post is partly inspired by a recent Plinky.com prompt, and partly by a recent shopping trip this weekend. Nothing fancy– just the usual errands, and a quest to find 1) white non-sheer knee-high socks and 2) hair shears. I’ve got my costume for next Halloween all planned out, and need white knee socks to complete the outfit. I also tried my hand at trimming my split ends this past week, and while that endeavor actually went pretty well, I noticed that my current hair shears are no longer as sharp as they used to be. I tell ya, though– it’s HARD to find white knee socks and hair shears in this town! I must’ve hit every drugstore between our place and the local K-Mart, to no avail! Gonna try my luck at Wal-Mart this weekend, while I’m down in LA for little man’s dental appointment. Wish me luck!
Anyway… that was a tangent. While at CVS, I came upon the bins of post-Halloween candy for sale. I grabbed up Twizzlers, Tootsie Rolls, Now & Laters and a 25-cent bag of candy corn. 4 decent sized bags of candy for under $3? Yes, please! :-D As I surveyed the mass of candy now in the house (keeping in mind that we still had leftovers from our own trick-or-treat giveaway stash, plus candy that was there even before Halloween), I started thinking about all my favorite candies and how I liked each one, and was surprised at how many of them I actually prefer STALE:
– Gummi Bears. This is one of the rare times when I’m a brand whore (anyone that knows me knows that I readily eschew brand names for store/generic brands in a heartbeat when it’s cost-effective). Haribo gummi bears simply cannot be beat. They’re okay fresh, but leave the bag open for a day or two and allow the bears to develop a chewy outer coat, and YUM.
– Red Vines. I prefer these to Twizzlers, but I can deal with Twizzlers on a bite-sized (i.e. Halloween fun-size packets!) basis. Either way, nothing beats the taste of a chewy, slightly stretchy piece of strawberry-flavored licorice that has been sitting out for a day or two.
– Marshmallows. I like my french fries with a crispy outer shell and a soft, mealy inside. Same goes for marshmallows– a perfect marshmallow for me is slightly hardened and chewy on the outside and soft and gooey on the inside. And bite-sized, not jumbo!
– Tootsie Rolls. I don’t know about you, but fresh Tootsie Rolls always seem to stick to my teeth far worse than stale ones. Does that happen to anyone else?
Then there are the rest of the favorites that my sweeth tooth gravitates toward, such as:
– Smarties (aka Rockets in Canada, Fizzers in the UK). I don’t know why, but I’m a sucker for pastel-colored, chalk-like candy. The kind that crumbles into a powder in your mouth like… well, chalk!
– Candy Corn. I like eating them in an orderly fashion– first the big yellow bottom, then the orange center, and finally, saving the best for last, the white tip.
-- LifeSavers Mints, particularly the Wint-o-Green (spearmint) flavor. Peppermint seems to strong for me, but spearmint possesses that perfect blend of sharp mintiness and sweetness. A couple times a year, I buy the big 3 or 5-pound bags of them at Wal-Mart, and keep them in my desk drawer at work :-D
And now that I have finished writing this post, I think I shall mosey into the kitchen and find some candy to nosh on :-)
How about you? What are some of your favorites?
Anyway… that was a tangent. While at CVS, I came upon the bins of post-Halloween candy for sale. I grabbed up Twizzlers, Tootsie Rolls, Now & Laters and a 25-cent bag of candy corn. 4 decent sized bags of candy for under $3? Yes, please! :-D As I surveyed the mass of candy now in the house (keeping in mind that we still had leftovers from our own trick-or-treat giveaway stash, plus candy that was there even before Halloween), I started thinking about all my favorite candies and how I liked each one, and was surprised at how many of them I actually prefer STALE:
– Gummi Bears. This is one of the rare times when I’m a brand whore (anyone that knows me knows that I readily eschew brand names for store/generic brands in a heartbeat when it’s cost-effective). Haribo gummi bears simply cannot be beat. They’re okay fresh, but leave the bag open for a day or two and allow the bears to develop a chewy outer coat, and YUM.
– Red Vines. I prefer these to Twizzlers, but I can deal with Twizzlers on a bite-sized (i.e. Halloween fun-size packets!) basis. Either way, nothing beats the taste of a chewy, slightly stretchy piece of strawberry-flavored licorice that has been sitting out for a day or two.
– Marshmallows. I like my french fries with a crispy outer shell and a soft, mealy inside. Same goes for marshmallows– a perfect marshmallow for me is slightly hardened and chewy on the outside and soft and gooey on the inside. And bite-sized, not jumbo!
– Tootsie Rolls. I don’t know about you, but fresh Tootsie Rolls always seem to stick to my teeth far worse than stale ones. Does that happen to anyone else?
