On Friendship and Traveling Pants

I just finished reading the "Traveling Pants" series-- a set of 4 books that began with "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", and follows 4 friends and their summer adventures throughout high school and the first year of college. I will admit that by the 4th book, the story line is pretty predictable: girl wrestles with something tumultuous, doubts herself, and then figures it out and all is well with the world again by the end of the story. Still, since they are sequels, it's nice to see the characters develop and some of the original story lines continue.

Anyway, the thing that struck me the most about this book was the enduring friendship of the 4 main characters-- girls who were all born around the same time, and who have been friends their whole lives. No matter what happened with their lives, no matter what they did, that friendship always transcended everything, and served as their lifeline when they were adrift. Your friends are always there for you, willing to drop everything to come to your aid when you most need it.

It struck me that I'd never HAD that kind of friendship before. These days, my husband is my best friend, of course, and we relate to each other as best friends do. But... that's sort of the way it's supposed to be. Yet for me, such close friendships outside of my marriage simply do not exist. Oh sure, I've had plenty of friends that know me reasonably well and that I have fun hanging out with. But I've never really had a close girlfriend. One that I could confide the deepest recesses of my soul in, one that I could just feel comfortable being myself with-- the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It makes me a bit wistful when I read books or see movies where such close friendships are a prevalent part of the story. I guess, in a way, it's romanticizing something I've never had, something I sometimes long for. And it's a big part of why I enjoyed the Traveling Pants books-- the bond these girls had was something I had never experienced firsthand, so I liked reading about it. It's almost as if I was experiencing it, vicariously, through them. I don't know if I'll ever experience a friendship like that in real life. But if I don't, I guess I can always enjoy reading about it! :-)

On a side note, I went on Netflix to see if they had the movie version of the book (it's in my DVD queue now). However, I can't believe they cast Alexis Bledel in the role of Lena. She is soooo not what I pictured Lena to be! I mean, she's pretty, but Lena is supposed to be breathtakingly gorgeous. Well, maybe her acting will make up for it. We'll see...

Singing

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I like to plan ahead when it comes to karaoke. And I don't mean just jotting down some ideas of songs that would be good to sing, and taking that list with me. No, I take it a few steps further: first, I find the song online and figure out how close it is to my own range, so I can tell the KJ how high or low to adjust the key. Then I try it out, see how well I know it. If I'm close, I practice it a bit. And if the song is something I'm still a bit unsure of, or is maybe a slower song that won't go over well when it's crowded, I pick that song as my first one. Get it out of the way with while there aren't that many people there.

Anyway, I usually stick to picking songs that I know I can do reasonably well. Either ones I've done before, or ones that I know so well I can make a go of it. The few times I've gone up on stage to do a song I wasn't 100% comfortable with, I dragged someone else with me (usually Tabitha, who's a better singer than I am) for courage and to help mask out the uncertain parts.

Well, during our trip to OTT last week, I discovered something else. It's a no-brainer that I can sing a song well if I'm really familiar with it. But what I didn't realize is that if I'm a bit UNfamiliar with a song, that works to my advantage as well. Because I'm familiar enough with it to get the general gist of the song, but unfamiliar enough that I can actually improvise the parts I don't know. Contrast this to a song that I'm familiar with yet don't know the nuances in pitch well enough to successfully sing on my own. I don't get all the notes correctly, yet the song is "too familiar" for me to improvise. So... in this case, greater ignorance (if you can call it that) is actually a good thing.

One of the karaoke regulars that Tabitha and I used to see at Zodo's was at OTT last week, and he wanted to do "Love Shack" with Caroline and me. Unfortunately, Caroline had to leave before we got to our turn, so it was just me and him. I was a bit apprehensive, because the girl part in "Love Shack" fit well into "familiar yet unfamiliar" territory. But, it was a silly song, and my partner was having all sorts of fun with it, so I figured-- what the heck. And, to my surprise, we actually rocked it! I have no doubt that I sang some parts differently from the original, but it didn't sound too awful, and we had a lot of fun with it. It was also the first time I actually danced a bit while on stage.

I think it's pretty neat that the one song I've enjoyed singing the most out of all my times on stage was the one I was the least prepared for. And really, isn't that the essence of karaoke? Get up there and just have FUN.

So I've decided that for our next trip in December, I'm not going to come armed with my usual long list. I mean, yes, there's a couple of tunes I already have in mind, but this time I think I'll wing it some more and see what comes. See what songs I get suckered into joining in with by my friends :-)

Only One

When couples get married, it usually isn't long before they start getting pestered with the "when are you having kids?" question. And when they eventually have a kid, their respite is brief. It isn't long before they're peppered with the next question: "when are you having another one?"

Well, for us it's pretty much always been straightforward: never. And when Todd was 4 years old, we sealed the deal. So unless the highly-experienced urologist didn't do his job correctly, this is it for us.

Don't get me wrong-- we considered it when Todd was younger. And even now, I sometimes get pangs of wishing that Todd had a playmate near his own age, so that he doesn't always have to substitute stuffed animals for friends. Case in point, a recent morning when I awoke to find Todd in the midst of a riveting Monopoly game with a skunk, a dog and an octopus:

Poor kid!

But we realized early on that one was going to be enough for us. A two-working-parent-home is hard enough, and we have a LOT of help from my parents! What other parents get to foist off their kid on the grandparents for 3-4 months out of the year? I couldn't imagine how we'd handle more than one kid.

Not to mention that this kid is a handful. I've slowly come to realize that compared to a lot of other kids out there, he's relatively mellow, and I should be grateful. But he's still a whirlwind on his own. Everyone seems to think he's this nice, pleasant, obedient kid, but no, he's got everyone fooled :-P I firmly believe that the reason little kids seem to have boundless energy is because they suck it all up, through the air, from surrounding grownups, i.e. their parents. This explains why a kid will be jumping up and down at bedtime while Mom and Dad can barely lift themselves off the couch to get him TO bed.

And finally, kids are EXPENSIVE! I've done some figuring, and he costs us about $1500-$2000 a month. Can you imagine a second set of such expenses!? We'd be driven to the poorhouse in no time! :-P I mean, okay, yes, the large majority of that expense comes from his school and his extracurriculars, but honestly? He's really blossoming and thriving where he is, something he wouldn't do in a school with a larger class size. So... it's worth the money. But it also leaves us cautious about watching our resources, and a second child would only upset that balance.

Besides, I always maintain that while Allan only has one child, I am a single mother of two boys. Why would I want to deal with a third one? ;-)

Chocolate

As I type this, I am crunching on a bag of peanut M&Ms that Allan sneaked out of the pantry after I tucked Todd into bed. They are delicious, and certainly satisfy this chocolate lover's sweet tooth when nothing else is available, but... it's still American chocolate. And hence, not all that great.

I never realized what I was missing until I went to Germany after college. There, I was exposed to chocolates made in Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Belgium. Even the cheap Milka bars at the local German grocery were far more divine and came in many more interesting flavors than anything you'd ever find in American chocolate.

Here, pretty much all you'll find are milk, dark or white chocolate. "Fillings" consist of standard fare such as nuts. Not very imaginative.

But European chocolate? There are unique fillings such as yogurt (and different flavors thereof), hazelnuts, pralines, truffles, milk (yes, think powdered milk in creamy form) and best of all, marzipan. Flavors include various coffees and even vanilla. Yes, you might say that these varieties are also available in specialty chocolates here, but that's my point-- these were the big, flat $1 bars stocked in your local grocery aisle. Even the plain milk chocolate bars taste far superior to your standard Hershey bar.

You can bet that when it was time to leave Germany, I stocked a couple of copy-paper boxes with chocolates and coffees you could only find in Europe, and let the Army ship them back along with the rest of my household goods. Most of these were doled out to friends and family, so I stretched out my enjoyment of what remained.

