The Great Inconsistent Sizing Conspiracy

Men have it easy. They don't succumb to female hormones. They don't deal with monthly visitors. They can pee standing up! And they can buy clothes (be it online or in a store) without having to try them on.

Unless it was for a pretty standard, no-frills piece of clothing like a plain T-shirt or sweatshirt, I dare not buy clothes online, where I do not have a chance to try them out. Allan, on the other hand, has it easy. He can buy pants because they are sized by waist and inseam, and he knows his measurements. He can buy shirts based on neck size and sleeve length. If those standard sizes don't fit, more often it's because of a change in his own physique, not because of a particular manufacturer.

Not so with women's clothing. It boggles the mind how widely and inconsistently women's sizing varies from one manufacturer to another. I can run the gamut from Small to Large, from size 4P to size 10, depending on the item of clothing and on the manufacturer. One company's size X is another company's size Y, which prevents me from ever giving a blanket answer to the question: "what size are you?" The answer is, quite honestly: "it depends". It's a tiny bit easier to estimate sizing when it's in terms of actual numbers instead of S/M/L/XL, but not much. And some brands even use ODD-numbered sizing instead of even (like Bongo jeans), giving me yet another range of numbers to keep track of :-/

Some clothing lines even accommodate differing stature among women, which is great because pants are a source of frustration for me: they either fit well but are too short, or are the right length but too loose. But even then, their versions of "tall" are inconsistent. Some are longer than others. I found this out when I ordered a pair of "tall" jeans from JCPenney, only to find them bunching around my feet, whereas the "tall" sizes in Bongo and Gloria Vanderbilt are a perfect fit.

This is true even of bras! You would figure that since bras are sized almost like men's clothing (by chest girth and cup size), it should be fairly consistent. Nope. Among varying brands I've also run the gamut from a 32 to a 38. And of course, cup sizes are never consistent because they hinge on the chest size. A 32A is not the same as a 38A (that is, assuming the latter can even be found!) There's another point: why do bra manufacturers assume that larger chest girth = larger cup size!?!? Not every flat-chested girl is a waif. Not to mention the fact that most women are asymmetrical and may need two different cup sizes at once! But that's for another rant... oh wait, I already did: http://blogs.grab.com/hellykwee/380443

So, what IS the deal with this vast inconsistency in sizing women's clothes? Is it just a conspiracy to get women to come into the stores to try on new clothes, thereby enticing them into purchasing more when they actually see it in the stores? Kinda like the impulse-purchase reason behind all the candy stocked at the checkout counters.

It is annoying, to say the least. I envy Allan's ability to pick up a shirt or pair of jeans, examine the label and then throw it into his shopping cart. No wrestling out of his clothes and shoes in a dinky little dressing room. Sigh... it's not penis envy, it's clothing-shopping envy! ;-P