Then there are the rest of the favorites that my sweeth tooth gravitates toward, such as:
– Smarties (aka Rockets in Canada, Fizzers in the UK). I don’t know why, but I’m a sucker for pastel-colored, chalk-like candy. The kind that crumbles into a powder in your mouth like… well, chalk!
– Candy Corn. I like eating them in an orderly fashion– first the big yellow bottom, then the orange center, and finally, saving the best for last, the white tip.
-- LifeSavers Mints, particularly the Wint-o-Green (spearmint) flavor. Peppermint seems to strong for me, but spearmint possesses that perfect blend of sharp mintiness and sweetness. A couple times a year, I buy the big 3 or 5-pound bags of them at Wal-Mart, and keep them in my desk drawer at work :-D
And now that I have finished writing this post, I think I shall mosey into the kitchen and find some candy to nosh on :-)
How about you? What are some of your favorites?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Does This Make Me Look Fat?
That is one of those trick "female" questions that never fails to confound men... or me.
Three things come to mind:
1. If you are asking this question honestly, then expect an honest answer. If you're just trying to fish for compliments, the you've got bigger issues than your dress size or perceived weight issues. And if you're just seeking some reassurance (as we're all wont to do sometimes), then make that clear, don't put your man on the spot with a loaded question!
2. Just because your man says "yes" to the question, does NOT mean that he's calling you a fat whale and telling you to lose weight (unless he says so explicitly, in which case, again, you've got bigger issues at hand). He's simply saying that this PARTICULAR outfit is not exactly flattering to you. The same can go for a variety of factors-- for example, just because the color of a sweater is wrong for your complexion, doesn't mean you're pale or sallow, it just means that you should wear a different color! Stop reading things into a very specific question about a specific outfit.
3. Related to the "honesty" thing above: lets say that you are indeed wearing an outfit that looks unflattering on you. Maybe the color is wrong for you. Maybe it has a plunging neckline and you don't have the cleavage to support it. Maybe it accentuates the bit of tummy roll from you last baby, instead of hiding it. Maybe you've done up your hair in a way that makes you look like a freak. Maybe your makeup is a little too strong or colorful. Would you rather have your man lie to you to spare your oh-so-fragile ego, and allow you to go out in PUBLIC, dressed like a fool? I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have my husband give my clothes (and combinations of them) a truthfully critical eye, thereby saving me the embarrassment of going outside wearing things that look blatantly awful on me!
I don't understand why this has to be such a contentious issue. While I concede that there are tactful ways to answer "yes" to the "does it make me look fat?" question, the bottom line is that if you ask the question, expect an honest answer. And if you don't want to hear the truth, don't ask the question! Simple as that.
Boy, am I glad I don't have to put up with women, at least not in the sense of long-term relationships :-P
Three things come to mind:
1. If you are asking this question honestly, then expect an honest answer. If you're just trying to fish for compliments, the you've got bigger issues than your dress size or perceived weight issues. And if you're just seeking some reassurance (as we're all wont to do sometimes), then make that clear, don't put your man on the spot with a loaded question!
2. Just because your man says "yes" to the question, does NOT mean that he's calling you a fat whale and telling you to lose weight (unless he says so explicitly, in which case, again, you've got bigger issues at hand). He's simply saying that this PARTICULAR outfit is not exactly flattering to you. The same can go for a variety of factors-- for example, just because the color of a sweater is wrong for your complexion, doesn't mean you're pale or sallow, it just means that you should wear a different color! Stop reading things into a very specific question about a specific outfit.
3. Related to the "honesty" thing above: lets say that you are indeed wearing an outfit that looks unflattering on you. Maybe the color is wrong for you. Maybe it has a plunging neckline and you don't have the cleavage to support it. Maybe it accentuates the bit of tummy roll from you last baby, instead of hiding it. Maybe you've done up your hair in a way that makes you look like a freak. Maybe your makeup is a little too strong or colorful. Would you rather have your man lie to you to spare your oh-so-fragile ego, and allow you to go out in PUBLIC, dressed like a fool? I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have my husband give my clothes (and combinations of them) a truthfully critical eye, thereby saving me the embarrassment of going outside wearing things that look blatantly awful on me!
I don't understand why this has to be such a contentious issue. While I concede that there are tactful ways to answer "yes" to the "does it make me look fat?" question, the bottom line is that if you ask the question, expect an honest answer. And if you don't want to hear the truth, don't ask the question! Simple as that.
Boy, am I glad I don't have to put up with women, at least not in the sense of long-term relationships :-P
Monday, November 8, 2010
Things I love (and don't love)
Over 5 years ago, I blogged a list of things I love, in the context of the 5 senses. I thought I'd revisit that list and update it, as well as add a little twist: things I *don't* love.