When I returned to the States, I discovered that Ritter Sport was now readily available-- but only in 3 measly flavors, and not the hearty variety I was used to. And certainly more expensive than I was used to! Better than nothing, and good for an occasional treat, I suppose, but I missed my coffee-flavored or marzipan-filled chocolates!

Ah well. Now that I've been back for 10 years, I've resigned myself to the fact that my chocolate cravings will have to be satisfied with bland American chocolate. Now hand over that Mr. Goodbar before anyone gets hurt :-P

My Little Family

Earlier this week, as I was preparing my Thanksgiving post (come on-- with NaBloPoMo occurring in November, the holidays during this month-- Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving-- more or less provide freebies in terms of blog topics for those days!) I went into my blog archives to see what I'd previously written about the holiday, so I wouldn't repeat myself unnecessarily.

One of the posts talked about Thanksgiving 2009, which is the only time we broke away from the tradition of getting together with Allan's family at his sister's house. In the post, I wrote about how the "little Knight family" stayed home and had a small celebration. As I re-read the post, I smiled at the "little family" designation. We do have a little family. It's just the 3 of us. Even the extended family is quite small-- Todd may have 5 grandparents, but he only has one aunt and uncle. And no first cousins. At least, not human ones ;-)

We inevitably get the "are you having more kids?" question. I will admit that the thought still crosses my mind once in a while, especially when it's obvious that my little boy longs for someone his age to play with. But we're done, and our family shall remain little.

It's quite cozy, actually. With a 3-bedroom house, each family members gets their own room. It's fun to be able to all crowd into the big bed and have a snuggle-in. It's comparatively quiet and peaceful at home. Emphasis on "comparative", because there is nothing quiet or peaceful about a rambunctious, active 7-year-old boy!!

I like my little family. I like that it's so little. It feels very compact and efficient, and though the amount of energy and money it takes to raise one single little boy never ceases to amaze me, I like it this way. Just the three of us. Just the right size! :-)

Friday Five: Shopping

In honor of Black Friday, I thought I'd do a shopping-themed Friday Five. So here goes:

1. Do you participate in Black Friday shopping?
2. What is your favorite thing to shop for?
3. What store do you have a weakness for?
4. What's the biggest purchase you've ever made?
5. If you had $1000 to do with as you pleased, what would you spend it on?

1. Maybe if there are online deals to take advantage of on things I already need, but other than that-- no. I don't understand the craze that surrounds saving a few bucks. It's just not worth getting up at the crack of dawn and dealing with unruly mobs. I also feel sorry for the poor retail workers that have to give up their Thanksgiving to come in at midnight (or other ungodly early morning hours) and deal with the mad crowds. They already deal with enough sucky customers as is, I know that Black Friday multiplies that number tenfold... even more.

2. Books! I can spend hours in a bookstore, browsing and browsing.

3. The 99-cent store :-) Usually I'm good about not buying things unless I absolutely need them (and even then I scour out the best price), but in a dollar store, that impulse control goes right out the window. Likely because I figure "it's only $1!" Thankfully, it's usually on items we need, anyway. I'll never need to buy glue sticks for Todd again, but he uses them plenty at school!

4. Well, aside from the house (which doesn't really fall under the realm of "shopping" anyway) and things for the house (such as flooring), I'd say our big-screen TV. It was a luxury gift to ourselves now that we finally have the room for it :-)

5. I'd probably first stick in savings to earn a little interest while I figured out what to do with it! Honestly, I can't think of anything that I really need other than things around the house: new memory foam mattress, probably. Or else paying a gardener to remove the plants bordering our house and a neighbor's, replacing it with a fence instead.

How about you?

Finally, I leave you with a funny little shopping cart fail:

Happy Thanksgiving 2011

I think I covered the usual list of "things to be thankful for" last year. Not a lot has changed since then, in terms of what we're thankful for. I've also written about our Thanksgiving traditions, and how grateful I am that ours are very uncomplicated: meet at my sister-in-law's house every year. Small family, very low-key and intimate and all-around relaxing.

So I thought I'd write about the Thanksgiving food.

Every year I look forward to my father-in-law's delightful creamed spinach. The mashed potatoes are always light and moist, and the bread rolls (even if they're just from a Pillsbury can) soft and fluffy. Next to the spinach, the ham is my favorite part of the meal, especially since we don't get to a lot of it during the year.

Ordinary, simple food. But so delicious!

However, it turns out I'm not such a huge fan of the two things that are most iconic about Thanksgiving: the turkey and the pies.

I'm not a fan of turkey for the same reason I'm not a fan of the white meat in chicken: it's too dry. Even the dark meat can sometimes be dry. I mean, I like it enough and will eat it, but it definitely does not rank amongst my favorite foods, especially compared to the ham.

And I've never been a big fan of pies, period. I've always found them too sweet for my liking. And even if they aren't overly sweet, what is up with pie crusts? They're like... hard cookies, except with less-pleasant texture and taste. I once mentioned to Allan that I'd never had chocolate pie, and would like to try some. He pointed out that we could do it ourselves: make up some pudding from powder, and throw it on a pre-made pie crust. To which I replied: well then, what's the point? If it's just chocolate pudding on a pie crust, I'll just eat the pudding on its own, thank you. Of course, that being said, we ARE bringing a frozen chocolate silk pie from Claim Jumper to the Thanksgiving get-together today, so... we'll see how it tastes! :-)

How about you? What are your favorite holiday traditional foods?

Planning Ahead

I can be somewhat obsessive about planning ahead. For instance, I'm going out to karaoke tonight, something that has been a somewhat regular outing for me and a core group of karaoke-loving friends for the past year and a half. Every time I've gone, I've come prepared with a list of songs that I can choose from, making the selection process that much quicker once I arrive at the bar. I can't help it-- I don't like going in there unprepared. I'm the antithesis of one of my "karaoke buddies", Nick, who *prefers* going into the bar without a set agenda. He even let us pick a song for him once. You can guess what he ended up having to do: "Barbie Girl" by Aqua ;-) Anyway, I look upon my planning ahead with practicality in mind:

1) It saves time, not having to flip through an enormous song book to find something that catches my fancy.
2) I know I'm sticking to songs I CAN do (there are some songs that span such a huge vocal range that I simply cannot do them, knowing which ones to avoid helps me avoid embarrassment on stage)
3) Likes and dislikes are fleeting. I might not even FEEL like singing the song I really wanted to do last week. Having a current list ensures that I have a list of possibilities that I actually *want* to do.

I even go a step further and try to plan out WHEN I'll sing songs. Slower songs, or songs that I'm not 100% confident about, I'll tend to request earlier in the evening, when it's not as crowded. Songs I know I can rock, or just plain faster songs that get people moving, are better later in the evening, when there's more people to kick up a storm on the dance floor.

Karaoke isn't the only thing I plan for, though. Spreadsheets are my friend :-) When I was in the Army, I was nicknamed the "PowerPoint Ranger" because of my extensive use of PowerPoint (well, I had to, it was part of my job!), but these days, I think "Excel Ranger" is more apt.

Spreadsheets come in very handy when it comes to managing the family budget-- a pretty common use of them, I would imagine. They also came in very handy when it came to buying our house. Knowing the interest rate, I worked out several different mortgage scenarios, based on potential purchase price and available down payment. This gave me an idea of how high we could comfortably afford to go with our offer price, and enabled us to give our realtor a set figure from which we couldn't go much higher. Makes negotiations easier when you know what your maximum is.

