Moving reunions

Do you ever see those scenes in movies where two loved ones are reunited after a long separation? Those scenes tend to be full of emotion and usually a swell of heartfelt background music crescendos as the long-lost parties meet and embrace. Especially when the reunion is a surprise to at least one of them. Then you get the full treat of their reactions.

Well, I'm not much of a sucker for such scenes. Sure, they are pleasant enough, and if they tie in with a happy ending to the movie, so much the better. I like happy endings, after all. But shedding a tear? From hard-hearted Helly? Not likely.

Unless it's in real life. And you know the parties involved. Let me backtrack.

Since about the beginning of the year, a man (I'll call "B") joined our church's congregation (mind you, this was well before we ever joined). He is a Fulbright scholar, here from Kenya to get a graduate degree at UCSB. His first quarter here was understandably difficult. New country, new school, new surroundings, and far away from his loved ones. Harder still was the fact that his children were grown and leading lives of their own, leaving his wife alone at home in Kenya. Then he stumbled upon our church, and was welcomed with loving arms. Although things got better for him, it was clear how much he still missed his family. Wouldn't you, in his shoes?

Cue to last Sunday. B was invited on stage to casually teach us some elementary verses from worship songs in Swahili. It was a lot of fun, and we got some good giggles at most everyone's inability to pronounce some of the more complicated words. Then our pastor gave us a bit of background info on B, explaining how he came to the US and what his current situation was. He emphasized how important it was that B's wife should be here with her husband, and asked the ushers to take up another collection of donations to help fly his wife in from Kenya.

But before they could get the collection plates out, our pastor put his arm on B's shoulder, looked at him solemnly (but with a twinkle in his eye), and confessed: "I haven't been completely honest with you. I'm afraid I've been a bit deceitful" You could practically HEAR everyone leaning forward in their seats wondering what would happen next.

And then he dropped this bombshell:

"Your wife isn't actually in Kenya", while pointing to the entrance in the back. In unison, our heads turned around to see the doors open and... B's wife step in!

Although there was no music, I'm sure many of us heard it in our heads as B stepped down from the pulpit and his wife made his way up the aisle. The two met in the middle and embraced. The look of sheer surprise, shock and joy on B's face was a wonder to behold. I can only imagine what went through his head as he saw his wife for the first time in almost a year, and so unexpectedly! We all rose to our feet and thundered applause as they repeatedly embraced and B kept stepping back to look at his wife in wonder, as if he were thinking "Is this for real!?"

It was a sweet moment to savor. And it brought a tear to my eye. Very little in life does that to me. And I think it's safe to say I got to witness a moment I won't easily forget. Have you hugged your loved ones lately?

Pigs might fly

I just looked out the window and saw a winged pig fly by. Then I looked up the current weather report for Hell, and it was a bone-chilling 20 below zero.

Never thought I'd rue the day. But... Allan has blogged!

...

Yep, you heard me right. I'll just let that little bit of amazement sink in.

Still there? Good. And just to promote this rare occasion, I just HAD to pimp his blog on my own. Read on, and leave a comment to make him feel loved:

Washer and dryer-- and a little quiz!

:-D

Friday Five -- Randomosity and a little rant

1. Who lets you have your way more than you should?
2. According to the cliche, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but what’s the way to yours?
3. What’s something that should have been put away but hasn’t been?
4. When did you last weigh yourself?
5. What do the cops in the donut shop say? :D

BONUS: Apparently it's that time of year again (that talk like a pirate stuff). Do you follow it?

1. I'm pretty spoiled :-) I would say: my parents when I was younger, and my hubby today :-D

2. Stomach works, too. Helly's all for good food. But topping the list even above food is sleep/rest. So... the way to my heart is through my... pillow?

3. The dishes! And Todd's clothes. It's amazing how much havoc one tiny little kid can wreak. He's like the Tasmanian Devil-- always a whirlwind that leaves messes in his wake. Times like this I fail to understand how people can willingly have more than ONE child, especially when the first child is a boy!!

4. At our Tech Retreat 2 weeks ago. I was showering in the hotel's gym after spending all day soaking in the jacuzzi. I was quite a few pounds heavier than I normally am, which is no surprise-- the exercise I've been able to get at our new apartment, has been building muscle!

5. "I hope nobody catches us here, or else we'll end up the butt of someone's joke... or worse yet, the object of a silly Friday Five questionnaire!"

BONUS: That would be a resounding HELL NO!! I think whoever invented it needs to be skinned alive. Or subjected to whatever tortures real pirates used to dole out back in the day-- see how much they love and glorify pirates after that! I can't stand this mockery of a "holiday". It amazes me how one parodic idea can have such a cult following and turn hordes of people into blubbering, annoying idiots at the drop of a hat (or the stroke of midnight?). I mean, seriously? Who thinks saying "yarrrr" and "shiver me timbers" all freakin' day is cool or something other people want to hear? Grates on the nerves, it does...