I love the taste of ripe strawberries, soft-boiled eggs with a sprinkling of salt, peanut butter with Nutella, liverwurst-and-lettuce sandwiches, coffee-flavored ice cream, batter-fried squid, soft, chewy dinner rolls, and crisp bits of tender pork fat that melt in your mouth.
I don't love the taste of ginger, processed coconut, black licorice, beer, black coffee, and most spicy... well, spices.
I love the smell of pages in brand-new books, freshly-brewed coffee, barbecues, freshly-baked bread, and clothes laundered in Tide.
I don't love the smell of vanilla/cocoa butter, most perfumes (because they're too overpowering), vinegar, smoke, and black licorice.
I love the feel of (the outside of) velour clothes, my bed after a long day, baby's soft skin/hair, smooshy pillows, my soft and cuddly stuffed tarantula, and stepping out of the shower onto a freshly-laundered bathmat.
I don't love the feel of clothes tight against my armpits, my unruly hair getting in my face, warm, dry wind, earbuds in my ears, dirty hands (I'm mildly OCD about washing them), jewelry on my hands (especially rings), and not having my neck and shoulders covered by a blanket as I sleep.
I love the sound of the pitter-patter of falling rain while I'm snugly indoors, the bustle of city life, upbeat country music, frogs croaking, my son's giggles, and heels clicking on a hard floor.
I don't love the sound of kids screeching, Santa Ana winds blowing, dogs barking incessantly, Harleys cruising by, and just about anything when I'm trying to sleep ;-)
I love the sight of big city skylines at night, neat and newly-cleaned living spaces, my son's smile, Rottweilers sitting regally, the views of cities from an airplane, and tropical beaches.
I don't love the sight of cluttered spaces, baby drool (not even my own son's), animal abuse, crooked parking jobs, and blatant grammatical errors.
How about you?
I love the taste of ripe strawberries, soft-boiled eggs with a sprinkling of salt, peanut butter with Nutella, liverwurst-and-lettuce sandwiches, coffee-flavored ice cream, batter-fried squid, soft, chewy dinner rolls, and crisp bits of tender pork fat that melt in your mouth.
I don't love the taste of ginger, processed coconut, black licorice, beer, black coffee, and most spicy... well, spices.
I love the smell of pages in brand-new books, freshly-brewed coffee, barbecues, freshly-baked bread, and clothes laundered in Tide.
I don't love the smell of vanilla/cocoa butter, most perfumes (because they're too overpowering), vinegar, smoke, and black licorice.
I love the feel of (the outside of) velour clothes, my bed after a long day, baby's soft skin/hair, smooshy pillows, my soft and cuddly stuffed tarantula, and stepping out of the shower onto a freshly-laundered bathmat.
I don't love the feel of clothes tight against my armpits, my unruly hair getting in my face, warm, dry wind, earbuds in my ears, dirty hands (I'm mildly OCD about washing them), jewelry on my hands (especially rings), and not having my neck and shoulders covered by a blanket as I sleep.
I love the sound of the pitter-patter of falling rain while I'm snugly indoors, the bustle of city life, upbeat country music, frogs croaking, my son's giggles, and heels clicking on a hard floor.
I don't love the sound of kids screeching, Santa Ana winds blowing, dogs barking incessantly, Harleys cruising by, and just about anything when I'm trying to sleep ;-)
I love the sight of big city skylines at night, neat and newly-cleaned living spaces, my son's smile, Rottweilers sitting regally, the views of cities from an airplane, and tropical beaches.
I don't love the sight of cluttered spaces, baby drool (not even my own son's), animal abuse, crooked parking jobs, and blatant grammatical errors.
How about you?
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Vinegar for your hair
About 3 months ago, Tabitha and I had a conversation on IM about using vinegar as a hair rinse. She shared this link with me: http://simplemom.net/how-to-clean-your-hair-without-shampoo/, and I proceeded to spend the next hour or so reading through all the comments, because they were the most valuable for giving feedback and advice from personal experience.
I perused other websites that included articles on using baking soda to wash the hair, and vinegar to condition it. I have to admit, I was intrigued. I read a lot of different websites about using no (or less) shampoo, and discovered that people used a variety of combinations to achieve this. On one end were people who used baking soda and vinegar. The people in between used either baking soda + normal conditioner or normal shampoo + vinegar. On the other end were those who still used shampoo and conditioner, but much more sparingly than they did before.
No matter the combination, I learned that all of them are based on one principle: washing your hair too frequently dries the hair out too much, causing the scalp to go into overdrive in producing oils to combat the dryness. Ironic, isn't it-- the more you wash your hair, the oilier it gets. I read about women whose scalps went through an "adjustment" period of dealing with greasiness as they got accustomed to not shampooing everyday anymore. I myself didn't go through such a phase, because I was already washing my hair relatively infrequently. I did, however, notice that once I started using conditioning shampoos and heavier conditioners (about a year ago), I had to wash my hair more frequently. Whereas I used to last 4 days between shampoos, now I was only lasting 3 days. Still, compared to everyday washers, it wasn't so bad.