I even plan out our vacations on spreadsheets. In summer of 2007, we all flew up to Vancouver for a conference that Allan was attending through the university. After the conference, we rented a car and drove down along the West Coast back home, stopping by cities along the way to see family and friends: Seattle, Portland, San Francisco. I had the entire trip mapped out, to the hour, on spreadsheets. Even though I got very sick during the trip and had to forego much of the sightseeing myself, we managed to stay remarkably on track with the plan. Whenever we go to Vegas, I map out our itinerary on Excel, too. Helps work out how much the hotel, food and activities will cost us in sum.

Now, that's not to say that there's no room for flexibility in there. Some of the activities I throw in are more like "placeholders"-- things we can do if we feel like it or find nothing else interesting to do, but it's not the end of the world if we don't do it. It's the best of both worlds, actually-- room for spontaneity, yet still with a backup plan. There are, of course, some things I will not leave to chance-- like booking our hotel room. And I prefer planning out where we're going to eat so that we can keep costs in check. But other than that-- having a plan makes me feel better about having some sort of structure to guide us during our trip.

How about you? What sorts of things do you like to plan ahead for?

New Girl

One of the shows I've really gotten into on Hulu is "New Girl", starring Zooey Deschanel. It started off a bit slow (but still good) and each episode just keeps getting progressively better and funnier. I guess that's what happens when you start to establish the central characters, their personalities, their quirks, their foibles.

I will admit that the primary reason I even began to check out the show was *because* it starred goofy Zooey. You know how you and your friends always discuss celebrity crushes, and then you list the one same-sex crush you would have if you swung that way (or, I guess, opposite-sex if you're gay). Mine was always Zooey. She's cute and quirky, and most of all, she's classy. She exemplifies the notion that you can be sexy without having to show off as much skin as is legally possible. And she's a terrific singer, to boot! People say she looks like Katy Perry, but I think it's the other way around-- Katy Perry looks like a trashier version of Zooey Deschanel :-P

Zooey's character, Jess, is much like her in those respects. Jess is goofy, she's quirky, she's adorable and cute without wearing skin-tight, revealing clothing, and she has a heart of gold.

When it comes to guys I find attractive, I'm never drawn to the stereotypical "hot" hunk, as evidenced by my celeb list (linked above). I prefer the classic, clean-cut gentleman. The same, apparently, goes for my taste in women. I'm not gay, but the more I watch Zooey, the more I "fall in love" with her, for lack of a better expression. I'm sure you know what I mean.

Anyway, if you haven't seen "New Girl", I highly encourage you to check it out. It is, after all, available on Hulu!

The Little Things

You know how they say that it's the little things in life that you really appreciate? Well, I didn't really understand that until I got older (read: busier, especially due to a kid).

What are some of the little things that make me happy?

Knowing that I don't have to make my son's lunch for the next day. I would have to say that this tops the list. Silvergreens delivers lunch to Todd's school some days of the week, and I usually order at least one meal a week from them. I keep the monthly at-a-glance calendar on the fridge for easy reference, and I literally (yes, literally!) jump for joy and do a little happy dance when I look at the calendar and see that lunch is being delivered tomorrow. Especially on days when I'm especially frazzled already. I later discovered that I wasn't the only parent who does this happy dance, so I'm glad there are others out there who understand :-)

Being able to go to bed early. Todd isn't yet dry at night, so I usually have to stay up until at least 11:00pm in order to haul him out of bed and make sure he goes to the bathroom, before diapering him and putting him back to bed for the rest of the night. Of course, by the time that chore is done, I'm wide awake and will take time to settle back down to enough sleepiness to climb into bed-- and by then it's already midnight. So when he's out of town (as he is this week), I can take full advantage of going to bed as early as I like, without any worries!

Enjoying holidays that most private companies do not. Veteran's Day a couple weeks ago is a prime example. You see, when I left Citrix, I exchanged 16 days of PTO per year for 10 days of vacation per year at UCSB. However, sick days are counted separately from bona fide vacation days, and I get 12 of those every year. So, for true vacation days, it about evens out, time-wise. Plus the added bonus of 3 extra holidays that places like Citrix don't observe. It's kind of nice knowing you have a day off when everyone else has to work :-D

Unexpected free food at work. At Citrix this was a little more prevalent than it is here (and I'm not talking about the regular things like Bagel Wednesdays and free snacks/drinks perpetually available). Nothing is quite as nice as wondering what you're going to do for lunch, and getting ready to shell out some $$ to eat at the cafe, only to discover leftovers from a lunchtime meeting in the kitchen. But you have to act fast! Those things disappear fast! Here, a co-worker will occasionally bring in baked goods, which makes a nice breakfast treat, but that's really about it.

How about you? What are the little things in life that bring you enjoyment and pleasure?

Fair is fair!

Weekend flew by, as it always done when I'm at my parents' house. It also left me with very little to blog about, so I'll leave you with this little Todd-ism:

Todd played with his Legos this morning, spreading them all out on the living room floor. I asked him to clean it up before we ate lunch, and as he started picking up the pieces, my dad walked in. Todd said something in Chinese to him, and my dad sat down and helped him tidy up. I guessed that he had asked Opa to help him clean up, so I jokingly chided him:

"For shame! Asking Opa to help you clean up your toys!"

To which he replied:

"Well yeah! Because he played with the Legos, too!"

My mom and I cracked up, which earned a disapproving look from Todd. He looked up at us and said, in his sternest voice: "I don't see anything funny about this!"

Which, of course, only made it worse! :-D

Short Saturday

Short post today, as I'm currently in LA, dropping off the little man for his week-long Thanksgiving break. This is the first time he's ever had a whole week off for Thanksgiving. Of course, we go back to LA next Thursday to celebrate Thanksgiving, and are bringing him back that following Friday, so we really only get about 3-4 full days off without him. But hey-- a break is a break, right? And then it won't be long until the 2-week winter break.

Obviously, we enjoy school breaks because it gives us a change of pace in our routine. We get a break from parenthood, Todd gets to enjoy a different place full of different things not available in SB (like cable TV and twice as many toys) and gets to spend time with his grandparents. My parents get to see their grandson, though he's such a handful that I'm sure that by break's end they are ready for him to leave! ;-)

I also enjoy my trips back and forth to LA, picking him up and dropping him off, because it gives me a chance to do some shopping in places that simply don't exist in Santa Barbara. Here we are, city in paradise, population nearly 100K, and we have no bona-fide dollar store (I'm talking big chains like 99 Cents Only or Dollar Tree), there is no Wal-Mart, no Target, no JC Penney, no major discount grocery store (such as Food4Less), and, now that the big box bookstores have packed up, no more Borders or B&N. All we have is one rinky-dink K-Mart that USED to tout itself as a "Big" K-Mart (ha!), and where prices for an item are higher than the what the exact same item would cost at a faraway Wal-Mart or Target.

Even our Home Depot and OSH are pretty tiny, and have slim offerings compared to Lowe's (which we don't have) and Home Depots elsewhere. It can get a bit discouraging, not being able to find what you need!

So going down to LA, where such stores (and the corresponding savings they bring!) are abundant, is a great opportunity for me to stock up on things we need, and save money doing so. Off I go to get some household goods now!

Friday Five: Pets

Back in my blogging heyday, I used to do a Friday Five almost every week. I'd post 5 questions, quiz-style, and answer them myself, then invite readers to answer them in the comments section. Last time I did it was nearly 2 years ago, so I thought it was high-time I restarted the tradition. So here goes. Today's theme is pets:

1. What was your first pet's name?
2. What kind of animal was your first pet?
3. If you have a pet now, what kind of animal is it?
4. What is your favorite animal to have as a pet?
5. What animal have you always wanted to have as a pet?

1. My first pet that I actually remember interacting with was a parakeet. I named him Hustle Bustle, because I'd recently read a children's story about a family parrot named Hustle Bustle. My mom thought it was a weird name, but hey-- kids, what can you do? I never did teach the skittish bird to say anything, except for the clicks of our tongue we'd make when trying to calm him down-- that he imitated pretty well!