I love my bank

Because of my military service, my spouse, my offspring and I are all eligible to be members of USAA (which originally started as an automobile insurance company for U.S. servicemembers, and has since branched out to offer other insurance, as well as banking and investment services). We get unbeatable rates on our car insurance, and great perks when it comes to banking. We also get discounts on various shopping needs, most notably, car rentals. Unlike a lot of places, their customer service is above par. Not for nothing do they frequently make the top of Consumer Reports' "best customer service" lists.

Anyway...

Today I received an automated phone call from their fraud prevention department, questioning a $600+ charge placed on our credit card, to some computer game store in Arizona. Of course we never made such a purchase. When I spoke to a live security rep, she informed me that it was an actual swiped transaction, meaning someone hadn't just entered our numbers into an online purchase-- they actually got the card info and MADE a fake credit card for an actual, physical transaction at an actual, physical store. They quickly deactivated the card, told us to cut ours up so we could expect new ones in the mail next week. I was a little disappointed to learn that they wouldn't notify us of progress in the fraud investigation, I was curious to know how it would turn out. But that's just me and my morbid curiosity :-)

What impressed me was the speed with which we were contacted when the transaction took place and alerted suspicion. I wonder what exactly about the transaction raised a red flag in the first place. Maybe the fact the last time I used this card was just 2 days ago, and now a new charge was taking place 500 miles away? Or the fact that we don't routinely place huge charges on the card, so $600+ was a big leap?

No matter-- I'm glad they did. The charge could've gone unnoticed for several days if they hadn't called. I'm usually pretty vigilant over verifying each of our banking transactions, but I don't check our accounts every single day. I'm also pretty diligent about obtaining and scrutinizing my free credit report, one from each agency spread out over 3 times a year. Note to my American friends: if you aren't already taking advantage of this free service, you should!

I hope they eventually nail whoever did this, and make them pay! I feel sorry for whoever has to eat the loss. Either the computer store or USAA. And ultimately, I find it ironic that as much as I use my credit card and bank online, the FIRST time my card is used fraudulently (and wasn't physically stolen) was with a "spoofed" card in a physical, offline transaction.

I also have an amusing (unrelated) story about a snail-mail phishing scam (yes, you read that right: SNAIL mail), but that's for another entry...

At least you keep your tibia

Had a meeting yesterday in one of our other buildings. As the time approached, I looked up the building floorplan on our intranet to figure out where the conference room was. But what immediately captured my attention was the location of the kitchen, for it had a huge read heart with a lightning zap going through it.

Broken heart? I mused. This must not be the place to go if you don't want your relationships doomed.

So I hovered my mouse over the heart symbol, and sure enough, a description popped up. This is what it said:



Okay, I've heard of a defibrillator, but what is a defibulator? The first thing that sprang to mind was some sort of gruesome device that removes your fibula. Be grateful that it at least spares you your tibia? Or maybe it's not a device but some sort of cyborg/android dude much like the Terminator. *in heavy accent* "I am the Defibulator. Say good bye to your leg bone. I'll be back!"

Yes. I know I am easily amused :-P Don't tell me that at least half of you didn't find it funny, too, and conjure up your own images of what a "defibulator" could possibly be!

Sleeping separately

I read an interesting article on CNN today, called "We're married, sleeping separately". Here's the link-- have a gander:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/09/12/lw.sleep.alone.when.married/index.html

The article piqued my interest because that's the exact arrangement Allan and I have now. It inadvertently started when Todd began living with us full time, and the lack of space forced Todd to share the queen-sized bed with Allan while I slept on the futon in the living room. It's the primary reason that we selected a memory foam mattress for our futon-- it gets more use as a bed than as a sofa.

When Todd returned to LA at the beginning of the summer, we realized that sleeping together was tougher than we anticipated, for a myriad of reasons:

1. (the paramount reason) I'm a sensitive sleeper. I wouldn't say I'm a light sleeper, exactly, but I am more sensitive to movements, light and noise that are more likely to awaken me than your average person.

2. Allan moves around fairly violently in his sleep, shaking the bed enough to wake me sometimes.

3. Allan doesn't snore often, but when he does, it's LOUD. Again, see #1.

4. Allan tends to be an earlier riser than me. Not because he goes to bed earlier-- we usually conk out at the same time, but because he gets by on less sleep than I do. Now combine all the elements I described in #1 (light, movement, noise) and you'll see they're all prevalent when he gets up before I do.

Sleeping in separate beds solved all of the above. AND it allowed us to set our own sleep schedules.