So! I decided to take the plunge. I bought regular vinegar instead of apple cider vinegar because I'd read it was more conditioning, and for my thick, coarse hair, that sounded great. I mixed a tablespoon of baking soda with 8 oz of water for my "shampoo" and a tablespoon of vinegar with 8 oz of water for my "conditioner". Since I'd read somewhere that the key to someone's problem was her hard water, and since SB has hard water, I made sure to boil it so that it would dissolve all the baking soda.
My first shampoo and conditioning went pretty well. I was surprised at how much I could feel the vinegar smoothing my cuticles, once I applied it all over my hair. My initial fear of hair smelling like vinegar vanished when I rinsed the vinegar out. The smell disappeared almost the instant the water hit my hair. And the end results? Well, my hair was clean. And it was soft and smooth. Now, keep in mind that I'd been using Pantene regularly for the past few months, which had done a lot for smoothing my hair. I was curious to see what would happen once the baking soda and vinegar stripped all those silicones out of my hair. After a few weeks of baking soda + vinegar, my hair was still the same smoothness and shininess as before. It wasn't any MORE smooth/shiny, but not any less, either. Which meant that it worked about as well as Pantene... at a fraction of the cost! All right! :-)
After a while, I switched it up. Mostly because I was still swimming regularly by this point (I started this experiment during the summer) and wasn't sure if the baking soda and vinegar would be enough to get rid of all the chlorine. Up to that point, I was regularly using Albert VO5's Clarifying Shampoo and following it with Pantene shampoo and conditioner. Now I decided to still use the clarifying shampoo, but condition with the vinegar rinse. That seemed to work pretty well, too. So I stopped using the baking soda and I started to shampoo with the VO5 and condition with vinegar.
The key here, I think, is the amount I was using. When I used to wash my hair before, I'd have to wash it about 3 times in one go: twice with regular, cheap shampoo (to get all the dirt and oil out) and once with the conditioning shampoo. That wasted a lot of shampoo and took a long time in the shower. And of course, you remember what I said above about the effects of over-shampooing? Yeah...
Anyway, now, even though I switched back to using shampoo, there were two key differences:
1. I only shampooed ONCE. Of course, I didn't get as much lather as I used to, but lather doesn't mean clean. It's just an effect of the added chemicals.
2. I only used the clarifying shampoo. Alberto VO5 is my favorite for it. It's cheap and very, very effective.
Once I'd gotten into the new shampooing routine, I discovered something else: I could last longer between shampoos than before. Whereas 3-4 days was my maximum before, now I could go 5 days. Probably even longer, if I didn't go to the gym and sweat :-P
These days, I'm back to my normal conditioner. Mostly because I went through a phase of trying out so many different kinds (most of them in trial size, thank goodness) and want to use them up. But I no longer use the accompanying shampoo. I stick to the basic, cheap VO5 because it cleans really well without leaving buildup or drying my scalp out. And I only shampoo once. It saves me a lot of time in the shower. I take care not to get any conditioner in my scalp, and my hair stays clean and healthy for about 5 days. I could probably even stretch it to 6 days, if I wore my hair in a ponytail on the 6th day.
Basically, I've learned a couple of things:
1. The key to healthy hair is to NOT wash it so often! A couple times a week suffices.
2. Vinegar and baking soda work just as well as expensive shampoos and conditioners, and cost much much less.
So there you have it. Helly's adventures with hair. My year-long experiments with different shampoos and conditioners, in my quest to find the perfect ones for my hair, have boiled down to a few of the most inexpensive options. It saves time, it saves money, and it saves room in our bathroom shelves :-D
I perused other websites that included articles on using baking soda to wash the hair, and vinegar to condition it. I have to admit, I was intrigued. I read a lot of different websites about using no (or less) shampoo, and discovered that people used a variety of combinations to achieve this. On one end were people who used baking soda and vinegar. The people in between used either baking soda + normal conditioner or normal shampoo + vinegar. On the other end were those who still used shampoo and conditioner, but much more sparingly than they did before.
No matter the combination, I learned that all of them are based on one principle: washing your hair too frequently dries the hair out too much, causing the scalp to go into overdrive in producing oils to combat the dryness. Ironic, isn't it-- the more you wash your hair, the oilier it gets. I read about women whose scalps went through an "adjustment" period of dealing with greasiness as they got accustomed to not shampooing everyday anymore. I myself didn't go through such a phase, because I was already washing my hair relatively infrequently. I did, however, notice that once I started using conditioning shampoos and heavier conditioners (about a year ago), I had to wash my hair more frequently. Whereas I used to last 4 days between shampoos, now I was only lasting 3 days. Still, compared to everyday washers, it wasn't so bad.