2. Well, as I mentioned above, Hustle Bustle was a parakeet. I was 8 years old when I got him. And actually, before that, we had a couple of goldfish, but I don't remember much about them. I remember that they both died by jumping out of their fishbowl and "drowning" in the air.

3. No pets. Unless you count plush ones. In that case, I have a whole stuffed menagerie going! A veritable zoo filled with creatures that aren't always your run-of-the-mill stuffed animals:  a scorpion, a tarantula, an octopus, a striped skunk, a bald eagle, a couple of Turtwigs, a squishable Android, a killer whale, and a plethora of turtles... among many others!

4. Well, what kid doesn't like dogs? I used to have an imaginary dog when I was a kid-- a German Shepherd named Frisky. Best-trained dog you ever played with! ;-) And while I still do love dogs, now that I'm grown up, I don't think I'd ever want to own one-- a lot of work! I think a pet turtle would be pretty neat, but they take up a lot of room and can likewise be as much work as a dog.

5. Besides the dog and turtle-- a tarantula! Those fuzzy creatures are beautiful. And some of them pack quite a personality, if the stories on the LJ tarantulalovers community are any indication! I've always wanted to pet one-- I've heard that they're as soft as bunnies, and I've always wanted to see if that was actually true!

How about you? What are your pet stories?

Impatience

Throughout the course of reading the "customers suck" LJ communities for the past couple of years, I've noticed that one of the common customer "sucks" occurs when the customer demands that everything be done NOWWWW!!! because they are in such a hurry. Only they end up wasting more time by arguing with their server/cashier over something that could've been settled in 30 seconds.  Or they put themselves in situations where they KNOW it will be crowded (e.g. fast food joint during the lunch rush hour) and then complain about having to wait. The bottom line is: these people deliberately put themselves in situations that caused delay, despite claims of being in a rush. Common sense, people? Evidently not!

My friend Kartik relayed a little something he'd witnessed today that reminded me a bit of those sucky customers: while standing in the parking lot near his car, he saw a girl rush up to her car, which was parked near his. She seemed to be in a hurry, especially as she was muttering "I'm in a rush!" to herself as she got in her car. Expecting to see her hop in and dash out of the parking lot, he was somewhat surprised to see her start the engine... and then proceed to sit there for a good 5 minutes. Warming up the engine. Of her brand new Honda. Huh? So much for that rush! Frankly, I'm surprised she didn't sit there texting on her phone for several minutes before shifting into gear and leaving.

She's lucky nobody was waiting to claim her spot! I've been on the waiting end a few times-- crowded parking lot, you spy someone getting into their car, they start the engine, and you turn on your blinker, waiting hopefully. And waiting. And waiting some more... I mean, it's one thing if they're busy loading groceries or buckling kids into their car seats. But these are people who START their engines (some of them even shift their car into reverse, which makes it worse-- seeing those white backup lights go on makes me anticipate their exit even more!) and then sit there doing God knows what.

On the flip side, I've been on the end of someone who's being waited for. When it's a situation like a crowded parking lot and I know someone's waiting for my spot, I try to do the polite thing: get out as soon as I possibly can. That text message can wait. Perusing my new purchase can wait until I get home. However, I found myself in such a situation the other day at the gas station... only there was no reason for me to hold anyone up, as the station was nearly empty save for me and one other car!

This illustration lays it out:

 

That's the gas station-- the dark blue squares are the pumps. The pink square is my car, the light green square is another customer, and the gray rectangles denote the sidewalk. The purple rectangle labeled "IP" (for Impatient Woman) represents the car of the woman waiting behind me. She pulled in from the street, and was half in the entrance, half on the street. As you can see, there was PLENTY of room to simply go around me and choose just about any other pump available-- including going around me and backing into the pump in front of me! But no. She chose to sit there and wait. I happened to be in the middle of washing my windows (something I only do when the gas station isn't crowded and full of waiting people) when she pulled up behind me. At first, there was a car at the pump to the left of me, so she really didn't have any place to go, but he left shortly after IP arrived, so I fully expected her to simply pull in through the spot he just vacated. But no. She remained where she was. 

Since it was HER choice to sit there, idling, when she had plenty of other options, I didn't feel obligated to hurry up and finish. So I went about my business as I usually do. I finished my front windshield and then moved on to my back windshield. Then I topped off my gas tank and waited for the receipt to print. 

IP got up pretty close behind me, probably trying to hint at me to hurry up so she could pull in. I ignored it, because I knew that I wasn't blocking her from any other pump or holding her up. Hell-- there was another entrance she could've used (near the pump in the upper-left corner of the diagram) if she wanted to. I was tempted to work slower than my normal pace, but decided it wasn't worth getting into a passive-aggressive war with IP. Besides, I wanted to get home. I dunno-- maybe she had some sort of weird special attachment to my pump, and only wants to get gas from THAT one? That's the best reason I can think of, sadly.Weird!

Thou Shalt Not Run

Today's blog post was inspired by a funny picture that was posted by my friend Colett, who is a fellow veteran, and so understands the joys (if it can be called that) of running as well as I do, having had to do it nearly every day at ungodly hours of the morning:

Ain't that the truth!

My own love/hate relationship (okay, it was mostly hate :-P) with running began in 1993, the year I started Army ROTC at UCLA. For the next 8 years (4 years of ROTC, 4 years of active duty) running was like an annoying younger sibling: unwanted but always around, anyway.

I remember the first time I took an Army physical fitness test, freshman year. The test consists of pushups, situps and a 2-mile run. I remember that my run time was 19 minutes plus some change. Woefully slow, and not even passing. I've always been a slow runner. While I gradually improved as my overall physical fitness improved, my running was still never on par with the speed demons who regularly breezed through 13 and 14-minute runs. I could knock out pushups and situps with the best of them, but the best time I ever got on the 2-mile run during a test was just under 17 minutes.

Running was a necessary evil, it came with the territory of being in the Army, and the more I did it, the more I hated it. I hated feeling like my lungs were about to explode every time (and yes, I realize this comes with EVERY form of strenuous exercise, but it's different when you're running-- it feels more acute then). I hated overheating in icy, snowy weather-- when ice forms on your beanie because of the temperature difference between your head and the air, something is wrong. I hated feeling like I was strangling in a sauna when the weather was hot. I hated the pounding my knees were taking-- ouch! That can't be good for them! I hated feeling like I was holding everyone up when we ran in formation because you can only go as fast as your slowest runner. That was compounded by the mistaken notion a lot of people harbored that if you just practiced enough, you could be a stellar runner. Wrong. I certainly did find ways to improve my own running, and I'm happy with that accomplishment, but I will never be one of those 13-minute runners. Some people are just naturally born runners, and some aren't.

Most of all, though-- exercise is supposed to make you feel good in the long run (haha). Running, however, just made me feel like crap. Not just WHILE I was doing it, but long afterward. Long after I'd already showered and was halfway through my workday-- I'd still feel tired and feel like I needed to rest from a long run.

Anyway, after 8 years of it, I was through. I'd had more than enough. I never wanted to run again. I'd much rather swim or bike. I loathed running so much that it became one of the core tenets of the religion Allan and I came up with: Thou shalt not run (for the sake of running). We even have friends that agree with this, and join our religion because of it. Of course, we also have friends that like running (Tabitha, Wayne, John S, I'm looking at you! Especially you boys with your crazy marathon addictions), but that's okay, they're still our friends. It's like Christianity is supposed to be-- love your heathen neighbors as your brothers and sisters anyway ;-)

How about you? What are your experiences with running? Do you like it/do it regularly? Or are you thinking of joining our religion? :-D

The Smell of Your Fellow Humans

Everything in life has extremes, and human odors are no exception. I still haven't quite decided what's worse: overdosing on perfume or letting body odor go rank.