So I can definitely relate to all the couples interviewed in that article. I disagree with what one psychologist says, about warning that sleeping separately spells trouble in a marriage: "My feeling is that sleeping together is a very, very important part of being integrated with each other." Not necessarily. Couples do many things together and a few things on their own. So long as the latter doesn't outnumber the former, then sleeping can be one of those "separate" things-- as long as most everything else is done together. And even then, a little "alone" time now and then is healthy, and, I believe, vital.

Look at it: eating, talking, watching TV, going out-- I'm sorry, but those activities are far more likely to bring you closer together and "integrated" with each other, because you're actively involved. Sleeping? As one guy in the article pointed out, when you're asleep, you don't know there's anyone there, anyway!!

I'm reminded of an episode of "King of Queens", where Doug and Carrie have to sleep in separate twin beds while their larger bed is being repaired. Enthralled with their newfound "freedom", they start doing everything separately, to the point of planning out separate vacations. Now THAT is going too far. But that also has nothing to do with sleeping together-- what's the use of sharing the same bed if Doug is going to Ohio while Carrie goes to Florida, for summer vacation? In that case, the sleep arrangements are just one more symptom of a deeper underlying problem.

For us, sleeping separately has far more benefits than disadvantages, we're happy with the arrangement, and do practically everything else as a couple. So poo-poo to those who think there's something wrong with it. It works for us, and we couldn't be happier... or healthier!

Summer vacation is over

Wow, what a busy several days it's been. And it promises to be another busy week, now that Todd's back with us full-time :-) Summer vacation is over! But at least it ended with a bang :-)

So, I left off my last blog post anticipating our work's annual Tech Retreat, in which the entire engineering department (nearly 200 people) goes somewhere overnight to blow off some steam.

This year, we headed up to Pismo Beach (about 1.5 hours north) to partake of some team-building exercises reminiscent of "Amazing Race" (anyone ever see that TV show?). Essentially, we were split into about 17 teams of around 8-10 people each, and given 5 hours to complete 7 missions. A bit of strategizing was required to ensure we completed them all successfully within the allotted time.

Our missions? Involved a variety of talents. Building sand castles and taking photographs took some creative skills. The four-person bicycle relay race and kayaking required physical strength. Throwing frisbees through small targets entailed a bit of hand-eye coordination. Finding the answers to the quiz made us put our thinking caps on. And eating oyster shooters? That took a bit of nerve-- and stomach (and for me, dousing my fresh, raw oyster in plenty of sauce)!

Our team did reasonably well. We came in 2nd place for fastest time to finish the 4-person-bike race, and we won the sand-castle building competition, hands-down! Not only was our creation the longest, but it was the most fantastical-- instead of creating an actual structure, our "castle" evolved into a beached dragon (sea monster?) complete with stone eyeball and teeth!

We wound down the evening by heading off to our hotel rooms (we stayed at the Cliffs Resort, a boutique hotel) for some serious scrubbing down. That's when I discovered my face was quite sunburnt! We enjoyed dinner and casino night (fake money, of course). I didn't play, but I did have fun wandering from table to table, watching everyone else play.

Next morning, I realized just how physically exhausting the previous day had been, running around the beach all day. I was so stiff and sore I decided to skip what Allan and I had originally planned for Friday-- a trip to Hearst Castle. Which is too bad, since I'd never been there before, and it was a free trip, but I would never have survived all that walking and stair-climbing the tour would've entailed. Instead, Allan went by himself and I slept in till checkout time, and then just hung out by the pool, spending quite a bit of time soothing my aching muscles in the jacuzzi. I think if I didn't have to drive to LA that same night, I might've chanced the Hearst Castle tour and just spent the weekend recuperating.

Anyway... picked up Todd and brought him back Saturday night. Sunday we had a barbecue on the beach (no! not more SAND!) for Todd's school, where Todd met one of his classmates and proceeded to have a blast playing with his new friend in the sand and on the playground. We got to chat with the boy's parents, and got along pretty well.

And then... drumroll... Todd's first day at school today! He looked adorable in his uniform. Although after dropping him off this morning, I realized he was the only boy wearing a white polo shirt-- all the other boys (and most of the girls) wore burgundy. Yes, I was the silly mother who decided it would be a good idea to stock her rambunctious little boy's closet with half burgundy shirts, and half white shirts-- where inevitable stains show much better! D'oh! Well, when it comes time to buy bigger shirts for him, I will do it the right way then :-P

There are only 6 kids in Todd's class, 3 boys and 3 girls. Good mix, methinks. And it turns out that although he is the youngest in his class, he is also the tallest. How's that for a combination? At least he won't be intimidated by any of his classmates ;-)

Ok... one more hour till we go pick him up, find out how he did on his first day, have lunch, and drop him off at after-school care for the rest of the afternoon. And so another busy week begins...