So! I decided to take the plunge. I bought regular vinegar instead of apple cider vinegar because I'd read it was more conditioning, and for my thick, coarse hair, that sounded great. I mixed a tablespoon of baking soda with 8 oz of water for my "shampoo" and a tablespoon of vinegar with 8 oz of water for my "conditioner". Since I'd read somewhere that the key to someone's problem was her hard water, and since SB has hard water, I made sure to boil it so that it would dissolve all the baking soda.
My first shampoo and conditioning went pretty well. I was surprised at how much I could feel the vinegar smoothing my cuticles, once I applied it all over my hair. My initial fear of hair smelling like vinegar vanished when I rinsed the vinegar out. The smell disappeared almost the instant the water hit my hair. And the end results? Well, my hair was clean. And it was soft and smooth. Now, keep in mind that I'd been using Pantene regularly for the past few months, which had done a lot for smoothing my hair. I was curious to see what would happen once the baking soda and vinegar stripped all those silicones out of my hair. After a few weeks of baking soda + vinegar, my hair was still the same smoothness and shininess as before. It wasn't any MORE smooth/shiny, but not any less, either. Which meant that it worked about as well as Pantene... at a fraction of the cost! All right! :-)
After a while, I switched it up. Mostly because I was still swimming regularly by this point (I started this experiment during the summer) and wasn't sure if the baking soda and vinegar would be enough to get rid of all the chlorine. Up to that point, I was regularly using Albert VO5's Clarifying Shampoo and following it with Pantene shampoo and conditioner. Now I decided to still use the clarifying shampoo, but condition with the vinegar rinse. That seemed to work pretty well, too. So I stopped using the baking soda and I started to shampoo with the VO5 and condition with vinegar.
The key here, I think, is the amount I was using. When I used to wash my hair before, I'd have to wash it about 3 times in one go: twice with regular, cheap shampoo (to get all the dirt and oil out) and once with the conditioning shampoo. That wasted a lot of shampoo and took a long time in the shower. And of course, you remember what I said above about the effects of over-shampooing? Yeah...
Anyway, now, even though I switched back to using shampoo, there were two key differences:
1. I only shampooed ONCE. Of course, I didn't get as much lather as I used to, but lather doesn't mean clean. It's just an effect of the added chemicals.
2. I only used the clarifying shampoo. Alberto VO5 is my favorite for it. It's cheap and very, very effective.
Once I'd gotten into the new shampooing routine, I discovered something else: I could last longer between shampoos than before. Whereas 3-4 days was my maximum before, now I could go 5 days. Probably even longer, if I didn't go to the gym and sweat :-P
These days, I'm back to my normal conditioner. Mostly because I went through a phase of trying out so many different kinds (most of them in trial size, thank goodness) and want to use them up. But I no longer use the accompanying shampoo. I stick to the basic, cheap VO5 because it cleans really well without leaving buildup or drying my scalp out. And I only shampoo once. It saves me a lot of time in the shower. I take care not to get any conditioner in my scalp, and my hair stays clean and healthy for about 5 days. I could probably even stretch it to 6 days, if I wore my hair in a ponytail on the 6th day.
Basically, I've learned a couple of things:
1. The key to healthy hair is to NOT wash it so often! A couple times a week suffices.
2. Vinegar and baking soda work just as well as expensive shampoos and conditioners, and cost much much less.
So there you have it. Helly's adventures with hair. My year-long experiments with different shampoos and conditioners, in my quest to find the perfect ones for my hair, have boiled down to a few of the most inexpensive options. It saves time, it saves money, and it saves room in our bathroom shelves :-D
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Daylight Saving Woes
Just a few random tidbits as I get ready to turn in for the night :-)
Daylight Saving Time ending-- whose bright idea was THAT!? While enjoying an extra hour is nice, it's not worth it for six months of darkness. I mean, seriously-- for the next several months, before you even leave work at 5pm, it's already going to be dark out. That's pretty depressing-- to leave work and have it feel like it's already nighttime. Oh sure-- it's now light out at 5am instead of 6am, but I guarantee you that far more people are awake to enjoy daylight at 5pm than at 5am. So what gives? The days are already shorter as is with the advent of wintertime, so why not leave well enough alone? Add to it the fact that not all states switch between Standard and DST, and you've got some nice confusion going there :-P
I tried my hand at trimming my hair tonight. Wasn't a whole lot, just about a half inch to get rid of most of the split ends. I'm not sure I notice a major visible difference in my hair, but at least it still looks pretty even so far. We'll see what happens when I wash my hair tomorrow-- usually after my hair dries is when the difference between the damaged hair and healthy hair is most noticeable. This was the first time I ever trimmed any of my hair besides my bangs. It was a bit of an adventure, trying to make sure I got it all evenly, but I think the whole endeavor was enough of a success that I feel confident about doing so again regularly.