Okay, now that I think back to Smelly Man on the bus, I'd have to go with B.O. That guy had me (and everyone around me!) retching, and he was over 10 feet away! But then I hearken back to a former co-worker, who used to overdose on her perfume. Every morning she'd walk by my cubicle, and 5 minutes after she'd left, I'd STILL be smelling the lingering remnants of perfume left in her wake. Perfume should NOT be so strong that it STAYS BEHIND you in the AIR long after you've left! And then I waffle on which is worse.

I remember one day when she came by to visit a nearby co-worker. It was late in the afternoon, and I suddenly realized part of the reason why she wore so much perfume: she was probably trying to mask a hideous case of B.O.! I felt kinda sorry for her-- while she wasn't giving Smelly Man a run for his money, it's still pretty bad when she's sitting 5 feet away and I can smell that she needs a shower. She can't help it, poor gal, but man! I was grateful I sat nowhere near her on a regular basis.

B.O. and perfume overdoses: they're worse than cigarette smoke. I can't stand smoke, but usually when someone comes in fresh from a smoke break and reeking like an ashtray, the smell dissipates quickly. Either that or my nose adjusts quickly (unlikely), but either way-- it doesn't linger or make me want to hurl the same way B.O. or strong perfume does.

Possibly the only thing worse, I imagine, is a combination of body odor and perfume. I can't imagine anything grosser than trying to cover up rank body smells with sickeningly sweet perfume. All you wind up with is a mix of germy sweat and sour perfume. And yes, you aren't fooling anyone. At least if you went one way or the other, the rest of us are only dealing with one smell-- trying to cover up only treats us to two smells. Fun!

How about you? Any smells in particular that bother you? Any encounters with people who could either use a stick of deodorant and some soap for Christmas, or a note saying "less is more!"?

Down with Harry Potter?

You're probably well aware that a lot of religious folks are against Harry Potter. I honestly don't understand the hoopla. Personally, the genre isn't my cup of tea, so I don't read them, myself, but I understand that it appeals to others, and certainly don't begrudge them their wish to read the books.

Enter Todd's school, a private Christian school. The kids in his class take part in a reading program whereby they have to read a certain number of books at home by the end of the school year. Parents keep logs and turn them in periodically. However, neither the Harry Potter nor the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books count towards this quota. Wimpy Kid I agree with-- it's got too many illustrations to be truly grade-level appropriate. And Harry Potter? Fine-- if they believe it's inappropriate, I can abide by that. I certainly don't agree with their reasons for not allowing the kids to count those books as part of the reading program, but hey-- it's their rules, and there's still a whole wide world of other books to read out there. Not a big deal.

However, here is where I take a bit of issue: book orders.

 

Do you remember those Scholastic book order sheets that you used to get in grade school? I remember being excited about the newest editions every month. Nothing quite like poring over the order form, turning it in, and then receiving a brand-new, shiny book! And now that I'm receiving them as a parent, I can certainly appreciate the good prices they have on many titles!

Well... apparently I can't quite order whatever I want for Todd. The restriction about HP is still there. In fact, the rule goes so far as to say that not only will they disallow HP books, but they won't let us order *any* books "dealing with witchcraft". 

Okay, first of all, I think the whole point of the HP series goes beyond just sorcery or witchcraft. I mean, I haven't read the series or seen the movies, but even I can figure out that it's a classic story of good triumphing over evil... which just happens to be in a fantasy setting. And okay, so maybe the characters misbehave-- isn't that true of a lot of youth fiction? That's where the parents and their explanations come in.

Second of all-- it's one thing to decide not to have these books available in the classroom or school library. That's well within the school's rights. But to restrict ordering a book? For HOME use? That should be at the parents' discretion. After all, it's the parents' job to educate their kids on what they're reading at home. It's not the school's job to police what kids read at home.

Third of all-- where do you draw the line? Vampires? Ghosts? (yes, I saw plenty of both in the October, Halloween-themed edition). How about a historically-based fiction about the Salem witch trials? And what about the Chronicles of Narnia? Oh, right. It's written by a Christian author and is supposed to be a biblical allegory, so it MUST be okay. Never mind that it's also full of fantasy and sorcery (and a bloody unicorn on the cover) itself.

It irks me that people can be so rash to put a blanket ban on something they probably never even took the time to investigate themselves. It irks me that I can't order the HP book on the Scholastic form (not that I would want to, mind you), yet on that very same page is some teenybopper magazine that's probably far less edifying than HP. It irks me that people believe that just *looking* at something they consider "evil" will corrupt them, when it's actually this kind of irrational, closed-minded, and downright mindless following that can lead to corrupt actions.

Sigh... will people ever figure it out?

Eight-Legged Friends

Spiders. I love 'em. I know I'm in the minority. I didn't actually start out liking them. Didn't really dislike them either, but viewed them as I would any other household bug: as a tiny pest ruining our clean home. Squash 'em!

As is the case with most of my animal favorites, it started out with a particularly cute and favored stuffed animal. Rocky got me hooked on Rottweilers, Geronimo got me hooked on sea turtles, and Sassy got me hooked on tarantulas. I found the tarantulalovers forum on LJ, and enjoyed learning about these remarkable little creatures.

Since then, I've discovered a renewed appreciation for spiders. Certain kinds still squick me out a little, I admit. A "regular" spider that's the same size as a large tarantula is way creepier than the tarantula for some reason. I think because the tarantula has fur, it looks cuddlier than its non-fuzzy counterpart.

Ever since adopting our stuffed spider and learning more about them, our house has been declared a "spider friendly" zone. We no longer kill spiders in our house. In fact, we go out of our way to avoid harming them, sometimes even outright moving them to safe spots (like out of the tub I'm about to wash).

Some spiders make regular appearances in set spots of our house. We name those spiders :-) When we first moved in, Sid would hang out on the tub, coming out every night like clockwork. When he passed away, we put him out in the yard to be recycled back into nature. Bruce is a very large spider who makes his home in the corners of our carport. He's a big, beautiful creature, with striped yellow legs. We haven't seen him lately, and I hope the winds and rain we've had recently didn't blow or wash him away!

And then there's Fred, our resident kitchen spider. He has a nice little web going in the corner of the window near the sink. Like Sid, he comes out like clockwork every night. I was amused to notice that when we set our clocks back last week, Fred started coming out an hour earlier. There's a creature who definitely goes by the natural ebb and flow of daylight! But... Fred is a messy little guest! After a while, his web gets a little out of control-- stringy and messy. And there are spider droppings on the countertop under his web! Every once in a while, when I'm doing dishes while Fred is away (asleep), I'll wipe up not only his messes, but older parts of his web. I figure he'll have to tear them down eventually anyway, so I help the process out a bit.

One of the reasons I like spiders so much is that they are such beneficial creatures. They keep insects (especially harmful ones) at bay. Have you heard the story about how the flooding in Pakistan forced millions of spiders to seek refuge in trees? They then spun some really spooky-looking webs around those trees. Looked gnarly, but it was a blessing for the residents, because when the waters receded and left behind stagnant pools, guess who was attracted to those pools? Yup, malaria-carrying mosquitoes. But in the areas of the "webbed trees", the mosquito population, as well as the incidence of malaria, dropped sharply. Isn't that cool!?

I once read, in the LJ forum, a girl's story about how a spider came to visit her pet tarantula. This led to a comment about how spiders seem to "know" that the homes of tarantula owners are spider-friendly, and that they are welcome there. One girl even opened her window a crack on icy cold days, to let garden spiders in so they could warm up.