Week's recap

Wow... busy week behind us, busy week ahead of us. Thought I'd recap it now before the weekend's over. Seems strange to be thinking of the weekend already when it's barely Wednesday, but in a moment you'll see why.

Friday night was an impromptu game night at John Paul and Leah's house-- pretty much our last kid-free opportunity to do so. Saturday night, joint birthday celebration for Davey and Matt. Sunday, instead of heading out to our usual restaurant after services, we hit Davey and Cherise's place for homemade breakfast = fundraiser for their mission trip to the orphanage in South Africa.

Enjoyed Monday's holiday off. I slept :-) Allan went by himself to see "Tropic Thunder" with our friends. Apparently I didn't miss much.

Tuesday: first day of school. Todd won't start till next week (more on why in a bit), but last night we had dinner with the other Kindergarten parents, kids, headmaster and deacon of Todd's new school. It was nice to get to meet everyone. Todd's class will be small-- there's only 6 of them in grade K, 3 boys and 3 girls.

Wednesday: tonight we're having part 1 of our church's "Four Course Connection"-- basically, every week a group of 8-10 of us gather in someone's home, bringing part of a meal course. This is the first week, so it's appetizers/finger foods. We're going with the classic sliced tomatoes+mozzarella, drizzled in olive oil and sprinkled with fresh basil and ground pepper.

Tomorrow morning we head out to our work's Tech Retreat. We'll stay at Pismo Beach, where Thursday will consist of team-building activities, and Friday is choose your own activity (kayaking, Hearst Castle, wine tasting, or Hummers on the dunes). We chose to tour Hearst Castle. I'm not much for wine, I don't do adventure sports, I hate sand, and I've already driven a REAL Hummer. Besides, I haven't seen Hearst Castle :-) Anyway, since we're out of town Thursday and Friday, we decided to keep Todd in LA an extra week, which is why he's starting school a bit later.

Friday evening we get home and after a brief rest for dinner, I gotta head to LA to pick up little man and bring him back Saturday evening. Sunday afternoon is the school's welcome-back barbecue at the beach, and then Monday morning our summer vacation is over. We settle back into the family routine of work, school and child care.

So... no Friday Five this week. Which is a bummer because it's Jenna's birthday then (Happy Birthday!) and it'd be a perfect time to do a birthday-themed Friday Five. Probably no blogging until a week from now, as each day will be jam-packed with activity until then. Maybe I can do a belated "Friday Five" next week ;-)

Till then!

Urban Dictionary

Swiped from Scot's blog. A little risque, yes, but all in good fun :-)

Instructions: Go to urbandictionary. com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the FIRST definition it gives you...

Of course, knowing me, I like to bend the rules a little, and so am going to ignore that last bit about giving the FIRST definition, and instead choose the one that happens to tickle my fancy the most :-)

1) Your name?
Helly: "Whiny, pre-pubescent little punk"

2) Your age?
31: "knicknamed 31 for the term reggie miller bud...known for giving headaches, body pains and sleeping disorders..." Question: what the heck is a "knickname"? ;-)

3) One of your friends?
Ingrid: "Verb: - To do something that make you a slacker. Noun: - A slacker in its purest form." I think she'd laugh extra hard at this ;-)

4) What should you be doing?
Napping: "see Heaven zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" Ah yes... heaven, indeed :-)

5) Favorite color?
Orange: "The colour which vain assholes turn after a session in the tanning salon; Often confused with Hepatitis." Ewwwwww!!!

6) Hometown?
Sylmar: "Most ghetto place on earth. Home to the most rapists and criminals in all of California. Second in white trash only to Riverside. Known for many homosexual residents." This made me laugh extra hard!

7) Month of your birthday?
May: "The last name of the guitarist for Queen." I thought Allan might appreciate that one ;-)

8) Last person you talked to? Allan
I honestly couldn't decide which definition was funnier, so I am posting both:
-- "A guy who is always charming people to get out of trouble. Usually very fliratious with the females but deep down just wants a stable relationship with a chill girl. Very goodlooking and quick witted. "
-- "An unusually large fellow who represents homosexuality and an odd affection for wild animals. One allan might often lie or gather belongings so called "cool" to gain popularity yet still loathed by the public."

9) Where are you right now?
Santa Barbara: "Sounds like paradise but only if your visiting... trust me it gets boring after a while." Hehehe-- not quite true, but it IS a small city compared to what I'm used to.

10) Your nickname?
Well, typing in "Helly Belly" didn't yield anything, so I'm just gonna go with:
Belly: "Nickname for a fat guy. What you fill up when eating or drinking. What you get if overeating. "