Speaking of trimming hair-- Allan is growing out a goatee. When we first met well over 7 years ago, he was already sporting one. He shaved it not long before we got married, and hasn't had facial hair (besides 3-or-4-day-old stubble) since then. We thought it would be fun to experiment and see what he looks like with one again, especially now that he has a lot more gray hair on both his head and in his beard ;-)
Why is it so hard to find a nice pair of plain white knee socks? I went to K-mart and Ross today, and came up empty-handed. All K-Mart had were the sheer stocking-type of knee-highs, and all Ross had were knee socks in different colors/patterns, mostly argyle. While they were cute, I'm really set on finding a white pair for my Halloween costume next year. I picked out a costume for myself and for Todd for next year. Gotta love the deep markdowns on holiday merchandise immediately following the holiday. I just hope that Todd doesn't change his mind between now and then :-P
Well, since DST doesn't warrant a clock fall-back for another couple hours, it'll be too late for me to take advantage of the "extra hour" and have more time to post this before Saturday officially ends, so I'd better wrap it up now. Good night!
Daylight Saving Time ending-- whose bright idea was THAT!? While enjoying an extra hour is nice, it's not worth it for six months of darkness. I mean, seriously-- for the next several months, before you even leave work at 5pm, it's already going to be dark out. That's pretty depressing-- to leave work and have it feel like it's already nighttime. Oh sure-- it's now light out at 5am instead of 6am, but I guarantee you that far more people are awake to enjoy daylight at 5pm than at 5am. So what gives? The days are already shorter as is with the advent of wintertime, so why not leave well enough alone? Add to it the fact that not all states switch between Standard and DST, and you've got some nice confusion going there :-P
******
I tried my hand at trimming my hair tonight. Wasn't a whole lot, just about a half inch to get rid of most of the split ends. I'm not sure I notice a major visible difference in my hair, but at least it still looks pretty even so far. We'll see what happens when I wash my hair tomorrow-- usually after my hair dries is when the difference between the damaged hair and healthy hair is most noticeable. This was the first time I ever trimmed any of my hair besides my bangs. It was a bit of an adventure, trying to make sure I got it all evenly, but I think the whole endeavor was enough of a success that I feel confident about doing so again regularly.
******
Speaking of trimming hair-- Allan is growing out a goatee. When we first met well over 7 years ago, he was already sporting one. He shaved it not long before we got married, and hasn't had facial hair (besides 3-or-4-day-old stubble) since then. We thought it would be fun to experiment and see what he looks like with one again, especially now that he has a lot more gray hair on both his head and in his beard ;-)
******
Why is it so hard to find a nice pair of plain white knee socks? I went to K-mart and Ross today, and came up empty-handed. All K-Mart had were the sheer stocking-type of knee-highs, and all Ross had were knee socks in different colors/patterns, mostly argyle. While they were cute, I'm really set on finding a white pair for my Halloween costume next year. I picked out a costume for myself and for Todd for next year. Gotta love the deep markdowns on holiday merchandise immediately following the holiday. I just hope that Todd doesn't change his mind between now and then :-P
******
All week I've been working with Todd on a poster for his book report on Monday. We got to break out his box of 64 crayons. Is it me or is there nothing quite so delightful as a nice big box of Crayolas? Who can resist the urge to take them out and start coloring? (I did wind up making a picture of my own-- watch for an upcoming Project 365 entry showcasing it) And am I the only one who likes to take out every variation of a particular color and test them out against each other before settling on the perfect shade for a particular coloring need? I tell ya-- I had a field day when it came to helping Todd select browns for the picture of the horses and wagon :-D
******
Well, since DST doesn't warrant a clock fall-back for another couple hours, it'll be too late for me to take advantage of the "extra hour" and have more time to post this before Saturday officially ends, so I'd better wrap it up now. Good night!
Friday, November 5, 2010
"Love Your Neighbor"-- that's all to it
A few weeks ago, our pastor did a sermon on love: the way you love God is to love people. 1 John 4:20-21 best sums it up:
If anyone says "I love God", yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother. (NIV)
It's a pretty straightforward verse, isn't it? And it basically sums up the core of what I believe about Christianity, the core of everything Jesus taught. Moses came down the mountain with 10 commandments, but Jesus reduced it to the most important: Love God (and in doing so, love your neighbor). Everything else follows from there. Seems simple, doesn't it? How on earth this basic message got twisted into the kind of fundamentalist rhetoric we associate modern-day "Christians" with today is baffling.