Well, we only have a stuffed tarantula. But our love for spiders is still the same, and I hope they feel that. We don't mind having the little critters around. They keep to themselves, mind their own business, sometimes keep us entertained, and definitely earn their keep while staying here. Since we've been here, we have not seen a single bug inside the house! I hope the spiders are getting enough to eat! :-)

Shrek

I will admit. As hugely popular as the Shrek franchise is, I'd never actually seen the movies. That is, until Todd wanted to watch them. So I put the first movie into our Netflix DVD queue and watched it. I was enchanted by the movie, and we put its sequel into the queue after returning the first one. I was a bit skeptical when we received it and began watching it, for experience has taught me that sequels rarely live up to the expectations created by the original, especially if the original was a smashing success. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I was wrong about that-- not only was Shrek 2 a really good movie on its own, it built up very well from the first one.

Our appetites whetted, we sent away for the third movie. I thought to myself: they can't repeat this kind of success again, can they? Again, I was mistaken. Shrek the Third was so thoroughly enjoyable that I couldn't help but watch it again and again, and it was with some reluctance that I finally returned the DVD so we could receive the fourth, and final, installment.

By this point I was REALLY skeptical. Could a FOURTH movie live up to the hype? It seems that all the storylines have been exhausted. Major villains had been done away with in the previous 3 movies. What plot could possibly be left, aside from watching Shrek the domesticated family man... er, ogre?

I should have known. I had begun to detect a trend amongst the movies. While most movies tend to go downhill with its sequels, especially when there are multiple ones, Shrek went in the opposite direction. It started off with a really strong, enjoyable movie. But it then became, odds against all odds, even BETTER with each subsequent sequel. The second was better than the first, the third was better than the second, and-- you guessed it-- the fourth was absolutely superb. I rarely cry at movies (or at anything in life, really), but this one was moving enough to bring about a few tears. And of course, it still had the sunshine-y happy ending I've come to expect from animated movies.

I'm not sure why the whole Shrek series is so appealing to me. I certainly enjoy almost all of the animated films by Disney/Pixar and DreamWorks. Shrek seems to have become an accidental favorite, maybe partly because of the message of love, courage, and acceptance it conveys, and partly because it has managed to build steadily upon its own successes-- a rare feat in Hollywood these days, it seems.

So if you haven't seen any of the Shrek movies, I highly recommend you check them out! You won't regret it :-)

Veteran's Day: The Demise of DADT

Happy Veteran's Day! This is the year that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", which was implemented the year I began ROTC at UCLA, was finally repealed. Well-- okay, it was technically repealed last year, but this is the year it's finally gone into effect. I'm ashamed to say that while I was in the service, I was pretty nonchalant about the whole rule. I didn't really care one way or the other. The rule did not apply to me, and since I didn't know anyone who was gay (for obvious reasons-- it was "against" the law!) I didn't understand the full extent to which it affected people.

It didn't get any better once I went on active duty. I remember what it was like while I was in the service. I realize that opposition you hear from military personnel today stems from being "brainwashed" by the system. While there are definitely segments of the population who truly are homophobic to the core (and these segments can often be overrepresented in the military), there is something to be said for assuming and believing that something is wrong when you're taught it's illegal. When you're taught, on top of that, justifications for why it's illegal, you're going to automatically agree with it and apply that thinking to your own feelings. I went from being totally noncommittal about and ignorant of the topic of homosexuality to being slightly uncomfortable about the idea, simply because that's what I'd been taught, however indirectly, by the DADT policy.

Once I returned to the civilian world, however, things changed for me. No longer in uniform, I began to see things from an outsider's point of view. I had friends who were gay. The discrimination faced by homosexuals today started hitting home for me. I began identifying with their equal rights causes (such as No on Prop 8), and I started realizing just how wrong and misguided DADT was. I was aware that it was an attempt to reach a compromise between the staunch defenders of the anti-homosexual policy that was prevalent in years past, and the more forward-thinking human rights defenders trying to end discrimination. A compromise that, obviously, fared no better than the overtly discriminatory policy it replaced.

Vicious hatred spewed in support of keeping DADT filled me with revulsion, but the half-assed supporters, who were merely mouthing the party line without truly understanding what they were saying? I knew why they were saying the things they did, knew they probably didn't believe it deep-down, and had simply been "brainwashed" by living under the policy day after day. They took for granted that gays serving in the military must be wrong, simply because it was "outlawed".

That isn't to say that I condone any opposition, or justifications thereof, to the repeal of DADT. But I do understand, to a certain degree, where some of this opposition comes from. And it all boils back down to the key ingredient in rectifying past wrongs: EDUCATION. Educate people. Many are misinformed. I know I was, and woefully so. When you simply don't know any better, it's easy to fall prey to the falsehoods spread by the truly prejudiced.

I am heartened to see the military fully embracing and preparing for the repeal, because having support from higher echelons will go a long way toward changing individual soldiers' minds. Being thoroughly educated at all levels is vital. If the pervasive anti-gay attitude in the military comes about because that's what they've been taught through policies like DADT, then the repeal of DADT, and subsequent education at all levels, will hopefully reverse that.

I reflected on the things I cherished most about the United States military in my Veteran's Day post last year-- many of those things still hold true. Our military is one that I still truly, deeply admire and am still proud of. Which is why I look forward to our armed forces becoming even more top-notch as they uphold the freedoms of those who fight to defend the freedoms of the rest of us!

More Strange Dreams

A while back I wrote a post detailing some of the recurring dreams I've always had: flying/falling, mouth full of food, driving a car that won't brake, and yelling at Allan ;-)

I also wrote about how sometimes, when I'm especially in the thick of something at work, I'll wind up carrying it along with me to Dreamland. Funny how the mind works. For instance, this past couple of months I've been mired in personnel promotion cases. On top of that, I had some intensive training on the subject yesterday. So last night, I dreamed about... *drumroll* doing personnel cases! Only in my dream, Jennifer Aniston was one of the faculty being considered for promotion, and my friend Tabitha was helping me with her case. I couldn't even begin to imagine what that's supposed to mean. Not like Jennifer is one of my favorite actresses or that I'd seen anything with her in it lately. Oh well-- sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar, right?

In other news... 

The youth pastor at our church Tweeted about a dream he had last night, and it immediately reminded me of a joke that doesn't exactly belong in church. It seems wrong to connect a dirty joke with our youth pastor, but I'm sure he'd understand :-)

His Tweet: "Last night I was dreaming about petting a cat.  When I woke up I was petting my hand!  Weird!"

The joke: Three guys were out hiking and camping, and when they got to their cabin, they realized it only had one bed. At least it was large enough to hold all 3 of them, so they climbed in and went to sleep. The next morning, the guy on the left said: "I had a strange dream last night. I dreamt that I was getting a handjob!" The guy on the right said: "I dreamt I was getting a handjob, too!" The guy in the middle stretched and yawned, then said: "I dreamt that I was skiing!"

:-D

Apparently, we aren't the only ones having weird dreams last night. Stephanie dreamt of narwhals, and then posted this picture. I'm not normally much for Star Wars (I prefer Star Trek, myself), but I think narwhals are cute and cool, and really enjoyed the picture! :-)

How about you? Any weird or wacky dreams lately?

A Ring Is Not Just A Ring

This "Working Daze" comic reminded me of one of my favorite stories that took place shortly after Allan and I got married.

When we tied the knot, not many of our friends at school knew about it. So when I went to class the following Monday after our wedding weekend, one friend, Golnaz, immediately spied the plain gold ring I was sporting on my left hand. She gave me a coy, knowing look and asked: "What is that?" Before I could say anything, our other friend, Steve, overheard her question and sidled up to us. He followed Golnaz's gaze to my hand and studied my ring.

His earnest, excited reaction?

"Oh, is that from Lord of the Rings!?"

Golnaz stared at him incredulously for a few seconds before setting him straight: "It's a wedding ring, you dork!" I can't remember if she smacked him or not, but I wouldn't have blamed her if she did. Only a bona fide geek would see a plain, flat, gold band on the ring finger of a girl's left hand and automatically assume it's that sci-fi/fantasy ring, and not a wedding band! Apparently Roy and Kathy fit that bill! :-P

Good ol' Steve. This little anecdote has provided lots of laughter as we've recounted it numerous times throughout the years since then.We love him anyway! :-)

Things We Wish We Could Tweet/FB

Warning: not for the faint of heart!

About a year ago, I started jotting down some of the funny, irreverent, and downright dirty things that came up in conversation with Allan. Things that you'd love to Tweet or post on Facebook, but deemed rather inappropriate. So I thought I'd start saving them up privately, and before long, I'd amassed quite a collection. Now's the perfect time to blog it, I figured, so here you are. I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out who said what (aside from the obvious, of course).

MARRIAGE:

•  Mutual suspicion-- it's what makes a good marriage work
•  The day we stop cussing each other out is the day we know our marriage is in trouble
•  Our marriage is successful because it's the product of a failed divorce.

SEX:

•  Mental note: zerberts on the penis are good
•  (corollary to above) I just gave my husband a blowjob... literally! And he enjoyed it!
•  While making out with my husband, I heard a very clear and loud "boink!" (the IM chime on his phone)
•  Helly just got shocked by Allan's balls! (static)
•  She won't fake an orgasm, but she'll fake a tickle
•  Uh-oh, she's closing the blinds. She's either gonna fuck me or kill me.
•  (pouty-faced) I thought I was supposed to cum!
•  It's not GoToFuck! (on Allan staying in Portland while I'm in SB, and keeping in touch via chat/webcam, plus toys hooked up to each "other")
•  (in a resigned tone after finding nothing in the adult store) *sigh* I guess I'll have to buy a double-headed dildo online
•  "Ooh, baby! Do me 'till I dangle a participle!" (on sex while blogging-- and yes, for the record, this really works!)
•  Note to self: the apricot face scrub is NOT lube!
•  They're not speed bags, dammit, they're my testicles!

PERVERSION:

•  Allan: "I didn't marry a prude!" Helly: "No. *I* did!"
•  My wife's definition of "decorum" is saying "boob sex" instead of "titty fuck". Sigh.
•  What are you talking about!? You have your own built-in strapon! (Helly responding to Allan's assertion that she has more experience with strapons than he does)
•  Is a JB (possibly acronym for Jitter Buffer) a reverse blowjob? If so, does it mean the woman tries to spit cum back into the man's penis until it goes flaccid?

MISCELLANY:

•  You know... fuck being Asian! (on the practice of lugging around tons of souvenirs to bring home when traveling)
•  Is word leprosy an STD? (see this post for more on "word leprosy": http://heckledtrio.blogspot.com/2010/01/word-leprosy.html)
•  Humans: can't live with 'em... fuck 'em!

I Love My Bank, Part 2

I am happy to report that I did NOT participate in national "Bank Transfer Day", where disgruntled members of big behemoths like B of A were encouraged to make the switch to a bank or credit union where they wouldn't be gouged with fees. I don't blame them. I did the same when WaMu got bought out by Chase, and Chase began implementing a fee structure that could only be waived by 1) direct deposit (which we had) AND 2) a minimum amount for said direct deposit (which we did NOT have). We switched to Capital One, where we'd been keeping our savings-- better interest rate.

But, that was not our main bank. Our main bank is USAA, and we're sticking with them because, unlike other big banks, they really care about their customers and know HOW to take care of them.

Three years ago, I blogged about how wonderfully proactive USAA was about alerting us to potential fraudulent activity on our credit card. A year later, Allan's car was hit in our apartment parking lot by a drunk driver, and the transaction of getting the repair paid for went very smoothly. All throughout, whenever I had any questions or issues, I always encountered the friendliest of customer service. They were polite and thorough, always making sure our issue was completely resolved, and even though they did try, on occasion, to sell/upgrade us to certain products, they never pushed when I simply declined. As I said in my previous blog post, there is a reason they consistently rank in the top of Consumer Reports' "best customer service" category.

In fact, if they exceed their profit margin for the year, they give some of that money BACK to the customers! It isn't very much, but it's a nice little gesture. There are no outrageous fees, they refund ATM transaction fees, and make it really easy to take care of all kinds of financial needs all under one roof: banking, investments, credit cards, insurance.

Anyway, today's warm fuzzy about my bank comes about partly because the whole Bank Transfer Day movement made me especially appreciative of all the service that my bank provides, and partly because of my recent experience with something I have NEVER ever done in my life: an overdraft.

You see, we deposit my paycheck into savings, and Allan's into checking. So we essentially live off his paycheck alone. That worked well until a couple things happened recently. Todd came back and began at a new school, whose tuition was almost twice that of his old school. Not only that, but because payments are divided up into 10 months beginning from July, we owed about 3 months' worth of tuition all at once, when he began in September. The other thing was his karate lessons-- rather than writing a check every month, I prepaid for 6 months, earning a discount in the process. That's still a huge lump sum, though.

The end result? Before Allan's next paycheck was deposited, two smaller checks I'd written most recently managed to overdraw the account.

Now, I've never been one to think about overdraft protection. I usually manage our money well enough that it isn't necessary. But I had forgotten about the huge checks we wrote earlier in the month, since they veered so far off from our ordinary expenditures. And I'd never thought to actually *sign up* for overdraft protection.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I logged into our bank website to see how we were doing, and wondered what these "OD" deposits were into our checking account, and why they matched the exact dollar value of the last 2 checks written. I eventually figured it out, and realized that even though I'd never explicitly signed up for overdraft protection, USAA went ahead and took the money from our savings account anyway, to cover the overdrawn checks. And best of all? They did it for FREE. Most banks I know of will charge you to enroll in their overdraft protection plan. USAA not only does NOT charge for it, but they implemented it anyway, even though I hadn't signed up.

Now, if that's not taking care of your customers, I don't know what is.

So... in a climate where big banks are struggling to maintain a solid reputation and are gouging their customers, I am happy that we are with a big bank that truly has its customers' best interests at heart!

The Perks Of My Old Job

It's been a little over two months since I left Citrix Online and started working at UCSB. I wrote a bit about the why here. Shortly before I started working here, I came across this post by Young and Thrifty, a personal finance blogger I follow. She wrote a post about the perks of your job, and at the time, I was transitioning into the new job, and really missed the perks of my old job. Funny isn't it, how easily we take things for granted when they're readily available at all times.

First up, the food:
The kitchens at Citrix Online were well-stocked with all kinds of snacks: granola bars, Cheez-Its, Wheat Thins, peanut butter crackers, Corn Nuts, peanuts, sunflower seeds, various trail mixes, popcorn, pretzels, cookies. Whatever you had a hankering for, something was guaranteed to satisfy it.

Every Wednesday the Tech group was treated to free bagels with a wide assortment of cream cheeses. I could never decide on which cream cheese to get, so my bagel always ended up looking like a Christmas ornament-- 1/3 honey walnut, 1/3 strawberry, 1/3 blueberry.

And to keep things healthful, there was always fresh fruit onhand: apples, bananas, strawberries and grapes.

Then there was the drinks:
We had fancy coffee machines that dispensed a variety of different coffees and hot chocolate. You could control what kind of milk you got, and what flavorings were added. 
There were tons of Tazo teas in addition to the standard Lipton. I usually drank these.

There were sodas: your standard Coke, Diet Coke, root beer, Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew
Other cold drinks included apple juice, orange juice, Snapple (various flavors-- both regular and diet), lemonade, pineapple juice, and V-8.

Even the water had plenty of options! There was ice, cold water, hot water, room temperature water, and even fizzy water!