Allan and I had lunch with our friend Matt today, and wound up having a really interesting conversation on this concept: who are we, as mere, fallible humans, to decide what is and what is not sinful? Even the word "sin" itself carries such negative connotations that we really *shouldn't* be any position to tell anyone whether or not they are sinning. Instead of focusing on that, why not take a different approach when deciding whether an action is right or not? Simply examine it under a lens of love.
Matt gives a great example (which I'm paraphrasing and expanding on):
Is drinking alcohol a sin? By itself? No. But if I'm with a friend who is an alcoholic and susceptible to falling off the wagon if I drink around him, then my taking a drink now becomes an act of selfishness that winds up hurting my friend. That is not love. Or if I drink to excess, damaging my health, I am hurting myself. That is not love. Or if I drink irresponsibly and get behind the wheel, I wind up hurting an innocent pedestrian. That is not love.
This same lens can be applied to just about everything in life, including the current debates (and theme of my last couple of blog posts) about homosexuality.
I believe that any question that is asked (usually in a context of decrying it) of homosexual relationships can also be asked of heterosexual relationships. Just substitute the first few letters, and the issues are identical. If it is harmful and destructive in one, it is harmful and destructive in the other, and so is not love. The gender of the partner you're in a relationship with is irrelevant.
- If I bounced from one unhealthy, meaningless relationship to another, I'm hurting myself (and potentially the other person), regardless of whether it's a man or woman.
- If I had multiple sex partners to fill some sort of empty void in my life, it's destructive behavior whether I'm sleeping with a man or a woman.
- If I cheat on my husband, it's devastating to him regardless of whether my lover was male or female.
- And if I'm in a loving and committed relationship with someone who is my partner in all life endeavors, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health-- that sort of relationship IS healthy and IS about love. Whether it's heterosexual or homosexual.
I'd like to conclude with something Pastor Paul Raushenbush wrote at the end of his book, "Teen Spirit: One World, Many Paths", in answer to a person questioning which religion is "right":
"I stick with my core belief that God is love and that anything that is of love is of God. That's a good test for (people) of different faiths: Does their religion promote love? Hinduism (for example), believes in a supreme God and calls upon all people to revere and love all forms of life. For me, this passes the test."
To me, that's all there really is to it. Does it promote love? Or does it harm someone, whether it's yourself or others, physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually? That is the question. Everything else just naturally stems from the answer to that question. Love God, love your neighbor. Can't have one without the other.
If anyone says "I love God", yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother. (NIV)
It's a pretty straightforward verse, isn't it? And it basically sums up the core of what I believe about Christianity, the core of everything Jesus taught. Moses came down the mountain with 10 commandments, but Jesus reduced it to the most important: Love God (and in doing so, love your neighbor). Everything else follows from there. Seems simple, doesn't it? How on earth this basic message got twisted into the kind of fundamentalist rhetoric we associate modern-day "Christians" with today is baffling.
Allan and I had lunch with our friend Matt today, and wound up having a really interesting conversation on this concept: who are we, as mere, fallible humans, to decide what is and what is not sinful? Even the word "sin" itself carries such negative connotations that we really *shouldn't* be any position to tell anyone whether or not they are sinning. Instead of focusing on that, why not take a different approach when deciding whether an action is right or not? Simply examine it under a lens of love.
Matt gives a great example (which I'm paraphrasing and expanding on):
Is drinking alcohol a sin? By itself? No. But if I'm with a friend who is an alcoholic and susceptible to falling off the wagon if I drink around him, then my taking a drink now becomes an act of selfishness that winds up hurting my friend. That is not love. Or if I drink to excess, damaging my health, I am hurting myself. That is not love. Or if I drink irresponsibly and get behind the wheel, I wind up hurting an innocent pedestrian. That is not love.
This same lens can be applied to just about everything in life, including the current debates (and theme of my last couple of blog posts) about homosexuality.
I believe that any question that is asked (usually in a context of decrying it) of homosexual relationships can also be asked of heterosexual relationships. Just substitute the first few letters, and the issues are identical. If it is harmful and destructive in one, it is harmful and destructive in the other, and so is not love. The gender of the partner you're in a relationship with is irrelevant.
- If I bounced from one unhealthy, meaningless relationship to another, I'm hurting myself (and potentially the other person), regardless of whether it's a man or woman.
- If I had multiple sex partners to fill some sort of empty void in my life, it's destructive behavior whether I'm sleeping with a man or a woman.
- If I cheat on my husband, it's devastating to him regardless of whether my lover was male or female.
- And if I'm in a loving and committed relationship with someone who is my partner in all life endeavors, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health-- that sort of relationship IS healthy and IS about love. Whether it's heterosexual or homosexual.
I'd like to conclude with something Pastor Paul Raushenbush wrote at the end of his book, "Teen Spirit: One World, Many Paths", in answer to a person questioning which religion is "right":
"I stick with my core belief that God is love and that anything that is of love is of God. That's a good test for (people) of different faiths: Does their religion promote love? Hinduism (for example), believes in a supreme God and calls upon all people to revere and love all forms of life. For me, this passes the test."