And a lot of other things:
The work-life balance is pretty enviable. For the engineers, at least, the hours were relatively flexible. You had people working all kinds of hours, from the standard 8-5 to a typical engineer's 10-7 :-) And when not in the office, our own remote access products enabled us to easily work from home anytime, whether we simply felt like it, or had to stay home to mind a sick child without taking time off.

There are plenty of ways to take a break at work, besides feasting on the myriad of snacks and drinks in the kitchen ;-) Each of the buildings on the Citrix Online campus housed something different in its break room. One building has billiards. Another has foosball. Yet another has ping pong. And all have some large-screen TVs featuring either cable channels or an electronic game system, such as the Wii. One building even has all the equipment for Rock Band!

One unique thing about the company was the ability to bring dogs to work. We took this a step further and brought our kid to work. Twice a week Todd would come hang out with us in the afternoon, saving on after-school care costs. One day he'd be in my building, another day in Allan's. It worked especially well when he got older, and I could simply plop him in the break room to read his book, watch TV or study. He knew his way around the building well enough that he could even hit the bathroom on his own when he needed to.

Contrast that to my current job, where I think we're lucky to HAVE a communal fridge, sink and microwave to share. We just recently got a water filter installed, so now I don't have to lug water bottles back and forth from home anymore. There's no denying that I miss a lot of the perks from my old job, but so far, it's been worth the trade-off.

What kinds of perks does your job have?

The Copier Warms Up

Our ancient copy machines take forever to warm up after a night of "sleeping". I had the happy "fortune" of having to wake one of these behemoths up, as I was the first one to use them one morning. I waited, and waited, and waited. Then waited some more. Before long, I realized that the screen kept changing pictures to match the warming-up progress. I decided to take pictures of it as it went along, not realizing that I'd have a whole slew of pictures by the time the copier was completely warmed up. It probably took a good 5 minutes, but at least I was somewhat entertained throughout it all!

It began with a space shuttle, ready for launch:

I missed the shot of the space shuttle reaching the top of that... whatever that scaffolding next to is called, but there is a screen where it has risen, plumes of smoke billowing out behind it. Then came a picture of the shuttle well on its way into space:

 

Distant planets are starting to come into view:

 I see meteors and other distant galaxies!

Finally, docking with another spacecraft. And now we actually get to see astronauts floating around in space.

Did you notice something interesting-- the progress bar to the left the entire time? It started out completely filled, and then emptied as the copier warmed up. Quite the opposite of what you'd expect in a progress bar, isn't it? Usually you expect those things to fill up, not empty, as it progresses. Definitely threw me for a loop the first time I saw it.

I have to admit, this sequence of pictures was actually kind of neat. kept me entertained during the wait, at least!

Crazy Baby Names

One of my favorite comic strips is "One Big Happy" by Rick Detorie. Little Ruthie is always full of witticisms and keen observations that only the pure, innocent mind of a child could come up with.

A long time ago, I remember reading a strip featuring the arrival of a babysitter. The teenager introduced herself at the door, and while I can't remember the exact words, her speech bubbles went something like this:

My name is Typhanni. Just like "Tiffany", but with a "ph" instead of an "f", 2 "n"s and the "i" and "y" switched.

I thought it was hilarious that she had to go into such a long spiel to explain how her name is so different from the original spelling.

Little did I know that this innocent little comic strip would be a foreshadowing of the recent trend of parents trying to conjure up "unique" spellings of ordinary names for their children. Things like "Madysynn" instead of "Madison". Worse yet, totally newfangled, weird names! This trend is made fun of a lot in a blog that I read regularly: STFU, Parents!

If you haven't read that blog, I highly recommend it. The blog owner posts screenshots (along with some funny personal commentary, which really makes reading it worthwhile) of parent overshare on Facebook-- pictures of dirty diapers, children's injuries, placentas(!!), mama drama, you name it, it's on there. It can make for effective birth control! And lest you think it's a child-free, child-bashing forum, it's not. I'd venture to say that most of the readers are parents themselves. We're just shaking our heads in wonder and disgust as we marvel at why on earth fellow parents would feel the need to overshare the less glamorous parts of parenthood. Strangely enough, a lot of the oversharing parents featured on the blog name their children something out of this world.

It's getting to the point where seeing a common name, spelled in an ordinary way (like "Katherine") is something of a rarity!

Which brings me to another "One Big Happy" strip that I came across recently, and enjoyed enough to share with the STFU, Parents site. It certainly sums up how most of us blog readers feel about this onslaught of unique (or should that be: "yoo-neek"?) baby names, and not just from celebrity parents!

Right on, Ruthie! Those kids are gonna need those blessings!

Dishydrosis

As I write this, I'm taking care not to rest my left palm on any surfaces, lest I irritate it.

Why, you ask? Well, my lifelong story with itching starts with birth. I was born with a condition called neurodermatitis, where all my joints itched, and I would scratch until they bled: neck, wrists, back of the knees, crook of the elbows. From the time I was born to the time I reached puberty, I was a sight that scared many moms of fellow children, because those parts of my body were constantly covered in scabs from the repeated scratching, bleeding, and healing. They thought it was a rash and indicative of a contagious skin disease (it's not). My mom tried every remedy under the sun. Nothing worked. Doctors were stumped. Only one had the answer: there's nothing you can do but wait. And he was right. When I hit puberty, everything suddenly vanished. If you look closely at my arms, wrists and legs, you can make out some of the scars from 12 years of constant itching. For the next decade, I lived in relative peace from the itching.

Then, in 1998, my palms started itching. Before I knew it, the entire surface of both of my hands were aflame with itchiness, and it got so bad that I had to wrap them in gauze to protect the open wounds from scratching, and to keep myself from making it worse. I remember eating lunch with a colleague at the mess hall. Someone stopped by our table to inquire about my hand, and before I could mumble something about a rash, my colleague interjected with: "She beat somebody up. You should see the other guy!"

It was funny, but not as funny as the constant itching. Fortunately, it went away after a few weeks. The incident still left me puzzled, because I had never in my life experienced itching on my PALMS before!

Enter the year 2008. I remember sitting at my desk at Citrix when I noticed a blister on my finger. Without thinking, I scratched at it. The next thing I knew, both hands were again covered in itchy blisters: not just the palm, the sides of my fingers, too! It didn't help that right around this time, I was hit with a bad bout of the flu, so the misery doubled. When a couple weeks had gone by with still no relief in sight, I did some searching online and came across articles (and a user group) on a condition called dishydrosis. The symptoms matched mine, and I checked the treatment options. While there is no cure, there ARE ways to find relief. One of the suggestions was to soak the affected area in hydrogen peroxide. I sent Allan to the drugstore for some, and tried it: poured some in a bowl and then just dunked my hands in it, one by one.

The effect was interesting: The affected area started bubbling and fizzing. Blisters turned white, drained, and eventually dried out. The itchiness subsided. And, except for a few spots where the wounds were still open, it didn't hurt a bit! After another week or two, my hands were back to normal.

Back to my opening sentence. As you can imagine, the blisters have struck again. Fortunately, they are confined to only part of my left palm. My fingers and my right hand remain unaffected. But it's been slow to heal. Armed with my H2O2 experiences from last time, I tried to do the soaks early on. So far they haven't helped-- blisters dry out, but new ones take their place soon afterward. My guess is that it simply takes several weeks, period, for the disease to run its course, and that the first time I tried the hydrogen peroxide treatment, it just so happened to be at the end of the cycle anyway. I guess I'll try being more faithful about soaking my hands this time around-- see if more regular use keeps the blisters at bay until they go away for good. It's already been a couple of weeks and I'm tired of this red, angry rash.

What's interesting about this is that each recurrence has been different. The first time, only my two palms were affected-- but very badly (i.e. the entire palm). The second time, my entire HAND was affected. And this time around, only part of my left palm. Count my blessings, at least? :-)