To me, that's all there really is to it. Does it promote love? Or does it harm someone, whether it's yourself or others, physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually? That is the question. Everything else just naturally stems from the answer to that question. Love God, love your neighbor. Can't have one without the other.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Passive Discrimination
The title of this post is what started a brief conversation on Facebook between me and an old high school friend, regarding this news article he shared. This post also a bit of a follow-on to yesterday's post, in that it deals with people's attitudes toward those different from them or what they believe to be the norm. In yesteryear it was racism (though it still is an issue today, sadly), today it is discrimination against LGBT people.
There was someone once (I can't remember who) who said something along the lines of how he would rather deal with an overt racist (such as members of the KKK), yelling racial slurs at him, than a covert one. Because with the overt one, he was at least being honest about his feelings, you knew where he stood, and could deal with it accordingly. But what do you make of the covert racists, the people who display a smiling, polite veneer, only to stab you in the back later?
It's an interesting point. There are many people who don't consider themselves racist, or don't consider themselves discriminatory against homosexuals. Yet their actions (or lack thereof) say otherwise. When you turn a blind eye to obvious injustices, when you sit by and do/say nothing in the face of abuses, you are condoning that abuse. You are just as culpable as the bigot dishing it out.
And the worst part of it? As Mark points out: these teenagers (who are naturally vulnerable to begin with) are already receiving hateful messages from the overt abusers. Now bring in the people whom these kids normally look upon with respect-- parents, teachers, pastors, politicians, other influential adults. For these supposedly sane, moderate, polite adults (after all, they don't go yelling epithets or making threats) to sit silently by and do nothing, or worse yet, shrug it off, sends an even more painful message: that the targeted kids don't matter, ARE second-class citizens, and will never be accepted. That they agree with the bigots' message. And that *they* (the tormented teens) are the ones with the problem.
It's heartbreaking to think that the impact of such an attitude can do much more harm than the verbal sticks and stones hurled by bullies. That people in positions of authority, even though they don't outright verbalize any bigotry, convey that message even more powerfully when they condone it. Do they realize that just because they don't actively, outright SAY or DO anything discriminatory, it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't still BEING discriminatory?
That's passive discrimination. And it's far more insidious, in my opinion, than active discrimination. The people committing the latter can pretty much be dismissed for the lunatics they are, but the former? Such people wield influence and outnumber the latter. And that's scary.
So... think of your kids. Or the kids of someone close to you. Or any other loved one. Or even yourself. Think about what kinds of effects you can have by either acting indifferently to their problems (and thereby siding with the bullies)... or by providing love and support.
If only more people chose love and support...
There was someone once (I can't remember who) who said something along the lines of how he would rather deal with an overt racist (such as members of the KKK), yelling racial slurs at him, than a covert one. Because with the overt one, he was at least being honest about his feelings, you knew where he stood, and could deal with it accordingly. But what do you make of the covert racists, the people who display a smiling, polite veneer, only to stab you in the back later?
It's an interesting point. There are many people who don't consider themselves racist, or don't consider themselves discriminatory against homosexuals. Yet their actions (or lack thereof) say otherwise. When you turn a blind eye to obvious injustices, when you sit by and do/say nothing in the face of abuses, you are condoning that abuse. You are just as culpable as the bigot dishing it out.
And the worst part of it? As Mark points out: these teenagers (who are naturally vulnerable to begin with) are already receiving hateful messages from the overt abusers. Now bring in the people whom these kids normally look upon with respect-- parents, teachers, pastors, politicians, other influential adults. For these supposedly sane, moderate, polite adults (after all, they don't go yelling epithets or making threats) to sit silently by and do nothing, or worse yet, shrug it off, sends an even more painful message: that the targeted kids don't matter, ARE second-class citizens, and will never be accepted. That they agree with the bigots' message. And that *they* (the tormented teens) are the ones with the problem.
It's heartbreaking to think that the impact of such an attitude can do much more harm than the verbal sticks and stones hurled by bullies. That people in positions of authority, even though they don't outright verbalize any bigotry, convey that message even more powerfully when they condone it. Do they realize that just because they don't actively, outright SAY or DO anything discriminatory, it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't still BEING discriminatory?
That's passive discrimination. And it's far more insidious, in my opinion, than active discrimination. The people committing the latter can pretty much be dismissed for the lunatics they are, but the former? Such people wield influence and outnumber the latter. And that's scary.
So... think of your kids. Or the kids of someone close to you. Or any other loved one. Or even yourself. Think about what kinds of effects you can have by either acting indifferently to their problems (and thereby siding with the bullies)... or by providing love and support.
If only more people chose love and support...
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